I go through intense emotions sometimes.
Because of waiting this way.
Without any answers.
The constant taunting and questioning.
Also.
I’ve still not completely recovered from whatever the aggressive stalker did to me.
I go through immense trauma, anger and intense suicidal feelings even now.
Whenever I see him in the apartment.
It multiplies.
Sometimes I start to scream.
Sometimes it’s too much to handle.
This morning.
Mother said something and I snapped at her.
Later I told her.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m going through too much right now. That’s why I got angry.”
Father started muttering under his breath.
I asked him, “what are you saying”.
He said, “what problems can you possibly have”.
I got triggered and screamed at him.
I said.
“Can you stop acting?
You know exactly what I’m going through. Please don’t add to my problems”.
He said, he was joking.
I was screaming in my room a bit later.
Mom suddenly came inside and said.
“why are you suddenly screaming when you are sitting simply?”
I completely lost it.
I started screaming.
I said.
“I already have too many problems. I’m suffering here.
You know exactly what I’m going through.
Please stop acting”.
I continued screaming for a few minutes.
Mom started crying and said.
She’s sorry. She was wrong.
She won’t ask such questions again.
Father said, “stop screaming.”
I said, “I’m not screaming. I’m reacting.”
Mom was silent the whole day today.
I was fucked too.
