(from Harry’s POV)
Almost 11 years ago, I was taken to Dumbledore because of the immense BS that happened because of Voldemort and her faulty perception.
Dumbledore started giving me medication without asking me a single question and without any facts or evidence and continued giving me the medication for 11 years based on his assumptions.
He told me I won’t be able to function without the medication and gaslighted me ruthlessly since day 1.
He made me question my own reality and made me crazy and also the world spoke to me in false empathy, I’m not sure whose fault that was.
I asked him since day 1 what is happening, but he wasted my 11 years and I continued to stay in pain.
He told me if I take less doze or stop the medication I will have “suspicion”.
You want to know something?
I am on less dosage right now since couple of months and I have zero suspicion.
He assumed a lot of BS about me like I think that people can read my mind which sounds absolutely ridiculous to me because I have never said that to him.
If I hadn’t taken up therapy 3 years ago, I would have continued to suffer and continued thinking that I have all these symptoms which is absolute crap.
I don’t have anger issues too. It is just a regular reaction to abnormal amount of BS that was created around me.
I think I have already proved everything with my fanfics.
What do I do now?
I’m unable to stop the medication because of the withdrawal symptoms because I have been on this meds since a very very long time. It looks like my body is somehow addicted to these drugs.
If I try to stop it, I’m having adverse effect and I feel like I’m going to die.
Because of the mistakes of other people I’m facing the consequences and I faced the consequences for 11 years.
I don’t think I can do anything right now other than continue with these meds until I find a way out of it.
Instead of doing the right thing and saying the right things and accepting that he fucked up, you want to know what Dumbledore did?
He was in constant pursuit to prove that he is right, even if it meant he had to medically gaslight me ruthlessly.
I know I’m always lost in the book world, but which reader isn’t?
Maybe I didn’t understand what happened couple of years ago and that’s because no one told me anything and I was stupid and there was immense gaslighting that happened.
Just because I had a different childhood doesn’t necessarily mean something should be wrong with me right? I don’t know why the world was in constant quest to find what it was, instead of just asking me, “what happened?”
My life was ruined because of this mess.
I have never had schizophrenia, I don’t need an MBBS degree to say this.
I know I’m quirky and different and stupid and well, that’s the only thing that is wrong with me and was wrong with me.
rachana rajan <3 