Dear Dairy.

My throat still feels weird at times when I eat certain food that doesn’t suit me.

I feel better after an hour or so.

But sucks that I haven’t completely recovered.

I’m okay otherwise though.

I’m grateful for that, considering I almost died because of my throat last year.

My stamina still sucks sometimes because of the scrutiny that I had to endure, up until recently.

I’m pushing through by eating healthy, moving my body daily and lots of recharging.

I stopped reading few days ago.

I’m itching to pick up a book, but trying my best to stay away and stick to my decision of not reading until my books are fixed.

I have to be resolute, if I want things to be done which is right by me.

I don’t want to be attacked through books again.

Ever again.

I’ve come a long way from when I started writing here.

I’m happy I was able to fix my life and grateful everyday for the help that I received.

I can die peacefully now.

But I really don’t want to die now because I want to be with Ginny.

I still have my insecurities when I think about the next chapter of my life.

So many thoughts, foreign feelings and how will it bes.

But I have this feeling that it’s going to be alright.

Seeing her again is the only thought that kept me going these last few months, when I was walking through the fire.

I couldn’t wait or bear this stupid distance, so I kept fighting to reduce the distance and end this sooner.

I keep thinking about hugging her. I’m almost certain that’s what heaven feels like.

For now, I get restless and I hug my comforter and imagine it to be her.

I imagine sitting on her lap.

Placing my head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat, being all warm and cozy and going to sleep.

There’s nothing in this world that I want more than this.

Literally nothing.

This thought is like a pond when I’m lost in the desert in the scorching heat.

Not even a pot of gold can beat that.

The mirage of the pond is all that’s keeping me going.

Even when my body is going to fail in the battlefield.