There’s a colleague whom I started speaking to in my cab in 2019.
Her name is Nisha S.
She works at the HR department.
We exchanged numbers.
We would text casually sometimes.
She gave me something to eat in the cab once because I was really hungry that day.
We weren’t really close.
We never opened up to each other.
Our conversations were always surface level.
She was nice to me though.
We lost touch after a year.
I don’t remember how.
I remember she invited me to her wedding.
But I was going through a lot because of whatever was happening in my life.
I was busy fighting.
So I didn’t go.
We started speaking again in 2023.
We spoke a few times on the call.
It was going fine.
The thing with Nisha is that.
She’s always speaking about herself and her life and her things.
She never really asks me a single question.
I don’t know why.
Maybe she didn’t want to pry.
Maybe she expected me to just talk?
idk.
She doesn’t ask me how I’m doing and about my life.
The conversations were always one sided and surface level.
It was fine because she was always nice to me.
She doesn’t trauma dump or complain.
They were casual conversations.
She is a nice person.
But there was no connection or actual friendship between us.
I tried being friends.
I asked her if she wanted to meet 2 times.
But she was busy with her work and husband.
Also.
I was the one who was always initiating the conversations.
It just didn’t click.
I asked her why she never initiates conversations.
She said she doesn’t.
But if I text her, she’ll reply.
So I stopped reaching out.
And it died after that.
One day in 2023.
There was so much shit happening.
I couldn’t handle it.
Everyone was suddenly showing me their boobs.
Everyone all at once.
My mom, sister, Rachel Catherine, Steph Bohrer.
I was mentally fucked.
I didn’t understand why they were doing that all at once.
Also most importantly.
I wasn’t interested.
So I called Nisha to distract myself by listening to her life story.
She tried to lure me too.
She suddenly said out of the blue.
She had just taken a bath and she’s not wearing anything.
She repeated it 3 times.
I ended the call after a few minutes.
I got triggered badly.
So I deleted her number and retaliated on Instagram.
I texted.
“You are so fucking ugly I’m not interested in you. Stop trying to lure me.”
I don’t remember exactly what I said.
(You can check my DM to Nisha S.)
But I said something like this.
After that it was over.
rachana rajan <3 