Note.

The weather has changed and it’s getting warmer.

So I have to start wearing shorts again.

I’m okay as long as I’m inside my room.

But I go into trauma every time I step out of the room because father will stare at me like a ruthless vulture.

Like he has done my entire adult life.

I still go into trauma every time I step outside this room.

Or even think about stepping out.

My body goes into alert.

I don’t understand what exactly I’m waiting for and why I’m begging everyday for my own money when I’m already successful.

When I can easily get out of this hellish situation.

I’ve already proved myself too.

I don’t understand why people are pulling it too far negatively when the truth is already in front of them.

I don’t understand why I’m being taunted every time I read a book by the words like velvet smooth etc and even online.

I’ve already fucking proved myself.

I’ve been speaking the truth since day one, but no one listened or even sat down and asked.

And now that the truth is finally out and I fought to prove it, people are apparently calling me smooth.

Because I’m not dead and I’m smart enough to prove myself and no one else in this world can do what I did.

I don’t understand what the fuck is even this.

How long will this be dragged for no reason whatsoever?

You should question the people in question because I’ve already proved my part.

I don’t know what exactly I’m waiting for though.

….

People get attracted to me, I don’t.

I’m least interested.

People don’t know how to behave around me.

I’ll be just me. Friendly, sweet and empathetic.

Everyone always likes me, it’s not my fucking fault.

They are projecting their feelings onto me when there is nothing from my end.

I’ve been clear about my romantic likings and sexuality.

….

I didn’t understand the song by kendrick that won the Grammy.

I see dude with sign wearing flannel and talking about Drake.

I remember reading about Kendrick and Drake.

I didn’t quite get the whole feud, if it is being directed at me considering the flannel.

….