I was in enormous pain because of what happened to me and I had all this anger and emotions inside of me that I let loose by writing about it all this while.
It was cathartic.
Now upon further reflection, growth and understanding, I feel I should just let it go and have grace.
I have reached a point in life where the anger I had inside of me because of every unfair thing that happened to me is healed.
I leaned on hate and karma when I was going through it because it kinda made the pain easier to deal with.
Now I feel I was wrong.
There are some things that happened to me that was extremely alarming and it was caused by certain people and they did it intentionally.
I don’t think I can forgive them for what they put me through in this lifetime. I’m not going to force myself to do so either.
But since I have put the burden of the pain down, I’m no longer going to wish anything bad happens to them or they suffer and go to hell. I don’t have any hatred in me towards them either.
I’m just going to let it go and hope they heal, grow and find peace.
I can never allow them back in my life even if they have changed because in doing so I will be compromising on my peace of mind.
I like to believe that we belong in different universes that cannot collide.
Experiencing whatever I experienced because of them taught me so much about life and made me who I am today.
I have gained an understanding, knowledge and experience.
Whatever happened had to happen the way it happened and wouldn’t have happened any other way.
I place my trust in God.
We don’t know if God exists, we don’t know what lies beyond our world in this vast universe, we don’t know what happens to us after we die.
There are so many things we don’t really have answers for.
But having faith gets us through unimaginable hardships, so it makes my belief stronger.
Having hope is what keeps us going.
And love is the best thing in this world. Romantic and platonic.
I believe we were made to love.
rachana rajan <3 