rachana rajan <3

Platonically I have love and respect in me for everyone as a part of my community and society from a distance. Based on my personal first hand experience with people, I hate, love, like, dislike, despise, loath etc.

Honestly, out of all the experiences I’ve had in my life. I like men more than women. I mean romantically. I’ve experienced “speaking” to women when I was bisexual 3 years ago, I didn’t enjoy it at all. And also the way women have been behaving after I came out, even after being extremely clear…

There was a NRI woman who liked me 3 years ago when I was bisexual. I found her attractive too. We were speaking and decided to meet. I was exploring my sexuality back then and even considered giving it a go and meeting her. I wanted to experience going out on a date with a…

I have so many problems. I can’t do a lot of things that others can. After whatever happened, I’m scared of my safety. Please keep me safe. There are so many crazy people and creepy fans out there. I’m so traumatized.

I don’t think she smelled like garbage. I’m sorry I said that in anger. She did look disgusting like garbage though. I’ve been so angry. She was just a random person in a random restaurant and she caused so much drama and trauma.

When a woman is straight, she will not like every tom dick and harry who comes her way. The same way, just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I will like every single woman I see. Also, I’m a woman of class. My standards are really high. I’m extremely picky when it comes to my romantic…

We’ve been speaking about this person since last year august. It’s september 1st today. This person is not even worth my time and energy. And I wasted one year of my life speaking about this person. Do you even understand what I’m going through? Please put an end to this.

Pettigrew is disgusting, filthy, creepy and psychopathic. She looks like garbage and smells like rotten eggs. She used to look at me with her mouth open and eyes bulging out of her sockets. She used to keep looking at me and force me like a psycho. She was behaving vulgar and lusting and forcing. She…

I have already spoken about biting the inner part of my lips to control my anger multiple times in my blog since last year august. Please check below. I press my lips together and bite the inner part of my lips. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note.

I have spoken about every single miniscule thing, cleared and proved it. I have given valid and legit proofs for every single thing. I’ve already proved my innocence. Prolonging this any further than this is unnecessary and ridiculous. Calling me smooth now doesn’t make sense. Neither does questioning me about things that’s already cleared and…

As long as I exist in this reality shit will continue forever. You need to understand this. I’ve spoken about every single thing and explained it. I have explained how people behave and whatever they do and their games. I know how to navigate this life now and I have been clear about my boundaries.…

I’ve been getting negative thoughts since I was betrayed. Everytime I was betrayed in the past I’ve had negative thoughts. I feel like stamping them and slapping and hitting and pushing them from the edge of the cliff. etc. But I don’t materialize my negative thoughts. I control my anger and try to heal it.…

Whatever happened last year august was extremely cruel, scrutinizing and inhumanly barbaric. But it was happening indirectly. If it was direct, I could scream, shout and question people. But it was happening indirectly. I was being tortured indirectly. Do you see how inhuman that is? So I was reacting to what was happening. My tongue…

People have advised me to die as well. Which again, I didn’t listen to. Now I’m normal and I proved my innocence. So yeah. I don’t really take anyone’s advice. I listen and I do whatever feels right to me. Whenever it’s time to go from here, I will go peacefully and welcome death like…

When Ginny left me 3 years ago, everyone asked me to move on. Every single person I spoke to. People have been asking me to move on these last 3 years. Till last year august. Up until she said she wants to marry me. I didn’t move on because I was in love with her.…

I’m sorry I keep repeating the same things. I’m so fed up. 🫤

I want justice for every single thing that happened to me. Every single fucking thing. Starting from prison school to Pettigrew and his flying monkeys. I’ve spoken about every single miniscule thing. I want justice!

Whatever I went through my whole life because I’m bisexual will go down in history for the inhuman barbaric atrocities. And the narrow minded bullshit filthy minds of people around me.

If you take what the glambots influencer does out of context it becomes, he slides his eyes on the bodies of celebrities from top to bottom and says “i love you” Do you see how the meaning changes? Do you see how ridiculous this whole thing is? I was tortured inhumanly for one whole fucking…

There’s an influencer on Instagram who does glambots. When he speaks to the celebrities, he looks at their “dress” from top to bottom and compliments them saying, “you look beautiful” “i love the dress” etc. Which is the context. You can check his instagram. He literally looks from top to bottom contextually. Every single person…

Hello, I’ve been thinking about retiring once this is over and dusted. But I always have so many thoughts in my head and no where for it to go. So I’ve decided to do Dear Diary entries on my Substack app. No, they won’t be fanfiction. I won’t be writing every single thought like I’ve…

I think I was not wearing my glasses when I was at the crochet class. I can’t see without my glasses. I was not wearing my glasses during that incident with Pettigrew as well. That’s why I looked at her sleeve to check the color because I couldn’t see it from afar. I was not…

I’ve already proved myself long ago. The truth is out long ago. Can you please change my books back to their original content so that I can start reading again. I’m losing it waiting this way. I want to at least read my books so that I can keep myself occupied while I wait.

