Note.

When Bellatrix did whatever he did, I was so fucked.

I broke badly.

I kept crying for a really really long time.

I was also continuously sexually assaulted by the public.

I didn’t know what was happening, I was a child.

I didn’t know what was rape and sexual assault back then.

All I knew was that people kept hurting me.

I was fucked beyond repair in my head.

I kept crying.

Even now I don’t understand what Bellatrix got out of doing whatever he did.

Like what was the point of it all?

I don’t understand it.

I will never understand it.

After psycho divorcee forced me to say yes to having sex the first time,

we had sex 4 times with consent because he said he would marry me.

I was so innocent back then.

When I started dating initially I wanted to get married badly.

So I said yes to a lot of jokers and dated them.

I had zero experience.

After I gained maturity I made better choices.

But back then I was stupid.

He did a lot of shit in bed and I hated it.

I was suffering.

I don’t understand what he got out of it.

Because whatever we did sucked big time.

I hated it.

Even the 4 times with consent was bad and it sucked.

I think it’s because he sucked in bed and I was not turned on.

Anyway.

I don’t understand the point.