Note.

I’ve never been lucky to have good female friendships.

I went through tremendous amount of suffering and pain and I was kept under people’s foot like a doormat.

I was constantly used and abused and taken advantage of.

I went through a lot of pain when I was with them and even after I cut them off.

It took me a long long time to heal and come out of what happened and what they did.

Whenever I was in trauma because of what they did, I retaliated.

I begged them to block me as well because I told them I’m not that person. (you can check my messages)

They might have 100 friends who they are good to.

But to me they were abusive and I was kept under their foot and continuosly stamped.

Because I didn’t have self respect and self love and ego.

I was used.

Hence I cut them off.

If they miss me it’s because they didn’t find a replacement for a doormat.

I can’t go back because the memories are going to keep hitting me like waves if I do.

I do not have any good memories with them.

I’m well aware that I’m different and I have flaws but that has nothing to do with what happened.

Because everyone who speaks to me knows I’m good.

I understand what could be the misunderstanding and what isn’t.

Now that I have healed, I have forgiven them and I care about them as a human being.

I will be happy for them for their successes and life.

But I do not want them in my life because we aren’t compatible.

….

There are people in my life who has been good to me and I have good memories with them.

Sometimes we have our differences, but I ignore that and let things slide.

Because they were respectful and I have felt the love and care from them. Also, a connection.

….

Everyone are entitled to the decision of who they want to be friends with and whom they don’t, based on their experience with that individual.

People stop speaking to people who do them wrong all the time.

I’m not sure why I’m being forced and controlled and hurt this way.

…