I went out on a date with a guy around starting of 2023. He is a photographer. My brother in law follows him on Instagram. I forgot his name. I followed him on Instagram briefly. You can find out this information from my Instagram data and check if my brother in law follows him. He…

Most of the villains in my life whom I spoke about here have dark triad personality types. They are monsters who lack empathy and remorse. Actual psychopaths.

I don’t want to live in this house with that man in this invisible double life anymore. I see that bloody aggressive stalker every time I go out for walks. I don’t have money for anything. I’m tired of waiting this way. I’m extremely suicidal and literally I’m losing it. Can someone please tell me…

Can someone please respect me enough to answer me? What am I waiting for? Please just tell me!!!! I’m literally losing it.

Can someone please tell me what’s going on? What the fuck am I waiting for this way?

What the fuck is going on? The truth is already out long ago. What’s happening? Why are people using the words monster, aggressive, psychopath positively online? What’s going on? what are you trying to do? What kinda mind game is this? I hear the word flick and even see the sliding of eyes even now.…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

There was so much BS because of Voldemort and the death eaters. So they did whatever they did to me. Because they are old now and it was because of misunderstandings, I have forgiven them for the past. I have my moments of relapses. But it’s less as the days go by. No one is…

Father is from the older generation of patriarchal malayali men, hence he was the way he was. Patriarchy is the norm in older generations of malayali households. The men with moustaches who wear lungi and dominate their wives. He is from that period and so is mother. They did their best with the knowledge and…

When I say I prefer something a certain way than the other, which is a personal preference. Some people online personalize what I say and go, “see see I like doing it.” They don’t do it because they like doing it. Nah. They do it because I said I prefer something else to that. There’s…

Rachel Catherine keeps saying in her videos that she has studied psychology and she likes observing people to find out why they are the way they are. She should probably look inwards and do some work there. Also, look at a dictionary to understand the meaning of the word platonically. If you throw shade at…

After reading the first few chapters of Powerless by Lauren Roberts 2 years ago, I soft DNFed it. Because I was going through something very serious back then and the book was triggering me. It was the right book wrong time kind of situation. I mentioned the same in my vlog. I mentioned that I…

When I express a personal opinion, some people can’t stand it and they go berserk and start jumping to defy me. This shows people’s insecurity level and emotional immaturity to understand that everyone can’t be the same and everyone has different likes and dislikes. My light is so bright that people encroach on my space…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

I don’t know if Ginny was really engaged or if she simply said that. I don’t know what she’s been up to this last one year. I miss her so much.

I want convention. What the fuck am I waiting for?

When I started dating a few years ago because I wanted to get married, I was not meeting anyone and I said to mom and dad I want to adopt a dog if I end up alone. It was dad who gave me the idea to adopt a child and be a single mother because…

People who are controlling my content show me old videos and interviews of people to say, this person said this word first. Okay, that person didn’t invent that word. Did they? Also, when that person said that thing, it was inconspicuous and they were speaking about something else all together. I’m the one making the…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

When exactly the same issue happened with H&M, I got my refund effortlessly in a few days. They promised to send a mail and I got an email immediately.

The last time I called Zivame I was so angry I recorded the conversation. They promised me a refund but it didn’t happen, so I deleted the app. I downloaded the app 5 days ago and called them. They promised a refund in 5 days. When I called today they said they have no record…

I ordered something from the Zivame app on 13th November last year. I wanted to cancel the order and I called the customer support. They asked me to reject the order at the doorstep. When the delivery partner called me on call, I asked him to cancel the order. He gave me an OTP to…

I’m feeling suicidal. I don’t have money to speak to my therapist. I don’t have money to even take care of my basic needs. I’m living in this house with that man in this invisible double life. When the whole world is benefitting out of me and my work. What kinda inhuman cruelty is this?…

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for this way?? The whole world is benefitting out of me and I’m suffering in this invisible double life in this house. What the actual fuck is this? How cruel is this? When the world wants to benefit out of me and…

