rachana rajan <3

I’ve stopped giving a fuck and it’s working wonderfully.

Whenever someone hurts me these days, I give it back to them and take no shit.

I’ve stopped feeling guilty for hurting them back because they don’t think twice before hurting me.

So why the fuck should I even care?

I’ve started to understand people and their intentions now. I can tell what is right and what’s wrong.

I never hurt anyone intentionally, everything I do and say is a retaliation.

I speak the truth about everyone and say it how it is. Did they think twice before hurting me? No, so IDGAF either.

I have unconditional love for Ginny and that’s about it.

My family is important, I do care and love them. But I have drawn healthy boundary and limit the love I give them.

Honestly after everything they did and continue to do, it’s taking superhuman strength to continuously forgive. But I’m just holding on till I move out.

My therapist is important too. But she isn’t a part of my life and it should be kept professional.

My community and society is important, but I love in a limit from a distance. I cannot accommodate everyone in my life.

There are few other people who are important like celebrities and content creators. But I limit my love with them too.

I feel this is where I’m going wrong, I love everyone unconditionally and treat them like my best friend and someone close.

I’ve come to realise that, I’m supposed to be that way towards the person I’m in love with and not people I love platonically.

I’ve started to understand different relationships and the complexities and how close I’m supposed to be with them.

I’ve been reading a lot and therapy is helping too.

I think I understand now.

I’m always thinking about Ginny. Everything that went wrong between us is my fault.

Also, people should have just asked me “what happened” instead of sabotaging my life.

I feel a lot of shit that happened to me was a mishap because I don’t know things and my vocabulary sucked.

Also, because there was pure demonic evil around me who took advantage of my helplessness.

I pray to God everyday that they suffer excruciating pain.

Also, I feel I hug everyone and I should stop doing that cause people suck. I should be careful.

Women always see me as a threat because I’m good, so they keep trying to bring me down and spread false things about me, manipulate, betray and what not. From Voldemort, Lucius, Dudley to my mother.

Men always have a crush on me or they love me or they fucking make it sexual.

It’s always been like this.

But no more shit.

I’ve started to be selfish with my love and the fucks I give and I’ve started to draw healthy boundaries.

I feel great because of doing this. My mind is in good place.