rachana rajan <3

I don’t have anger issues.

Whatever anger I had in the past was a normal reaction to the torture.

I’m normal now so I don’t really get angry. I haven’t been since I had that dream about God that I spoke about last year.

My mother kept stabbing me for a reaction so I used to shout, that’s it.

She stopped doing it thankfully.

I’m actually quite chill person.

I don’t identify with my past crazy self. That’s something I’m trying to forget as a bad dream.

I have been angry since two months because of whatever was happening which is again normal reaction but I have been trying to control it and channelize it in a healthy way.

Sometimes I shout when I speak to my therapist because I’m fed up of what’s happening.

It’s normal.

I’m handling it much better than anyone else in this world.

I don’t have multiple personality disorder if that’s what people are trying to imply.

It’s normal reaction to abnormal amount of BS that I faced.

…..

My real personality is who I am on my YouTube and when I speak to someone other than my family.

When I’m at home I used to be always depressed, lost and fucked.

Also, I was crazy because of the torture.

Things are better now because parents have changed and I feel good, so I’m okay these days and I’m able to be myself these days.

But not completely. It’s really hard but I just hold on like I always have.

I’m just waiting to move out so that I can finally be free.

I am my true self when I speak on YouTube.

It’s not a persona that I have created. That’s the real me.

I get depressed around my family, that’s it.

I’m not really myself in this house because of the aura but I try my best.

…..

Everything I’ve said about every single person is true.

I’m not being machevilean and shit.

I’m handling things much better than anyone else in this world can do.

Anyone else would have been dead or crazy.

…..

I’ve dated a lot but I wasn’t physical with everyone.

Only the men I was attracted to.

I was just exploring and shit.

Also, I always say no to sex.

I’ve never felt like it with anyone other than the people I mentioned.

I also said what happened with psycho divorcee.

I never felt anything for anyone I did things with. I was just so lost.

I felt things for chintu but it wasn’t serious.

I already spoke about Will.

I was sleeping my whole life till I met Ginny.

I casually dated after her, I did things with couple of men but we were keeping it casual and I was really depressed and suicidal.

I was trying to forget Ginny by doing that but it didn’t work because she was always on my mind.

I always say no to sex, btw.