Note.

I know friendship is not a favour for favour.

It’s kinda hard to explain.

You know how in the hunger games Katniss remembers Peeta giving her the loaf of bread?

Also,

the tribute from district 11 doesn’t kill Katniss towards the end of book one because she was there for Rue and he says “for Rue”.

It’s kinda like that.

When you don’t have money and everyone is cruel to you,

you’ll remember everyone who is kind and helps you.

Because it’s rare.

She gave me something to eat when I was hungry.

She gave it forcefully even when I kept saying no.

She was desperate to meet me and be friends.

So I returned the favour halfheartedly.

But she wasn’t a good person, it was a performance.

My heart was never there because her energy was off since day one.

I was constantly pushing her.

It didn’t feel right.

Now I and you know why.

I know friendship isn’t returning favours or keeping count of it.

It’s just this.

That’s it.