I was not mentally present when I hugged krutika.
I was blanking out and weak.
I remember Ashwin touching my hand during that time.
I think I might have been thinking about something and squeezed her hand.
But I’m saying the truth, I’m not attracted to women in real life, I never was and I’m not, even now.
Even when I leaned my head on Dhruv’s shoulder, I was not mentally present. I was constantly thinking about Ginny.
I kinda didn’t realise what happened because I wasn’t aware of my surrounding. I was thinking about Ginny and kinda lost in my head.
When I was with all the men I dated after Ginny, I was never mentally present with them.
I was just using them to numb the pain I felt and I was really really desperate for a hug.
Sometimes I don’t realise what’s happening around me because I’ll be in my head.
I think I used to mastrubate looking at women on TV. That’s why everyone thought I’m bisexual.
I honestly didn’t know what I was doing.
It took me a long time to understand my feelings.
Also, I’m straight 95% of the time and I’m not attracted to women in real life.
Whatever conversation I had with Ginny was personal, it was none of anyone’s business.
I was just saying all that to make him happy and he was saying it to make me happy.