(fanfic in Harry’s POV)
I am very well aware of this topic mentioned in the title because I’ve dealt with it my whole fucking life.
As far as I can remember I’ve always been skinny and wheatish complexion and my hair has been frizzy. Which I feel is not a sin but the amount of hatred I got for it had to be.
The entire freaking world hasn’t let a single opportunity slide to say I am ugly or look like beans or I am flat or all of the above, to which I wish I can reply now as, do you have mirror at your house? please have a look at it!
Why didn’t I say it then? I do not know. Maybe I silently accepted it and wished on all the stars I was beautiful too.
But you know what was wrong with that thinking? I didn’t see it then but I see it now. I didn’t have to change. There was actually nothing wrong with me. That girl didn’t have to change. She was okay the way she was. She was more than okay. She was beautiful just that the world didn’t see it. Like someone close to me said beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
You might say Rachana you called your friend ugly too when you retaliated. To which I wanna say she called me that first, I realized it late and retaliated even later. So you do not know the whole story 🙂
Who hasn’t called me ugly you ask? The people whom I met recently in recent times. Everyone else in my life broke my self confidence to pieces. I do not hate them anymore for it. I have forgiven the world. Why? because I grew up.
We Indians have this annoying habit which I have sometimes too. We tell people they have gained weight when we meet them. I realize sometimes I say it unintentionally and when I realize it I make sure I go back to them and correct it.
So what I am trying to say is that. What’s said is said, you can never take it back, but did you go back to that person and apologize like I did when it wasn’t intentional? when it was intentional well, I guess you will never do it.
I remember how everyone used to treat me back then and how they treat me now. The thing with me is even if I forgive I do not forget something that is done intentionally. I never accept them in my mind or in my life.
I remember a particular incident where my mom told me to settle for men who I do not find attractive because she said and I quote “who do you think you are”
I remember my cousin bro pointing at me in a room full of people calling me ugly.
I remember a lot of things like that, how can you forget such things.
I do not care who it is anymore because I love myself immensely.
I am not going to ever take this BS anymore. My reply to body shaming now is my middle finger and a mirror.
rachana rajan <3 