Dear Diary.

I think even if mom is triggering me intentionally, it is up to me to not react.

What she does isn’t in my control but my reaction is.

So I should work on my reaction.

The problem with me is, with my parents, once it starts it doesn’t end.

I’ve gone through so much and I will be trying to push things aside and forget with superhuman strength.

A little push and everything flows out and then there is an ocean and I’m drowning.

I do not want to hurt them or get hurt.

I just want an out.

But this shackles of not having money has tied me in place.