(fanfic in Harry’s POV)
I have been confused about my sexuality since a very long time, but now I am sure I am bisexual?
I have been attracted to women on screen since my early memories. I didn’t really know what it meant because women in real life never attracted me. So I always felt I am straight.
I have been attracted to boys in school, college but never girls. Now when I think about it maybe I was straight? I really don’t know how it works. I was attracted to a female friend in my previous company the very first time for a brief period of time and I felt maybe I am bi but whenever I used to meet her in real, no feelings. So I was confused and still figuring it all out.
I was confused for a long time not able to understand why I don’t feel anything when I was with that person. To my dismay, every single person I’ve met in my life has forced me to talk about my sexuality. I was constantly harassed by everyone to come out. I didn’t know what to say to them because I was clueless myself.
I spoke to my therapist about it and told her maybe I am bi. She explained that sexuality is not solid and it can keep changing and asked me to explore. So I joined bumble but didn’t have it in me to swipe so I deleted it.
I met one of my friend 2 years ago and I for sure felt things for her. But again, it was for a very brief time like for 2 seconds. So I was confused AF.
I was talking to Ginny about it, she is the only person in the world who didn’t force me to talk about my sexuality and let me be myself. She said I am bi because I felt horny. So I joined bumble again and when I spoke to other bi women I felt things for them. That’s when I came out to the world.
The women Ginny likes? I like them too.
But it’s difficult to understand because I don’t really have any sure feelings for anyone in real. I have feelings for them only virtually? I’ve never been in love with a woman nor can I imagine myself having sex with a them. I don’t think I can do anything to them. But then again I’ve never felt like having sex with men too. I get those feelings only when I am in love with someone and that’s always been men.
I don’t know how all this works but yeah maybe I am bisexual?
Maybe I am still figuring out.
But I am out and proud 🙂
rachana rajan <3 