Today I was sitting on the beanbag in the bedroom and listening to music. I’m wearing shorts and a tee shirt.
Mother came inside to use the bathroom and after she was done she called father inside.
After he came inside, he turned his head completely to look at my legs. His eyes was exactly down on the floor at my legs and then he went inside the bathroom.
This happened 1 hour ago and I’ve been in trauma ever since.
This isn’t the first time he has done this. He has done this multiple times whenever he comes inside the bedroom.
Every time father stares at my body I want to die instantly.
I have expressed and confronted him my entire adult life. I have spoken about it here multiple times. But he continues to do it and just doesn’t stop.
I just want my money so that I can move out of this house.
My parents are never going to change. I have accepted this reality.
I’m going to be in continuous trauma as long as I’m living in this house with them.
I’ve stopped confronting them and stopped fighting, instead my sadness eats me inside everyday.
Everyday I suffer and I guess I have to suffer forever because I see no end to their behavior and the world is not giving me my money, no matter how many times I ask for it.
rachana rajan <3 