(fanfic in Harry’s POV)
I have no secrets left, so let’s talk about this as well.
I like masturbating. I did it a lot when I was young because it felt good but didn’t know what I was doing. I always felt something was wrong with me. I was harassed brutally to talk about it when I couldn’t speak or form words. I was mentally tortured by the world.
When I think about it, all this could have been avoided if, I was educated about it instead of brutally being tormented mentally. Educated about it by my so called best friend, therapist or doctor 10 years ago. But what they did was inhumane and shakes my soul even now when I think about it.
I had no interest in anyone around me, I just liked masturbating. That’s it.
It took me many years to feel attracted to another person. I was not attracted to anyone until Gilderoy Lockhart. You know what happened after that, so I’m not going to dig into that.
Unfortunately, the only time I had sex was with a psychopath I felt nothing for, who traumatized me in bed again and again. You know who he was, so not going to dwell into that too.
What I’m trying to say is that, since that was my only experience, i don’t really get the fuss. I still prefer masturbating and don’t really crave sex. I’m not an animal to do it all night or in the loo. I’m just so sick and tired of hearing all this shit.
I’ve never been lucky to do it with men I felt things for. So maybe I’ll never know or maybe I will someday, I dunno, no one does.
rachana rajan <3 