Mother gets angry at me whenever I confront father. She says he’s your father. She cries saying, he needed that punishment before he died. But the truth is not going to change. I’m speaking about what he’s doing. I’m not making up BS. No matter how many times I shout at him or beg him…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

A few months ago, when I ordered an umbrella and the delivery agent created problems and I questioned him, father started boiling with anger and he hit me. So I stamped him on his stomach. It was the anger for everything that he did to me since childhood. After that we fought and he came…

I wore shorts today. I walked out of the bedroom 3 times. Father looked at my legs 2 times out of those 3 times. Every single time I wear shorts or something short or something revealing on the top, his eyes are always on me. Always. He has been doing it my entire adult life…

As long as I exist in this reality shit will continue forever. I want convention. What the fuck am I waiting for? Also, I don’t want to live in this house with that man. What the fuck is going on?

I’m not scared of crowded places. Everyone knows everything about me and people really don’t know how to behave around me. I get a lot of attention wherever I go. People behave extremely questionable. So I maintain my distance. The same way Michael Jackson or Taylor Swift would avoid crowded places. That’s it. There are…

Moana shree did whatever she did to me 7 years ago for attention. She wanted the glory that came with beefing with me. She is a demonic monster. Dudley had ulterior motives. She wanted to get a permanent position in her company, so she used my helplessness for ulterior motives. She was extremely jealous of…

Pettigrew used to wear a men’s uniform shirt with a stain on it. The only reason I know this information is because she said this to me. She was cribbing about her uniform since day 2 and drawing attention to it. You can check with the staff about this. So when her uniform changed and…

I forgot to tell you. The last dentist that I saw, I told her clearly not to do scalling on one particular tooth because it was hurting. She intentionally did scalling on that tooth three times and went deep on it. I said “what are you doing” She smiled and said there’s deposits in it.…

My site froze for every single blog since last year august till I started using the jetpack app mid of this year. I had to keep exiting each time and open it again. Sometimes the blog would go blank and I had to type again. I fought so badly.

There were honestly so many things that were going on when I was trying to tell my story. I had to fight a battle. I faced so much shit in life and when I was talking about that shit finally, I was going through shit.

When whatever happened with Pettigrew, I was trying to type on my blog and say what happened. The people who were controlling my content created a bug in my site. My site would freeze and sometimes everything I typed would disappear. I had to fight through that as well. A lot of people were desperate…

Every single time something happens, people gang up and torture me. Every single time. I have been screaming please ask me what happened since last 3 years. And again when Pettigrew lied, people ganged up and tortured me. People never change. Tomorrow someone else will lie. Will you do the same thing again?

On top of this, mother was continuously stabbing me without mercy for a reaction. When I reacted, she would put on theatrics to fuck sympathy and fake cry. Based on her theatrics the world was constantly torturing me. Mother said she did that so that I suffer and die. She wanted to bring me down…

Every single time I would speak about something important, the people who were controlling my content would create intentional typos in my blogs. They have been doing it continuously these last 3 years. They tried to constantly silence me and bury the truth. They were desperate to silence me. They were continuously torturing me based…

If you don’t expect something from Taylor Swift or Michael Jackson, you cannot expect it from me. Period. I’m not showing off or gloating. I’m stating a fact. A relentlessly hard earned fact. I’m not lucky. I’ve put in my blood, sweat and tears to reach here. “Everyone is jealous of what you’ve got, no…

You cannot pretend like you don’t know me and force conversation and force friendship with me. You cannot encroach on my space, boundaries and privacy. If anyone gaslights me or my family ever again, I want them to face charges of emotional distress and psychological assault. Any kinda shady unethical behaviour from anyone and I…

People feel it’s okay to do whatever fuck they want with me because there’s no consequences with me. The world is enabling this kinda behaviour. I want justice for every single thing that happened to me. Starting from prison school to Pettigrew and his flying monkeys. I’ve spoken about every single miniscule thing and cleared…

If you ask me the question, Would you rather be stuck in a forest with a woman or a bear? I would choose a bear. I don’t feel safe even with women. People online speak about the men who committed crimes and stereotype all men. That’s wrong. Because not all men are like that. I’ve…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Honestly, I’m scared of my safety. There are so many crazy people and creepy fans out there. Also, I speak about so many controversial topics. I’m sure I have nemesis too. And all the nemesis that I spoke about so far. Everyone knows everything about me. I’m scared of my safety.

