rachana rajan <3

I’ve already proved myself enough.

Everyone in this world clearly knows that I’m innocent.

Please for the love of God stop taunting and triggering me through books.

Stop over using the word “smooth” and hurting me for my reactions etc.

I’m losing the interest to read and that’s one thing that I like doing.

If this continues any further,

I will delete my good reads and audible and throw my books and stop reading forever.

Because I’m unable to take it anymore.

I’m feeling extremely suicidal and I’m at the edge of my rope.

…..

Mother is extremely manipulative.

She wasn’t crying that day because I said she’s slightly off in the head.

She was crying because I openly said that she was verbally abusing the children.

Whatever I say to my parents is a reaction to years and years of abuse that I faced because of them.

I’m doing my best and most importantly, I don’t start anything.

Mother was psychologically assualting me that day and putting on theatrics, she hurt me so I reacted.

And I was hurt for my reaction in the book I was reading.

I always get hurt twice, always.

….

It’s extremely hard to live with parents after what happened and I’m just waiting to move out, that’s all.

So please stop interfering and hurting me for my reactions at least now.

This has been going on my whole life.

Whatever has happened has happened.

Atleast going forward,

Please stop hurting me for my reactions based on someone else’s manipulations, lies and evil and what not.

Also, I don’t call or find anyone ugly.

People were blaming me for liking their disgusting creepy faces because things didn’t go their way or they are bitter and jealous and they want to bring me down.

So I retaliated, that’s all.

I don’t start anything neither do I blame anyone for liking me.

So please stop indirectly taunting me saying ugly, rat etc.

….

Also,

I don’t remember any of the books I DNFed in the past.

I had a lot of books in the old house and everything was in a bad condition because I didn’t maintain it.

So I gave away all those books and also the duplicate version of the books.

Few of the books triggered me in the past so I added it to my dnf shelf in Goodreads so that I can read it later.

I was in a lot of trauma in the past, I don’t need to explain why.

This is all that happened.

Also, the dnf YouTube video, I was copying other youtubers. Most of it wasn’t my words.

I was a newbie and I didn’t know the world was watching.

So please stop taunting me based on this as well.

I have spoken about everything.

I always say there is no such thing as a bad book.

…..

Please stop taunting me and attacking me atleast now.

Please just stop.

I don’t think I can take it anymore.

I really can’t.

….

Please stop watching everything that I do so closely by invading in space and assuming shit based on it.

And hurting me for it.

Some people are just sitting at the edge of their seats. Everytime I do something or say something they are just waiting to defy me and throw it on my face.

They are extremely hypocrical to be honest.

Because I’m sure there are millions of things that they dislike themselves.

But apparently I’m not allowed to do the same.

…..