Note.

Bellatrix ruined sex for me.

After whatever happened with him, I kinda had an aversion towards it.

I was a child.

I always thought something was wrong with me.

Because I was dead down there.

I was pretty much convinced that I’m asexual.

Then I met Will.

And I was like okay there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just demisexual.

My heart has to feel for my vagina to feel.

I would not react at all when Bellatrix did whatever he was doing.

I would look at him blankly and cry on the bus and at home afterwards.

Bellatrix kept taunting me saying it’s because I was a lesbian.

But the truth is that I was not attracted to him.

I was dead inside.

When I did stuff with the guy with a ugly dick, I would stare blankly at the door and it pissed him off.

After that I faked it.

I was so dead.

Then I met Ginny and I woke up from sleep.