(fanfic from Harry’s POV)
Trying to find empathy is a lost cause in today’s world. I only find it in the talks with my therapist, then i think to myself, are they doing it because they are paid for it? we’ll never know.
The other day, i was telling someone close that, I’m dealing with a break up and am overwhelmed with work, so much so that I’m unable to cope and to no surprise the response was just an “ok”, to which my response was empathy is dead on you, ’cause i always tend to snap when I’m not treated right.
But now when i think and ponder on it, isn’t it what almost everyone does these days? Just not care when you are dealing with shit and want to engage only in fun conversations. No one really cares. Is this something that comes with growing up? when did we all just stop caring? have i stopped caring too? (okay, stop overthinking Rach, its 12am! get some sleep or better yet, listen to anti-hero by Taylor Swift on repeat and pour your thoughts out to random strangers on the internet, yes i choose latter)
I so wish to hear some comforting words sometimes and seek for it by making calls to friends, reaching out and engaging in conversations with strangers. All the while forgetting that i don’t really need to do that. We are social beings, yes. But i guess, instead of seeking outwards, i should well, look inwards? Yes! emotional independence and all that. (hehehe, now you get it, it’s okay that you took time). No, don’t get me wrong. It is okay to socialize and talk, but i guess not okay to depend or expect.
Not expecting is the superpower that saved me from a lot of teary nights and puffy eyed mornings. I didn’t have that power growing up though, it is something that i gained over time, age, experience and grey hair.
I’m no sleep fairy to sprinkle empathy on the world, but one can hope to do so. One can hope that when I wake up tomorrow, after weeks of battling alone, sleepless nights and finding solace in books, my best friend will come home with chocolate cake and ask me why i have been MIA, my mother will sit down and say, “i know you are trying your best, it will be okay”. One can hope, can’t she?
But will it happen? Maybe not. (it only happens in movies lol)
But then again, even if it doesn’t, the world and time won’t stop. Earth will still go around the sun like it has since the dawn of time. (what a stamina, i say) and time will move forward and so will our life, so why am i standing still hoping for things to change.(so silly!)
It’s time to take that next step forward and maaaybe backward aswel and sideways and forward again, lol yes, I’m dancing. Dancing my way to growth, laughter, peace and the said emotional independence. 🙂
’cause, Así es la vida, sí 🦋
rachana rajan <3 