rachana rajan <3

My anger because of what happened and what I faced is justified.

If I want to forgive or not is subjective and I do not wish to obsess over it, as I already mentioned.

So called friends’s inability to reach out and clear things, their lack of effort and lame excuses proves that we never had that kinda connection, rapport or friendship.

Which speaks the truth in itself that I was speaking the truth since day one, like I always do.

If someone cares and loves me, I need to see it because just words are meaningless.

Please walk the talk.

If someone doesn’t want to reach out, apologize and make things right, please let it go and move on.

Because I already have.

Don’t keep proclaiming love and affection and obsessing over this.

Because if there was love and affection, there would be action.

If there is no action, please stop cribbing and move on.

I treat people based on my personal experience with them and the energy I get from them.

Their looks, job, place in the society, bank balance etc doesn’t support this decision.

If they feel that these things are influencing my behaviour, it is their insecurities that is speaking because I definitely didn’t say or think it.

I do not wish to take responsibility for their insecurities. They should work on that themselves.

Even if the so called friends reach out and do say sorry, it is again upto me if I want to allow them in my life or no based on how I feel about the situation.

I place my peace of mind above all.

I’m not interested in giving people false labels, sugarcoating shit or faking it.

I can only do what I feel. I cannot betray myself.

Whom I allow in my life and close circle is entirely my decision based on my experience with them and the factors that I mentioned previously in my blogs.

I always keep things casual and light.

I tend to get attached only when I feel a connection or bond.

Also, I notice and observe a lot of things.

When I allow someone in my life our values should also align and a lot of other things which I spoke about multiple times.

I do love everyone and everything around me from a distance.

Everyone in my community are my friends from a distance, but it’s not humanly possible for me to accept everyone in my life.

I’m sorry that I cannot engage with everyone in a way that is expected.

I have my limitations and problems. I have too many problems compared to other famous people.

Hence I like my space and boundaries to be respected.

I have spoken about every single thing and I do know for a fact that everyone knows I’m innocent and speaking the truth as well.

I do not understand why people are committed to misunderstanding me and continuing to hurt me.

If it is for the benifit of the jokers, the world is being hypocritical. There is no other word to describe this behaviour.

Please don’t expect me to do something you cannot do yourself.

Also, after everything that I have been through and faced in life, I don’t deserve this shit.

People who are doing shit should know this.

Maybe they already do.

In which case the only thing I have to say is, God bless you.

Whatever people are doing is man made. I have peace in knowing that God will take care of everything.

I never asked anyone to give me a throne to rule the world and I do not want to be anyone’s God as well.

I’m not interested in these things.

I do not want to be gaslighted because gaslighting is harassment and psychological abuse.

Also, I want to be treated with respect. When I say respect I didn’t mean, calling me “mam”. I meant, respect as a human being.

I want to be treated with convention too because I worked hard to reach here and clear things.

I’m not interested in money or power and those sort as well.

I didn’t write this for that.

All I wanted to do was clear the misunderstandings and prove my innocence and sanity, that’s it.

And now it’s become this.

So yeah.

I’m accustomed to this life now. I’ve learnt how to navigate and do this properly.

So I will continue to do this till it feels right.