Note.

I didn’t know people wanted me dead in the past, each time that it happened.

I was kinda minding my own business and in my own zone and world.

No one said anything to me and nothing really made sense.

I didn’t understand a lot of things.

I knew things and I didn’t know things at the same time.

It’s strange how that works but it was true for me.

I did say things in whatever words I could form back then based on my understanding at that time.

But no one listened or even sat down with me and showed enough empathy to ask what happened.

I guess things had to happen this way itself.

Because I didn’t know to speak a decade ago or even form an understanding.

And even 7 years ago when whatever happened.

So I would not have had the ability to prove myself back then.

Now I know how to speak and I learnt a lot of things along the way and have an understanding as well.

Also, all my questions were also answered and I know what exactly happened.

Hence I was able to prove myself these last 2.5 years

I faced ginormous pain my whole life and I’m saying things had to happen this way.

I know it doesn’t really make sense to the person reading this.

I say it this way because saying it any other way doesn’t make sense at all, this is the only way that it makes sense to me.

Also, I can’t change what happened and nothing can be done about it either.

Other than moving forward, since I came out of it finally and we fixed it together.

My life and me.

So I should focus on now and tomorrow and not look back.

Sometimes I do cry when I’m alone and it’s not easy.

I try not to stay stuck though.

And say to myself, things are fine now.

Even if I’m not completely happy. I am kinda you know the normal amount of happy and peaceful.

I know today I’m successful. Tomorrow there might be someone else and the world will move on.

I’m fine with that.

When I get what I asked for, I might stay under my invisibility cloak and disappear from the face of earth.

No, I’m kidding.

Maybe not.

I’m also aware that problems never disappear.

But since I’m skilled at handling them now and know how to navigate this crazy mad beautiful thing called life.

I’m hoping I’ll be fine.

Even if I might not be fine, eventually I might be.

No one knows what will happen and I’m simply ruminating.

Anyway.