I’m mentally, physically and psychologically exhausted.
I don’t feel very good.
Also I have period cramps.
I don’t know how I’m holding on.
I’m really tired.
I was thinking about the time I was going to die 2 years ago.
I’ve been fighting ever since.
Without any rest.
My nieces are so active.
They were giving mom a hard time today.
I said to mom that I don’t know how she does it.
She told me she has gone through worse.
When my sister and I were growing up.
In that tiny house.
With no one to help her.
She raised us alone.
She also had to cook and clean in that tiny house and take care of everything.
Alone.
She started to cry when she said that.
I feel so sorry for her.
Father was at work and when he would come home.
He would not really help.
He suffered a lot too.
He was the only one earning and also faced problems at work and everything else.
He also had anger issues throughout his life.
He would take it out on us.
Especially mom.
He has hit all of us.
Mom suffered the most.
He did it even recently.
I have written about it.
Mom talks about how much he has gone through in life and how he takes care of us all.
When I bring up the violence.
But his suffering is not an excuse for his behaviour.
Because all of us have had more than our fair share of suffering.
I feel so sorry for mom.
Dad has changed drastically now.
But not completely.
Anger issues still resurfaces at times.
It’s never gonna go completely.
In a way, I feel sorry for dad too.
When I think about what he has gone through in life.
I wish this would get over soon.
So that I can give them a comfortable life in their old age.
I don’t want them to worry about money.
We have gone through hell our whole life.
Whatever happened with Voldemort made it worse.
rachana rajan <3 