rachana rajan <3

Every single thing I’ve written here is the truth 100%.

People have constantly tried to bring me down my whole life and thrown mud on my name.

Staring with Voldemort.

Because they were jealous and I’m in the public eye.

A lot of people wanted attention.

People wanted perks and glory, so they try to create beef to get a reaction from me and the world would give them that.

They fake undying love and affection to save face in front of the world but in reality there would be nothing as such between us.

I’ve already spoken about everything.

…

Meeting Ginny and falling in love with her changed my life.

Losing her two years ago was what gave me the strength to fight.

I kept fighting because my life depended on it.

There was immense manipulations and BS.

I knew I was innocent and I have done everything to show that to the world as well and clear things.

I don’t know why people are thinking I’m acting, I don’t know if it’s based on the conversation I had with my therapist.

I don’t know how to frame sentences so I fuck up when I speak and use the wrong words.

Also with my therapist I go through a range of emotions and trauma while speaking.

Sometimes I loose track of what I say.

I’m not fucking acting.

I always speak the truth and I have said everything as it is.

….

Also, I have never competed with my sister.

Growing up my sister was the one who was competitive.

She wanted everything equally and if she didn’t get it, she used to throw the food and smear the chicken on my face.

She and father used to fight every day till she got married.

She would scream everyday.

She used to fight with me too.

She never respected me.

After she got married, she abandoned me.

I reached out to her so many times when parents were torturing me and when father was sexually assaulting me.

She never cared or did anything.

She would fake love towards me in front of her husband and behind his back she would abuse and disrespect me.

I used to constantly shout at her and send angry messages because of her lack of care. Also, I was crazy because of the abnormal torture.

These days things are fine and we have mutual respect, I think it’s because of proving myself.

But yes, she is better than my parents.

My parents have changed now too.

I have forgiven them but I don’t trust blindly.

I will be able to love and appreciate them better if there is some distance between us.

…..

I have gone my whole life and no one saw me, until Ginny.

Then my therapist.

Will too.

With them respect and love was always on the table.

Even though I was crazy.

That’s why they are important to me. Because I value people who sit with me and love me in the mud and storm.

Taylor Swift is important too because she has always been there without her realising it.

And she even stood by me when people wanted me dead, I will never forget that.

I always look up to her and learn from her.

People see me now because I have proved myself and I’m successful.

I’m also normal.

But I care and value people who were there when no one else was.

That’s just how I am.

I’m open to meeting people now too. But I take my time because of my past experiences.

I’m mindful and I take a lot of time.

…..

For now,

Please keep me safe.

I’m just waiting to move out of this house and waiting for what I asked for.