After meeting almost hundred men after Ginny, who wanted commitment, marriage and all those green flag stuff, I realised I couldn’t care less about them.
Even if they had a pretty face.
I wasn’t able to connect with anyone and I didn’t see it going anywhere too.
It didn’t feel right. I didn’t even like most of them.
I had a crush on Krishna, I don’t know how that happened, but he didn’t like me back and it just evaporated.
Anyway, it’s after all this that I realised, I don’t care about label or commitment or anything.
All I know is, I just want to talk and spend time with Ginny because she is constantly on my mind.
I’m okay with whatever label.
I kinda didn’t know much about dating before, I’ve been reading so much and I kinda started understanding things after that.
And my therapist said, there must be misunderstandings between you both.
That’s when I thought to myself, omg yes, fuck. That’s when I realised I fucked up.
So yeah.
Makes sense why she didn’t choose me.
I’m in denial, atm.
This is valid only for her. I felt the same for Will couple of years ago.
I’m not sure if I will meet someone again, no one knows.
I’m okay without it too for now. I like my family when they aren’t doing anything.
I don’t I’ve lost interest in everything.
Even if I make a lot of money, most of it will go to charity.
I want to give my parents a good comfortable life in their last days and I don’t want to hurt them or get hurt again. I don’t want them to worry about money again.
I don’t know what people want and what I’m waiting for tbh.
All this is beyond me.
rachana rajan <3 