rachana rajan <3

Even if that person at 46 does love and care about me, it wasn’t evident or seen in the interaction that we had.

She was just using me to vent and that’s it.

After whatever happened to me, the way I reacted is normal.

I went through something really serious and traumatic after that, which I didn’t deserve to go through.

Even after that, I was continuously hurt by people close to me.

Not liking someone after the enormity of what I went through is normal.

Inspite of all this, I still reached out and asked for a clarification.

…..

If we had continued speaking and met outside and had a conversation on a personal level where I was comfortable enough to open up to her.

Then yes, I would have called her my friend.

If she had clarified when I called her after I was sexually assaulted by her colleague, then yes I would have continued speaking and built what we had and eventually we would have become friends.

…

But whatever we had was barely anything to call it a friendship.

To top it off, I went through enourmous pain because of whatever happened with that person.

Not liking her after that is normal.

But if she is saying she has love and care, she should have clarified and showed it to me when I reached out.

And when I would see that love obviously things would become better organically.

…

But the only thing I see is a lack of effort.

….

The whole world knows me and everyone connect with me on a personal level because I have been speaking about my personal life openly.

But people should be mindful about the fact that I do not know anyone on a personal level.

And for me to call someone my friend that person has to put in the effort to build the friendship.

…

Everyone in my community are my friends, yes. But I can be a friend only from a distance because I have limitations and problems.

I’m not like other famous people.

I’m sorry.

But I cannot do more than this.

I have spoken about everything and bared my soul in front of the world.

I have explained things multiple times, there’s nothing more that I can do apart from this.

I don’t know why people are refusing to see my POV.

….

Not liking someone after you’ve been betrayed is normal but that can be changed with love and care if there was something genuine there.

Sometimes I don’t like my mom, my therapist, my sister, dad and everyone close to me.

But we stick it out and the liking comes back organically because even there is no “like” sometimes, genuine love and care is still in the picture.

….