rachana rajan <3

I was forcefully taken to my granny’s funeral because back then I didn’t have a choice.

But now I do.

I don’t want to attend a funeral ever again.

Honestly, I hate what happens in India after someone dies.

Initially, it’s everyone sitting in a room and crying followed by burning the body.

Later feast is prepared for people for days together. The cousins and aunties playing cards, games, singing, dancing etc having the time of their of their lives because it’s a reunion for them.

This is what I’ve seen growing up and I’ve hated every bit of it.

I’m happy that I’ve grown up now and I have choice not to be a part of this.

I’m not sure how I sound right now but I feel that when I look back, I want the last memory I have with the person to be when they are alive and in a good note. I never want to see someone I love dead and being burnt because that will send me in a trauma I will never come out of.

I most certainly don’t want to be a part of the ridiculous ceremonies and enjoyment that follows.

When a loved one pass away, I want to cry alone in my room and I want to be alone and move on from it. I really don’t want to see them dead. I would want to talk to someone about it, like a family member or close friend, that’s it.

Choosing not to be a part of the funeral doesn’t mean I don’t love them. This is what I want to do.

I prefer telling the person I love that I love them when they are alive and make them feel valued and cared for.

I really don’t want to see someone I love dead.

I’m glad to be an adult and have a choice on what I want to do because growing up I never had a choice.