(fanfic in Harry’s POV)
Have I been in love? Yes, i think so? But i don’t really know (Haha, as confused as a person pulling a door that say “push”).
It doesn’t really make sense to me anymore.
why?
Because, it is so easy for men to say “I love you” and not really stick to it that I actually question myself, was it really love? or was it just some random words that were spoken without really understanding what it actually meant.
the latter probably :)
I don’t think I’ve fully understood what it means. This is coming from someone who lives and breathes romance novels and cries while watching (cringey) aww so romantic rom-com movies. But i do know, it doesn’t really make sense. That’s the funny thing about love, it doesn’t make sense. We just feel it. All around us and inside us, making us slaphappy and relating to all possible love songs we hear.
I don’t know if I’ve felt it, till now. I’ve felt something close to it, said things which i didn’t really mean to a LOT of men because they were saying it. I’ve also lost my mind over one particular person who wasn’t really worthy of it. But hey! it’s okay. Everyone has at some point, haven’t they? (you’re probably thinking about that person right now and nodding a yes :p).
But i guess, I term them as “mistakes” and not love. No, i wouldn’t argue with you saying it’s a mistake because it didn’t last. Because nothing is meant to last in this world, not even us (I don’t know if I’ll wake up tomorrow). All i know is today and right now. So yeah, they were mistakes because they don’t mean a thing to me once i figured out that, i was delusionally naive and they were assholes who took advantage of it.
(DMs the songs ABCDEFU and IDGAF to them, for real :p)
Moving on, lets go back to love not being forever. Lately, after dating a bunch of men i have learnt that, everyone are so obsessed about forever and happily ever after and following the social norms, they forget about the little joys of now. I believe in pausing and hugging for that extra second and holding on. Also, in holding hands when they say they might not be able to meet you for another month, might have also cried at that. Was it love though? I wouldn’t know. But I’m so happy with these little things that I don’t really think about anything more than that. I just wanna savor these moments and stay in them. Not really thinking about tomorrow or what comes after, you know? Being right here, right now :)
What really is right or wrong? Something i strongly believe in might make no sense at all to you and the other way around.
I just know that If you feel something for someone and they do too, it literally knocks your socks off and makes you do crazy crazy things and that my friend is the meaning of life :) Yes, the moment you have right now with you, high on your feelings. If you’re lucky, you might marry that person and go on a whole different journey which will make that feeling stronger.
Have you felt that? No, do not think if it is meant to last or if you’ll grow old together. But if you’ve felt that, you might relate to all of Taylor Swift’s music and other music too, but yeah, mostly Taylor’s.
To quote Taylor “I just wanna stay, in that lavender haze.”
:)
rachana rajan <3 