I already said, I really like that waitress as a person, she is nice. I have nothing against her.
I repeated it, couple of times.
I’m not looking for friends at the moment because I’m not in the mindspace for it.
My mind is really weak because of the enormity of the trauma I went through since two years.
I just sit alone, try to figure it out and heal.
Also, reading calms me so I read.
I’m not really interested in making friends at the moment because I’m not ready.
I’m not ready to date as well.
I will do it sometime in the future when I feel ready.
Right now I’m just solving all my problems and trying to work on myself and feel better.
Even if I talk to someone I just keep it casual because I have too much on my plate.
It’s because of all this that I was not interested in being friends with her.
My parents constantly torture me at home.
There is no parks here, so I would go to that pub and just sit with nature quietly and calm down.
Heal and try to feel better.
Under this circumstances, it is really difficult when someone continuously approaches me and tells me their problems.
Because I have bigger problems and I was trying to heal.
She was thinking I was going there to talk to her, which I wasn’t.
If she wants to talk to me, there’s absolutely nothing wrong in that.
There’s a time and place for everything.
She wasn’t understanding that I had millions of problems and I just wanted to be alone and feel better.
Just because I don’t talk about my problems and smile always, doesn’t mean I’m okay.
I had absolutely no peace at home and I just wanted to sit alone for sometime.
You need to understand that I’m not at fault.
Also, I was badly assualted, even sexually. So I complained. Which any normal person would do.
The way people have been behaving after that incident is wrong because I was already shaken and people have been continuously stabbing me on top of it.
When I’m the victim here.
You don’t know how much strength it takes to hold on when this is what people are doing when I’m already suffering.
People have been behaving like cruel monsters when I’m not at fault to begin with.
People need to learn to understand things and respect people.
I’ve already repeated these things several times, but it just goes above everyone’s heads.
rachana rajan <3 