rachana rajan <3

I didn’t masturbate all night during childhood. I don’t know who the fuck said that.

I did it quite often, yes. But that’s before I understood what it was.

After I started talking to people and educating myself on everything by myself.

It became really less.

Also, I’ve gone years without doing it as well because of the assualts that were happening to me.

Whenever I’m in love, I tend to overflow with feelings that I cannot control.

It wasn’t love with Lockhart but I had uncontrollable feelings for him because it was the first time. I did it often during that time.

Since it was my first time feeling that way, it became too much.

After that I stopped for a long time.

After that when I met Will, again I couldn’t control my feelings because I was overflowing. I did it often that time too.

I would speak about it to my friends during this time.

Then later I stopped.

After I met Ginny again I had uncontrollable feelings for a year and half, so I did it often.

It was during this time that I got attracted to women and came out.

It was as though my feelings for Ginny was kinda getting mixed with my feelings for Symran and few other women, I’ve already said whom.

Even before that I was attracted to women online but it was rare and it didn’t last for more than few minutes. Also, it wasn’t strong.

I just didn’t know what was happening, I did confide in my friends that I’m confused about my sexuality. I spoke to a therapist as well.

But it wasn’t a solid feeling so I let it go.

It’s only after I met Ginny and I had this very strong feeling for her and after I started speaking to her about this, I don’t know what exactly happened but that’s when I was bisexual, like actually.

For the first time in my life.

It lasted for few months, I had strong feelings for Symran.

Then it faded. After that I’ve been straight.

Now when I look at Symran, I feel nothing.

I’m not exactly sure what happened and I do not understand it exactly.

Since over a year, my feelings for Ginny has calmed down, I already said this. Hence I’m able to speak normally to her and love her the normal amount.

Also, I somehow became straight.

My bisexuality is on and off. Once I understand it better I will let you know.

Also, it was when I had strong feelings for Lockhart that I had feelings for Shruti. I already said she is the first real person whom I liked.

But it wasn’t real and it faded after few minutes.

I couldn’t understand what happened, it was as though my feelings for Lockhart was getting mixed and I became bisexual for few minutes.

I don’t know exactly. But this is what I have understood so far.