It’s 00:34AM, the blinds are open and there is a faint light pouring into the room through the window from the lamppost outside. I’m listening to music using my old-school earphones. I’m listening to that song, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard it.
The words of that song is making my heart beat so fast. I’ve been thinking about the things we almost did and the butterflies in my stomach is as alive as when you were next to me.
I still feel the warmth of your hand on mine and every where on me. The warmth is spreading through me like wildfire even after a year.
If things had not gone wrong in my life, would you have stayed? I’ve never expected it though cause I don’t really expect anything. There might have been hope in me, but the hope was just to talk to you for a little while longer. I didn’t really hope for anything else. I didn’t think there might be a day when we don’t, cause I don’t think that far ahead.
There are tears streaming down my cheeks because I don’t want to know the answer. I don’t think I can give you anything even if you had stayed. I don’t know if I can even kiss these days, cause I’ve been sick.
I don’t know what am I really wishing for, maybe it’s more time with you, maybe it’s just to see you again. I don’t know, but nothing more than that.
Why did God give me a heart so big that doesn’t know how to stop feeling and the rest of me that’s incapable of doing anything regular.
What was I made for?
rachana rajan <3 