rachana rajan <3

I do not understand what people are trying to do, tbh.

What is all this mind games?

And who is doing all this?

And what do people want from me?

Why the fuck are people doubting me even after saying all the fucking shit that happened?

This needs to stop.

Please put an end to this.

Whatever people want to know ask me and get it over with man.

This is bullshit.

What’s with the cat and black and white shit.

I’m literally so fed up.

….

Also, I know almost nothing about Ginny.

I don’t know if she is from money, I have no idea about her social place in the society or whatever it is.

I just know the things she has told me and we hardly spoke about anything related to these things.

You can ask her.

We were just speaking about random stuff.

I don’t know anything much about her.

Also, I don’t really care about the things I don’t know.

I’m okay with anything and I’m okay with taking a leap of faith because I feel strongly about her.

I haven’t felt this way about anyone else, so yeah.

….

Also, I have never copied the way Voldemort dresses.

She used to copy the way I studied. I helped her with that.

She used to copy things from me and I would too.

I learnt things from her.

I ghosted her for a year after she spoke to me in false empathy and whispered to me.

She kept texting me for a year.

I was becoming “very demure” and normal back then itself.

Voldemort didn’t like the change in me and when I confronted her.

All the shit happened.

And I think her ex was constantly speaking about me, that’s what started all this. That’s why she started spoiling my name.

She was trying to cut me off I believe but I didn’t understand it.

Back then I didn’t know when someone is hurting me, I should stop speaking.

I think she expected me to stop texting like the first time she did it.

I didn’t get it though.

I became crazy because she was torturing me and the other school friends were torturing me with her.

Everytime I said that I wasn’t able to handle it, she would stab me.

It’s like she wanted me to die?

I don’t know exactly what happened.

I just didn’t get it.

She made it look like I’m crazy, spoilt my reputation and manipulated the truth.

And then left me to die, like a hit and run accident.

Whatever I have understood about everything that happened to me, I have said.

…..

I do not understand why people are doubting me even now.

Even after baring my soul.

This is just too much to take at times.

I have been feeling suicidal since this started two months ago.

Ginny is like the only hope that’s kept me alive. She saved me in all ways a person can be saved. I heard this in a reel and it’s exactly how I feel.

And my therapist’s constant support. Also, Taylor Swift’s words.

They are God sent.

I don’t really expect anything to be honest.

The world placed all the hopes about Ginny in my head and now I’m waiting.

I’ve been waiting since the last time we met. So yeah.

And I love Taylor Swift from far.

I don’t think I have it in me to even speak to her. I don’t have the confidence.

I don’t know. I have never done it before. I get scared thinking about it.

I don’t know man.

I don’t know what’s happening.

……

Cage in search of a bird?

I don’t get it to be honest.

Cage means jail, I suppose? Because veer zaara?

I don’t know. And then all that stuff in Jawaan.

I don’t really know what happened or is happening.

It’s getting too much.

I haven’t done anything to go to jail. I have cleared all BS.

….

Also, I was never jealous of Voldemort.

I never feel jealousy.

I haven’t till now.

I have started disliking people in recent times, so I think after I grow up I will start feeling other emotions too.

I’m not sure though?

I had unconditional love for everyone for a long time.

Now I have stopped because I grew up.

Now I understand it should be only for my partner, so yeah.

Also, I didn’t have any intimate relationship with Voldemort.

She was my bestfriend. I was really close to her.

I’m not sure what people mean by intimate relationship.

…..

I’m so fed up of all this.