My cousin and husband had come home today.
To meet my parents and nieces.
She wanted to meet me.
But I closed the door and stayed inside till they left.
The storm raging in my head is so heavy.
I’m not in the mindspace to socialize.
I’m not in the mood to answer gaslighting questions.
So I didn’t meet them.
She texted me. I tried to explain.
She understood.
I started feeling guilty.
Because saying no makes me feel guilty.
My mom was upset and got emotional.
She is a chronic people pleaser.
So my behaviour made her uncomfortable.
I started feeling guilty again.
But then I’m happy that I chose myself and my peace.
P.S.
My cousin and I aren’t close.
I’m not really close to my relatives.
We barely speak.
We don’t really have a relationship.
So it’s okay.
rachana rajan <3 