Maybe Nikita was right.
I was overreacting.
idk.
But I had so much trauma from our previous interactions.
She never reciprocated my efforts.
She was flaky.
She ghosted me frequently and blocked me a few times.
She unblocked me after being blocked for 3 years.
On top of that the intentional and unnecessary gaslighting.
When I questioned her about it.
She stretched it too far.
Yes, she was good and helpful whenever we spoke.
But the former points cannot be ignored.
Hence I addressed the elephant.
Because the elephant cannot be ignored.
No.
Now that I listed out everything that was wrong in the friendship.
I don’t think I overreacted.
No.
Also.
Her response when I spoke about the hurt was a brutal punch.
My hands started to shake literally.
When I typed the reply and blocked her.
I was shaking.
I guess I’m just processing what happened by writing about it.
My reactions were normal.
I know I did the right thing.
I wish we could have been friends.
I wish she didn’t respond the way she did to my hurt.
Because I like her as a friend.
I wanted to be friends.
But I guess both of us have to be on the same page for it to work.
I could not ignore the elephant and pretend everything is okay and talk to her.
Because the elephant was gnawing at my insides.
I had to let it out and acknowledge its existence.
Otherwise I would cease to exist.
It would be someone else who isn’t me.
Who isn’t truthful.
Who isn’t respecting herself and the relationship.
I cannot do that to myself.
I cannot betray myself.
