How people treat me now when I’m helpless and vulnerable.
Tells me everything that I need to know about the friendship/relationship.
More than how people treat me under normal circumstances.
This is the true test of loyalty.
I don’t accept people in my life easily.
I put them through multiple tests.
I do it silently.
I study, observe, notice every single thing.
More than what people realise.
People in my close circle are in my close circle for a reason.
Ginny is “the one” for a reason.
It’s not a random decision.
It’s well thought.
I’m extremely picky when it comes to my romantic likings.
I’m the same with friendships too.
The thing about connections is that.
It is so rare.
It doesn’t happen often.
Not with me at least.
I don’t feel it.
Because I have my parents, sister and nieces.
I don’t feel lonely.
Also. I have my therapist.
I’m waiting for Ginny.
Her memories are enough for me to last a lifetime while I wait.
My heart just oozed out warmth when I wrote the previous sentence.
Anyway.
As I was saying.
I’m mindful about who has access to me.
I value my peace of mind and harmony more than anything else.
I don’t feel lonely because I have my close circle.
Also.
I have my community.
I just speak to you when I have something to say.
I miss Will sometimes. (as my friend)
But he isn’t speaking to me.
I was hit with an avalanche of emotions last night and sent him text messages saying sorry.
I don’t think he’ll respond.
But I sent them anyway.
I don’t know.
Good Night.
I love you all.
x
rachana rajan <3 