rachana rajan <3

I have already spoken about everything, I don’t see why I’m being hurt like this.

I asked the waitress to take my picture and she told me all her life problems. It was overwhelming and I didn’t expect that.

But I didn’t undermine it and listened and empathized.

Even though I was going through something serious myself and didn’t have the mindspace to listen to someone’s problems that I do not know.

From the second time I spoke to her she constantly asked me to go to her house and meet her outside.

Which wasn’t right considering that I do not know her.

The only thing that was happening was her telling me her problems every time I went to the pub.

And her constantly asking me to meet her.

I forgot about the whole incident and even let it go because I have my own life and priorities.

I was pressurized to follow her on Instagram so I unfollowed after coming home because I need to feel a connection to follow someone.

They removed my favorite drink from the menu because of this reason when I went there again.

The waitress told me an expensive dish in the menu and said it’s really good, smiling the entire time.

Because she knew I didn’t have money and I went in the afternoon.

She was constantly forcing the friendship and using me to dump her problems and forcing me to meet her outside.

Because I wasn’t complying to whatever she was saying and her forcing, they were hurting me by removing things from the menu that I regularly ordered.

It was getting too much because I was going through something serious myself. I wanted to be alone, relax and work on my problems and her forcing was borderline abusive.

But I stayed quiet and low.

I spoke to her whenever she approached me and even helped her.

There was no friendship in the picture because we never had that kinda conversation and we never connected as well.

I have never felt comfortable enough to open up to her.

There was nothing between us.

I caved at one point and even tried to be friends by calling her on the phone 3-4 times (they were short calls) asking to meet whenever I was stepping outside.

But it didn’t happen, so I let it go.

But she did not let it go. She was constantly asking to meet.

I called her once when I was not okay and suicidal, she said she will call back but she never did.

Since whatever was happening wasn’t healthy and it was getting abusive.

I tried to remove myself from the situation by saying “I do not consider someone my friend easily because I don’t trust easily, that’s why I behaved the way I behaved. please don’t feel bad”.

The next time I went there is when the gaslighting and the sexual assault happened.

I was in a lot of trauma because of my parents and on top of that when she continuously stabbed me by smiling the entire time.

I couldn’t handle it and said, I do not want to speak to you right now.

She texted me saying sorry and I asked for clarification and she turned tables and spoke about my reaction to what she did.

I was sexually assaulted on top whatever she was doing.

I was in enourmous trauma.

I came home and called her asking for a clarification for what happened and she continuously gaslighted me again.

It got extremely abusive.

So I complained but I didn’t say the entire truth for her benifit.

I complained and asked for an apology. So she texted me saying sorry.

I was shaken because of what happened and there was nothing good between us to hold on to the relationship.

So I said you betrayed me. I do not want to speak to you. Please don’t text me.

After that I was forced again to speak to her by giving me a card when I went there.

I still hadn’t recovered from what happened.

So I complained to the operation manager, but I didn’t say the entire truth for her benifit.

The operation manager promised that everything will be fine when I go there.

But when I went there I was served bitter drink and I asked him why he did that.

He gaslighted me saying nothing is wrong with the drink.

So I got angry and said I came here because you promised you will be good to me.

I will be writing a review about my experience. (which I have heard a lot of people say when they aren’t treated right at a restaurant, even Ginny said that when we were on a date)

The manger screamed at me saying “get out of here”

I was going to faint, so I spoke the entire truth about her forcing herself in my life and I spoke about karma etc.

I was really angry and hurt.

I was having a panic attack, so I spoke about checkmate etc.

After I calmed down and things became better, I did apologize as well.

You can check my previous blogs.

…

Because the world pressurized and also because my therapist kept saying DM.

I assumed she wanted me to text her on DM.

So I asked for a clarification.

But she didn’t reply.

Because I was speaking the truth from day one.