rachana rajan <3

When I look at the world, sometimes I feel the world is going crazy.

The whole problem with people these days is that they carry so much animosity towards each other.

It comes out at times in the form of bullying, sometimes it’s passive aggressive taunts, sometimes it’s in the form of jokes and so on.

People are constantly trying to win the conversation and trying to have a one upper in the conversation rather than looking at the problem itself.

Then there is this constant jealousy and insecurities that comes into the picture.

No, it’s not wrong to have these emotions.

I’m aware that these are normal human emotions even if I might not feel some of them, I am aware of them.

It is valid.

But bringing someone down and acting out these emotions, isn’t right or valid.

I feel the whole problem lies along these lines.

Also, the priorities are all wrong where people give importance to things which aren’t that important, if you look at it from a bigger picture.

…..

I feel the whole thing can be resolved if we think from a place of love always and have love in our hearts.

When we speak to people in a social setting, we need always have respect for the other person, love them but maintain a healthy distance and keep it casual. Help as much as we can.

Always try to see the good in people.

Also, not attach ourselves when it is casual.

If you can keep it casual in social settings, it can work wonders.

When we feel a sense of connection with the person and the relationship is built and we start feeling comfortable, then we can open up about things which is personal.

Get attached only when someone is close to you.

The thing is, whenever we get close to someone conflicts are bound to arise.

You really can’t avoid it, no.

It’s a part and parcel of having a close bond.

So just being mindful about whom you allow in your close circle matters.

It’s not that someone is good and the person whom you don’t allow in your circle is bad.

As I expressed before sometimes when we speak to people things don’t work.

Since it doesn’t work when we are closely held together, we should take a step back to maintain that love we have for them and love them from a distance to maintain the harmony.

It’s not possible for everyone to be close friends with everyone.

Everyone has their own close circle, communities and society.

But even in that, we should be able to maintain love for everyone from a distance, if not by being close.

There are obviously certain things that I look for like comfort level, understanding, empathy, does your values align, are they easy to talk to etc when I get close to someone.

I like to keep my life non problematic and peaceful.

So these things are important to me.

Because sometimes when I speak to people, I tend to get overwhelmed by them and start sweating and my body starts getting anxious.

Because as I said everyone isn’t for everyone.

What works for me might not work for you and vice versa.

Also, when I get close and conflicts come up.

How do they handle these conflicts.

This is crucial for me because I’m the kinda person who addresses conflicts and misunderstandings and places them on the table.

Do they put in the efforts to address them and maintain that love.

Or

• they avoid it altogether and feel it’s better to just end the friendship altogether than face the issue.

• they become defensive and talk about your reactions.

• they try to one up and bring up something totally irrelevant to the problem at hand.

• they try to defeat you because you called them out.

• they ignore you altogether and avoid the conversation and come back after a month and say hi and pretend the conversation never happened.

These bullet points comes from a place of ego and not love.

This is what I have observed in conversations I’ve had. There might be more.

Anyway, the point is.

See, when someone is your close friend and you love each other platonically.

Don’t think from a place of ego but from a place of love.

If they bring up something it means it’s bothering them, that’s why they are placing it on the table.

So just talk about it and be present in the conversation.

If you have hurt them, apologize.

If you have fucked up, it’s okay to say I fucked I’m sorry I care about you more than the problem at hand.

Expressing things this way can mend a lot of things.

We should always love people who are close to us and show that love.

People are more important than the problem.

It’s okay to let things slide with our people.

Is that thing that you are holding onto that happened in the past really that important than the person that you love?

No right?

It happened in the past.

When you find someone you care about and connect with, you should do something about it because it’s not always that you meet people like that in life.

People whom our souls connect with are rare to find. So keep them close and fight for them.

Don’t let ego come in between.

It’s okay to address the things that’s bothering them.

It’s also okay to let it slide sometimes if it doesn’t bother you and choose our battles to avoid silly conflicts.

…..

As for when we are keeping it casual while socialising, don’t hurt people intentionally for no reason.

Always maintain a harmonious flow.

Love them but keep a distance.

If it’s not working silently remove yourself from the situation.

That’s what I do.

You don’t have to defeat people or hurt them when it doesn’t work.

Just take a step back and understand everyone isn’t for everyone, that’s all.

Your value doesn’t decrease or increase by being with them.

You are valuable and precious.

And you should focus on finding your people who understands your soul better.

This is how the whole problems with friendship can resolve.

……

Also, about priorities.

Being the richest person in the room, number one in your field, winning awards, having luxury cars isn’t everything in life.

Yes, it matters to a certain extent but is it everything? no.

I feel having more money than required isn’t necessary.

We need money to live a comfortable life, that’s enough actually.

Also, spoil and pamper ourselves with things now and then, yes.

But more than that isn’t all that.

Does it even matter at the end of the day?

I feel love and family matters more to me.

Career is important too because we need money to live that comfortable life.

We need to have a passion in life as well. Passion for art, music, literature etc.

Also, constantly trying to chase things which aren’t worth it even necessary?

You need to get your priorities figured out.

…..

Also about the insecurities that people have about their looks and their flaws etc.

It all comes down to how the society functions.

Whatever I mentioned above, about maintaining love in conversations instead of attacking each other can solve some of it.

Because people’s insecurities starts with a bully calling them ugly or people constantly attacking them in conversations.

Children aren’t born with these insecurities.

It’s when they grow up and start realising things that all these feelings starts rising.

Also, no one really thinks about your insecurities as much as you do.

They are busy thinking about themselves or something that’s important to them.

The thing is how a person looks doesn’t matter.

As long as they have a personality that outshines their looks.

Just be confident in your self and understand yourself and your flaws.

Accept yourself and love yourself the way you are.

Know that you are amazing the way you are, flaws included.

Know and understand your worth.

Being confident in your skin.

Constantly working on yourself.

These things will help.

All these insecurities comes from how the society functions, as I mentioned.

That’s why I addressed how people speak.

Since people constantly attack each other in conversations.

People are always on an alert mode about their insecurities and ready for a fight.

They kinda have a negative mindset about their insecurities because of these experiences from the society.

Hence they tend to watch out for these cues in conversations.

In my case, I never mean it in a way that is negative.

But since people have already experienced so many negative biases in society, they see things negatively which is a default of the society in itself.

Also, the negative self talks adds to all these.

So to break these insecurities first we need to break the cycle of how the society is functioning and start loving each other from a distance.

And every thing I mentioned above about maintaining harmony in social settings.

The next thing and the most important thing is to, work on ourselves and learn to be confident in our skin, as I previously mentioned above and previously in my blogs.

And break the negative self talks and instead make the self talks more affirmative in a positive way and loving and gentle.

This starts by loving yourself and your mind.

Breaking those thought patterns that goes on in your mind and filling your mind with good and interesting things instead.

Even if we do fall into a negative mindset now and then which is normal, learn to switch up.

It’s all about how you speak to yourself and how you see yourself.

You are valuable and you have so much good in you.

And your constantly working on the not good parts.

You are trying.

These are some of the affirmatives.

Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and have grace.

Be modest.

Also, be mindful about your close circle.

As I mentioned previously, someone’s definition of you is not a definite defination.

If you think you need to work on a particular aspect about yourself then it’s upto you to change the narrative and do it.

……

Most importantly,

Please get up from the fucking dirty road of the accident.

And keep moving in life.

Don’t stay stuck on a thing like with glue.

Shit happens and it’s going to keep happening.

But at the end of the day, it is upto you if you want to keep sitting in the mud or do something about it.

….