Dear Diary.

I don’t know what was wrong with me before. I don’t know why I couldn’t hate anyone even though they were hurting me brutally.

I feel it’s because I didn’t understand what happened.

I couldn’t hate Voldemort, Bellatrix, Lucius and other death eaters.

I used to always battle my feelings because I struggled to understand things. I didn’t know what happened and what’s right and what’s wrong.

I always tried to love them and self blame because they put on an innocent mask and manipulated me.

I didn’t know what is manipulation until recently.

I was so stupid.

I seriously don’t know what was wrong with me.

I feel so angry when I think about what I did, you know loving the evil.

But I loved everyone back then.

Even now I don’t hate, but I have an understanding of the world and what is evil, so I have learnt it.

I also understand everyone are not good and I should not blindly trust, which I learnt from experience. No one told me this.

I learn something new even now, which I guess everyone already knows but it’s new to me.