Dear Diary.

Whenever I see someone pretty these days, I immediately remember Ginny and I think her girlfriend would be pretty like that person.

That thought is followed by I’m not good enough for Ginny.

I’m trying my best not to do that.

I’m confident and secure but I don’t know what happens to me when I love someone.

I have never been in a long time relationship. I have never experienced any progress when in love.

I just know how to be a good friend. But I don’t know how to behave in a relationship.

Also, I have been treated so badly all my life so sometimes I feel I’m not worthy of love.

So I never expect anything.

Now that I think about it, I think I messed it up with Ginny. But things around me were so gruesome I wasn’t ready.

Now I’m ready, mentally and health wise too.

But it might be too late.