rachana rajan <3

(fanfic in Harry’s POV)

I imagine myself sitting on the beach and just looking at the vast expanse of water beyond. (can’t do that in reality yet, ’cause my bank balance doesn’t agree)

There is a certain calmness that comes after the storm. The calmness where I accept that things that happened where not in my control. I reacted the way I did based on the knowledge I had at that time and I forgive myself for it.

Time has passed and the intensity of my pain has reduced. Accepting may not be agreeing. Cause I can never agree with the madness that my life was made into. I can never ever agree with that. But karma is a relaxing thought. I would have let it go if the message had come with the truth and zero bullshit.

But you know what? that message is never gonna come. I’ve made my peace with it and stand up for myself when it’s shitty, always. I say NO and FUCK OFF when needed too, unapologetically. There is a certain kinda calmness that comes with saying that. There is a certain kinda calmness that comes with speaking about things that matter. There is a certain kinda calmness that comes with cutting off toxic.

There is a certain kinda calmness that comes with knowing that I didn’t give up.

Now I am listening to piano music and am at peace. I’m proud of myself and I’m learning and growing each day.