(fanfic in Harry’s POV)
I’ve struggled to understand this topic most part of my life.
I love everyone around me and find them beautiful, in a platonic way. Growing up I didn’t understand why I wasn’t attracted to anyone, so I lied and faked to blend in. When I started dating and men said they liked me, I said it back because yes, I liked them. But I struggled and battled inside not understanding why I was not turned on. I always always felt something is wrong with me and again I lied and faked.
Until, I met Lockhart and I started feeling things I’ve never felt before and I just couldn’t stop. Same was with Will, I just couldn’t stop. Now with Ginny and there is no stopping.
I kept battling thoughts trying to understand why I didn’t feel like that for other men. I just couldn’t make sense. That’s when one of my friend mentioned she is demi sexual, I googled it and everything made sense.
God, all my life I felt like an alien, when I’m fucking demi sexual. (face palm)
Yes, I liked those men I dated, but it was platonic liking and wasn’t attraction. I used to get so scared thinking something is wrong with me when those men used to say I don’t cum. I used to be in internal trauma.
Yeah, welcome to my world, I’m stupid AF. Sometimes the most obvious things has to be said to me in ABC.
Now that I have a better understanding of it. I’m able to make better choices in my dating life. I’m so so glad about it, I cannot tell you how much.
I’m able to differentiate and understand now.
But I’m still not able to understand my bisexual side. Because I feel I’m straight most of the time. It’s just so confusing.
rachana rajan <3 