rachana rajan <3

When I was at 46 ounces few months ago, I turned my head and looked at a woman 2-3 times because she looked like someone I know and I was trying to place her.

I was alone so I didn’t tell this to anyone and also, I don’t know what’s happening but I feel people keep track of everything I do. So I’m just putting things here.

..

I asked Surya if she was still breast feeding her baby because I was curious to know till what age people breast feed, I was thinking about having kids back then and I was just curious.

Also, it is my mistake because I always used to consider people as my good friend and ask and share things with them, but it was never mutual.

Also, I realize people almost never have good intentions for me.

So I don’t trust easily these days and I have stopped considering everyone as friends.

Friendship takes time and effort, only people who are worth it stay in my life these days.

I’m selfish on who deserves my selfless love these days.

..

I watched porn growing up because I was just wanted to understand things.

I never really enjoyed it and found it scary. I haven’t watched it more than 10 seconds each time because it gets too much.

I tried to enjoy it at one point because of the men I used to date but never did.

Also, there was no Netflix back then.

..

For a long time I didn’t know there were things beyond kissing.

I used to even think women get pregnant by kissing for a long time.

Even after I was raped I didn’t understand what happened for a long time.

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I’m not attracted to women in real life and I’m straight since almost one and half years, I’m repeating again for the message to sink in.

Also I’m not attracted to every tom dick and harry.

Even if the woman or the man is really attractive to look at, it’s not necessary that I should be attracted to them.

My vagina is always dead, I can’t be more blatant than this, the irony of what happened to me is tragic.

..