Every single time I get ready and go out, a minimum of 5 people will ogle at me. This is the minimum. One person always stares at me from the corner of the cafe or metro or bus etc. Always. So many people turn their heads 360 degrees to look at me. Women ogle at…

Someone had to say it. I’m saying it.

Men have told me that they are bisexual. I’m not going to take names to protect their privacy. More than a few men have also told me that women have told them that they are bisexual. They said to me that most women if not all are bisexual and they are lying if they say…

Now that the truth is out and the real culprits are out, where are all the people who created riots on the road? Where are you now? Where are all the barbaric cavemen who were going berserk and jumping? I spoke about so many people who did me wrong and sexually assaulted me. Are you…

“It’s a knife when you know they’re waitin’ for you to choke” – Charlie xcx

What the fuck am I waiting for?

I’ve already proved myself more than required. I’ve spoken about all the manipulations, lies, assumptions, evil intentions, insecurities, games of everyone. I’ve gone to the root of the problem and solved things on a deeper level. I’ve spoken about every single miniscule thing and proved it. Taunting me any further than this is ridiculous and…

Next time if I catch any psycho aunty or behenji or uncle look at my chest and body. See what I do. After whatever I went through, I’m not going to ignore this kinda behaviour. Behenjis and aunties and uncles have been looking at my chest and body since many years. They look at me…

I’ve already spoken about every single thing and proved it. I’ve already proved my innocence. I don’t want to exist in this reality and double life anymore. I want convention. What the fuck am I waiting for? What’s going on? What kinda mind game is this?

After everything that we went through together, a random stranger lied and whatever I built for 2 years was thrown away in a second. This is what you do man? A random stranger lied and this is what you do? I kept screaming since day one, please ask me what happened. And this is what…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

As I already mentioned, I’m speaking the truth. I can’t help you if you are still doubting me. I cannot do anything more than this.

You don’t need to follow my words and advice blindly. As I said before, at the end of the day, you are responsible for your life and you have to live with the choices you make. Everyone’s journey is different. So do whatever rocks your boat.

This is based on what I see online. There’s a difference between self respect and ego. Self respect is needed. Ego is fucked up shit and I stay away from such people. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using dating apps. In this day and age, everyone’s on it. And that’s the best way…

Bellatrix ruined sex for me. After whatever happened with him, I kinda had an aversion towards it. I was a child. I always thought something was wrong with me. Because I was dead down there. I was pretty much convinced that I’m asexual. Then I met Will. And I was like okay there’s nothing wrong…

Whatever happened with Voldemort and Bellatrix ruined the whole thing for me. My twenties that should have been spent dating guys and partying and making mistakes, was spent crying. Then Lockhart happened but Lucius came into the picture and whatever happened happened. My entire twenties went in this. Father was also continuously torturing me and…

When Bellatrix did whatever he did, I was so fucked. I broke badly. I kept crying for a really really long time. I was also continuously sexually assaulted by the public. I didn’t know what was happening, I was a child. I didn’t know what was rape and sexual assault back then. All I knew…

Since I’m addressing the entire world, I spoke about rape. I’ve already spoken about it long ago. I don’t understand what is this whole deal about sex. I seriously don’t get it. Forcing sex and killing. I mean what’s going on in this world? Sex is just a high of few seconds and people go…

I honestly don’t get the fuss about sex. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve only had sex with psycho divorcee and he forced me into doing it. Also, because he sucked in bed. But yeah. It’s just okay and not worth the hype. I wanted to do it with Will. He is the first…

I forgot to tell you about Chintu. We met on a date a few weeks before I met Ginny. We liked each other and even did stuff in his car. It was amazing and I wanted to date him. But because of some external reasons we didn’t date. I was upset for a while and…

If people are still doubting me, I can’t help you. I’m speaking the truth. I’ve said and done everything in my power to show you the truth. I cannot do more than this. I don’t understand why people are still doubting me, tbh. At this point, after everything we went through, it’s quite ridiculous.

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Another reason why I relate so much to Magnolia Parks is because even I don’t have self preservation when I’m in love. The love that BJ and Magnolia feel for each other is similar to how I am. I don’t know why people find it toxic. I find it extremely relatable. I love them so…

Taylor is so relatable. Everyone online was speaking about being competitive while playing games and I couldn’t relate. I hear it everywhere, tbh. Taylor was saying she doesn’t care while playing games and she’ll let you win. That is so me!!! Oh God I love her. The podcast was so so good. I’ve never seen…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

This.

