(fanfic in Harry’s POV)
I started therapy really young, in my early twenties, when I didn’t really know what it meant. If you’re wondering why, well, I was bullied badly and my parents freaked out because I wouldn’t stop crying. Yup, that’s why.
As you might have guessed already, I didn’t really have a clue what was going on and since I was in a state of shock and confusion, I didn’t realize that it wasn’t really the best experience.
‘Cause, one, it’s important to speak and engage in conversation with your therapist, which I didn’t do. I didn’t really say much than ask just some random questions and cry. Two, he was a fucking asshole (sorry about the swearing but nothing really suits him best except for these two words, so bear with me). I’m not gonna go into details about it other than he DID NOT help at all and was very inappropriate.
Now when I think back about it, I don’t know if it’s because therapy needs to improve drastically in India, but I cannot make that assumption based on the couple of people I’ve spoken to. But since I did speak to one of the bests’ I’m just going to state it anyway.
What’s lacking from the experience I’ve had with bad therapy is that the therapists need to broaden their thoughts and be more expressive. Also, have a hold on the language they are using. They might be good in other languages, I wouldn’t know. But if it’s English that they are using to communicate, they need to have a hold on that language. (sorry about the unsolicited advice, I neither like giving or taking it, but it is what it is, someone had to say it)
Having said that, after almost 10 years of switching and trying I did find few good ones I’ve been speaking to recently.
We actually vibe and they do “get” my chain of thoughts. Yes, they do. I use to always believe I had to go abroad for someone to understand the way I think, but no, there are good people out here too.
It takes some time, but when you find your therapist, it’s honestly one of the best thing that can happen to you.
Let me explain, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t really confide or open up much to friends or family because of the difference in opinions that I have with them and then, ego and pride comes into the picture as well. You’ll be lying if you say no. Sometimes you just don’t wanna open up too much to certain people because the conversation doesn’t really go well, which might lead to cutting ties. (been there, done that) Aaaand I hate receiving advice (which is my personal choice), if the advice is unsolicited I tend to get defensive and snap.
So, I personally feel that therapy is the best solution that I have found. I don’t really take it up to get advice but to get a change of perception, so that my chain of thoughts can lead to the right direction. And also, to clear my head. It really gets heavy sometimes carrying the weight in my head, joking around the whole day and being happy. No, I am happy. But how is my mind you ask? fucked (welcome to adulthood :p).
So the baggage I was carrying for 10 years was let go in a matter of couple of months in 2020, when I finally found my therapist.
There are certain things that your therapist say, that stays with you and lasts. And you see yourself changing and growing. I will always remember them and pass it on to those to reach out to me.
Yes, I still take up therapy when I need it. But I like to keep a healthy gap and not be dependent because I’m big on being self sufficient. But it does help to get a change of perception every now and then.
So that I can grow and keep growing. (verb because growth is constant and never stops)
🙂
rachana rajan <3 