Note.

I was mostly in bed today, cuddled up in my comforter listening to Under the tree by Ed Sheeran.

I cried half the time thinking about what I will say to Ginny when I meet her.

I honestly don’t know how to say or what to say or even where to begin.

I just cry when I think about it.

There’s rashes on both my hands and I pee erratically sometimes.

One of my teeth is acting up too.

I’m sick and beyond fed up.

I feel unattractive and like a lump.

I’m not the same person I was when we were dating 3 years ago.

So much has happened.

So much has changed.

I’m not as hot.

I’ve lost my innocence.

I’ve grown so much.

I’m normal now.

I understand things.

She must have changed and grown too.

Will she like me when we meet?

I don’t know.

I’m scared one day she will stop liking me.

Because look at her.

I’m just.

me.

This semi functional lump with running nose and tired watery eyes who is refusing to do life and prefers being under this blanket forever.

Yes.

Even on Christmas.