I don’t get along with people who have too much ego. Will and Ginny are not egoistic. This is one of the main reasons that I fell for them, along with the fact that they always respect me. Even my therapist doesn’t have an ego. My mother and sister don’t have an ego as well.…

I went through something extremely serious. I have cleared every single thing. You need to understand what I’m going through and the state of mind that I’m in. Waiting this way is affecting my mental health. I want to know what happened to each and every person who did me wrong. I want to know…

Being competitive when you are playing games or when in a competition isn’t wrong. Or maybe even at work. Most people get competitive when they are invested. But being in an extremely unhealthy competition in life with your cousin (like Dudley) or a friend etc is toxic.

I changed my phone theme and also the themes of my apps to light mode and it looks so pleasant! I’ve been using the dark mode for way too long It’s time to add colors to my life, wardrobe and also my phone. 🐈

What the fuck am I waiting for?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

“The world moves on, another day another drama, dramaBut not for me, not for me, all I think about is karmaAnd then the world moves on, but one thing’s for sureMaybe I got mine, but you’ll all get yours” – Taylor Swift✨

I want justice for every single lie, manipulation, slander, defamation, unethical behaviour, false accusation, harassment and sexual assault. I’ve spoken about every single thing. I have taken names of everyone who did me wrong. I want justice. Why are you keeping me in the dark? Can you answer me? What the fuck am I waiting…

I’ve said it before, saying it again. So that the message is extremely clear. If anyone encroaches my space and boundaries that makes you a creepy fan. If you do it in the name of love, I have to get a restraining order. Just because someone is a creepy fan and desperate to be my…

“All the king’s horses, all the king’s menCouldn’t put me together again‘Cause all of my enemies started out friends” – Taylor Swift✨ Imagine me sitting on a throne with the inscription, “Et tu, Brute?”  when I say this. That’s Taylor Swift and that’s literally me too.

“A friend to all is a friend to none.” – Taylor Swift✨

I really don’t think nikita was busy. Because when I congratulated her, she replied immediately. When I spoke about her ego, ghosted. She wasn’t busy. We were just casual friends, so a deep dive isn’t really required. Let it be. The thing with people in the past is that, they are too egoistic. They clearly…

Even mother verbally abuses father and even the kids and me when she’s angry. I hate that as well. I hate it here. I want to move out. I want distance from them. Living in this apartment in close proximity fucks me up. This apartment is better than all the other houses we’ve lived in.…

When anyone wants to make content out of my content, copy my content, throw things on my face and defy me when I express a personal opinion, it will be all over the internet so damn quickly. I’m asking you what the fuck am I waiting for since a really really long time. Why are…

These creepy fans that I told you about, not only do they cross my space and boundaries and behave extremely questionable, they also gaslight me brutally while they do that. They are creepy fans and while they assault me, they pretend like they don’t know me for an upper hand and to undermine me. This…

Every time mother speaks to father, father says “shut your mouth” and also verbally abuses her in a condescending and disrespectful manner. Every single time. He is a patriarchal condescending malayali man. I hate it to the core. I hate him when he does that. He never changes, you know? No matter how many times…

I keep thinking about Ginny and crying. I have been at home without money since January. I don’t feel good anymore. I want to speak to my therapist. Can someone please tell me what’s happening? I don’t understand why I’m waiting this way? Can you at least give me an ETA?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Did Dhruv show you the messages where I said I hate him because of his manipulations and the way he makes everything sexual? And also when I asked him to look at a mirror and understand what he looks like before blaming me and to eat his own shit? Or did he cherry pick and…

Even the monster at crochet class was a psychopath. I looked at her because I had a doubt, she clearly knew I had a doubt. But she started enjoying the attention and intentionally walked left and right and started taunting me. Such a psycho. Unethical iliterate and nincompoop. Also, The monstrous aggressive stalker in my…

I’m honestly scared of my safety after these incidents. There are so many crazy people and creepy fans out there like these people. I don’t know who will do what again. Everyone knows everything about me. I’m scared of my safety.

I spoke about how Ginny keeps touching my upper thigh in my blogs which turns me on. I think Anna who sexually assaulted me at the crochet workshop was trying to do that. She was sexually assaulting me by touching my upper thigh continuously. She’s a creepy fan. I uploaded a picture on my Instagram…

Maybe Nikita was busy, that’s why she ghosted me. But there wasn’t any real friendship or connection between us for me to fight for the friendship or even wait for a response that may or may not come. Since day one it was just a casual one sided friendship where I was the one who…

Even if my feelings are dormant, I still think about her and cry though. I cried three times today so far. I cry everyday. I’m so fucking tired of waiting. Idk why it’s so quiet.

