(fanfic in Harry’s POV)
There have been many people in my life whom I’ve loved immensely but we don’t talk anymore.
The thing is when we get too close to a person fights are bound to be. But how do you handle the fight is what matters. I’ve been close to a lot of people in my life. Actually a lot. But most of the time it doesn’t work out.
I do not know why that is. It used to work out when I didn’t have a voice and accepted the doormat treatment. But the minute I started speaking up friendships fell apart like a collapsing building during earthquake.
Does that mean I need to continue being silent or just that it wasn’t meant to be? maybe the latter because the satisfaction that comes with having a say in things that is hurtful is good for my mental health and peace of mind.
It’s just that I’ve been so broken the last couple of months, actually years, and dealt with all kinds of individuals in my life to know what people are. Sometimes it doesn’t work out no matter how much we love and care for them. Some have way too much ego than necessary which actually breaks all relationship and friendship.
Some might not have caused any trauma and would have just drifted off into space. If they disappear and I have reached out a fair amount of time I might have to take a step back and love and care for them from a distance. Because self respect is something I’ve learnt the hard way.
Sometimes that’s all I can do because both of them have to be in the same place for it to work. Both have to put in equal efforts. Just me texting, calling and staying in touch all the time might not be what friendship is.
If it should’ve been, it would’ve been, even in friendship. If they wanted me in their life they would have made sure I was. If they wanted things to work out just as much as me, it would have worked out. Because sometimes just one person trying gets them nowhere.
rachana rajan <3 