rachana rajan <3

Why I said all that about overthinking is because so many unfair and alarming things have happened to me in the past.

I’ve gone through so so much. You won’t believe how much pain and suffering.

Every day was a brutal struggle and I didn’t see an end to it.

One day when I was in the previous house, the domestic violence was so bad I just couldn’t handle it and father used to brutally stare at my body.

I was constantly suicidal.

The whole world was blaming my mind when I tried to tell people and my mother was blaming me for his behaviour. No one believed my words back then, I was a doormat.

I was in enormous unimaginable pain. For few minutes I got this really strong feeling to stab fathers eyes.

But I layed down on bed and closed my eyes and thought to myself, is it the right thing to do? The answer was no.

I knew I shouldn’t do that and I’m the kinda person who will never hurt someone physically or resort to violence.

So I killed my strong feeling with my resolve that I’m not that person and persevered and held on and prayed. After few minutes that feeling passed.

After that incident, I’ve never had that thought.

That was the only time I’ve had such a thought in my life and talking to myself and overthinking helped me.

Now things are much different because circumstances have changed and father changed completely after God blessed us with my nieces.

Father is not staring these days too. I think he understood his mistake and is trying.

Imagine if I had acted on that feeling all those years ago, people would have blamed my mind because people thought I was crazy back then.

But God was with me and he helped me persevere.

Now the world knows the truth and I’m in a better place because I have proved my innocence and sanity.

Things are always better on the other end of emotional turmoil.

That’s why I told you about Sirius’s quote because it makes sense.