My parents aren’t doing anything these days.
Things are fine. I’m mostly peaceful.
But unfortunately my memories can’t be erased.
Sometimes when I’m watching something, I randomly remember the countless times my mother intentionally tortured me so that I scream and she can fuck sympathy.
To make things worse, the world kept hurting me for my reaction to intentional torture and I got hurt twice, based on my mother’s charades.
When I remember all that I spiral and sink into a quick sand.
Father might be good to my nieces, but that doesn’t change the countless assaults and harassments that he put me through, does it?
Sometimes just seeing him or hearing him sneeze puts me in trauma because I remember living in the previous houses with him when he was tormenting and assaulting me with his eyes glued to my body my entire adult life.
To make things worse, the world keeps sneezing like him and I go into trauma again and again and again.
People can be masochist sometimes.
Distance from my family is the only solution for this.
I’m just waiting for my own money.
Things are fine now but my memories are still there.
I try to brush it off and be normal with them because they aren’t doing anything now.
I don’t really have a life. I’m just making the best of what I have.
rachana rajan <3 