rachana rajan <3

I didn’t know the world knew me till I watched Jawaan.

My therapist told me a lot of things as well. You can ask her.

Also, I saw many things online.

You cannot doubt me for this because it wasn’t my fucking idea to involve the whole world in my life.

I’m good at adapting and I’m good at a lot of things which everyone is clearly aware of.

So I persisted.

I was busy fighting till now.

So I didn’t have time to process the betrayal and a lot of other things that were happening.

My only goal was to finish writing everything.

I kept adapting and focused on that.

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I didn’t know the law was involved. Once I got to know that, I started giving proof.

I’ve already given more than enough valid and legit proofs.

I’ve already proved myself more than enough.

I’ve cleared every single miniscule thing with solid proofs.

Taunting me now is unnecessary and beyond cruel.

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If people were so interested in my personal life, they could have just fucking asked me.

I don’t speak about my personal life to anyone, no one knows what I’ve written here the last 3 years.

I went through insurmountable pain and suffering and I was crazy for a decade.

I was made to question my own sanity for a decade.

I didn’t know how to speak for a long time and I was retarded.

I didn’t know why people were hurting me as well.

I didn’t know the meaning of betrayal, rape, sexual assault etc.

Hence I didn’t understand what was happening when it was happening.

I kept crying continuously for a decade.

This is not a life anyone would choose.

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I didn’t know what was happening my whole life.

I kept asking Dumbledore why people are speaking to me that way.

When Nikita Metha told me why people are speaking that way.

Everything clicked and I kept writing as though I was possessed.

Because only I knew the truth.

But I was going to die of anger. I kept shouting at my mother.

When I was going to die of anger, I prayed to God and begged Him to help me.

I had a dream about God telling me my mother didn’t do anything.

After that my anger vanished.

After that I knew my mother was misunderstanding me.

I just wanted to finish telling my story.

That’s it.

That was my only goal.

I had a vague idea of what I wanted to write. But most of it was impromptu and real time.

But I fell sick and my life was going down the rabbit hole.

Then Ginny fell in love with me and my life took a U turn.

If it wasn’t for Ginny, I would have died in 2023 itself.

After that my health started improving and I got the strength to fight because of her and finish my story.

When Ginny said that she wants to marry me and things worked out for me and my throat was fixed.

I felt that’s it. It’s done.

Whatever I wrote here after that was impromptu and real time because I didn’t see it coming.

So you can clearly understand I’m good at what I do.

I wanted to be with her and knowing that she wants it too gave me the strength to fight and hold on.

After that point, I was fighting for her.

I kept fighting because only I knew the truth and I was desperate to say it.

Now I’ve said it.

I’ve already said everything that’s crucial and important.

I cannot do anything more than this.

You cannot say, “It was always a design cause I’m a mastermind” because this isn’t a life anyone would choose.

I don’t understand why anyone would doubt me after every single thing that happened to me.

I’ve already explained why I used the word checkmate.

I’ve used so many positive sentences in that blog. I don’t understand why people are sticking to only that one single word.

It’s just an analogy. I always use fancy words.

I’ve used so many analogies in these 4k blogs and you’re sticking to only this.

Also, I’m not the one playing the game.

I’m just ending it.