I deleted Will’s number and unfollowed him. I feel it’s better this way. Even if it’s platonic now, there’s too much history for our partners to feel uncomfortable. And I don’t want that. He’ll always be one of my best friends even if we talk or don’t talk. I’ll always wish him well. He’s like…

I don’t know if it’s because of the meds that I’m on. But my feelings for Ginny have finally subsided and calmed down and dormant now. I still feel strongly for her even if I don’t feel feel. I’m sure once we start speaking again and when I see her, I will light up inside…

“The most boring and the most dangerous people are those self-righteous people who would have you believe they have no skeletons in their closets. In fact, they have no closets. They’re full of baloney. I think that before you judge anybody, you should look at yourself and have enough courage to admit what you see.”…

“We’re all a little bit gay” – Harry Styles. Yes. Everyone’s in the closet and they are lying if they say otherwise. Most people are 95% straight like me. Those who are out and proud are being honest. That’s it. People in the closet are hypocrites who point fingers at me because I’m authentic and…

Everything that you think is not true but the thoughts you act on becomes your truth. And you have to own up to your actions. You can always redeem yourself when you make a mistake. But if you cause an irreversible mistake, there’s no going back sometimes. Depends. You would have to live with the…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

For the record, Just because I’m not interested in engaging with creepy vultures, it doesn’t make me a lone wolf. I’m not even an introvert. I’m an ambivert. FYI.

What the fuck am I waiting for?

If you want to find love, you have to put yourself out there. Again and again and again. Even after heartbreaks, rejections and meeting weirdos. That’s the only way, I’m sorry. Be careful when you do that though. Do background verification and bolt when anything seems off. You have to be Ted Mosby and not…

Since I started my blog and YouTube, whenever I have something to say or feel like speaking to someone, I just put it here. When I have problems, I speak to my therapist. I keep playing with my nieces. These days my parents aren’t doing anything to trouble me, so it’s peaceful. I’m in love…

Having said that, I don’t really text that often. I prefer texting only my partner all the time. I text everyone else when I have something important to say.

I’ve been texting since so many years. I’ve spoken to a lot of people. A lot. I’ve been ghosted and I’ve ghosted too. I’m okay with ghosting and being ghosted. Initially when I started texting and when someone would ghost me, I would worry about them if they were okay. I used to double text,…

Most people don’t have the ability to take accountability and apologise. They’d rather end the friendship or relationship. I’m completely okay letting go of such people. These people were never my friend to begin with, it was just casual. Because I expect high standards to accept people in my close circle and call someone my…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

“Get my car door, isn’t that sweet? Then pull mе to the back seat” – Taylor Swift✨

What the fuck am I waiting for?

One thing I appreciate is that, Rohit and Nikita took a step back silently because for some reason they didn’t want to continue the friendship. I respect their decision and I took a step back as well. There was no bad blood or defeating or slandering or attacking etc. I appreciate this a lot. I…

I reached out to Rohit 2-3 times to resolve the conflict after what happened. Even though he was the one who gaslighted me which ended up in conflict. He prefers ending the friendship than apologising and he blocked me. There wasn’t a strong friendship between us anyway. It was just a casual one sided friendship…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

People were creating false scenarios and situations around me to make it look like it’s okay to be like that. Based on assumptions about whatever I was doing and lies and manipulations of people I know. That was scrutiny and inhuman cruelty to the extreme. Also, the world was hurting me constantly based on lies…

Sometimes when I’m feeling salty and I open Instagram and see random posts or reels, I start feeling bitter and negative thoughts pop into my mind. At that time, I stop and reflect. I’m able to differentiate that the reason I’m feeling bitter has nothing to do with the innocent content creator and everything to…

She said that she loves me in mid 2023. When I was a failure and going to die. Even before I proved my sanity and innocence. When we started dating, she liked me even before I was hot. All other men started liking me because I was dressing hot. But she didn’t care about it.…

When we were speaking on call initially, she understood that I’m not good with calls. So she said we’ll text. And we were texting all the time. Also, I know that when I say something she will remember it. She keeps asking a lot of questions. I love her questions. She remembers everything I say…

She also gets me. She is understanding. I know I can say any weird thing that I think and it won’t end up being a mess.

Ginny also remembers every tiny detail that I text her. I would have forgotten about it. But she doesn’t. She brings it up on the date and asks me questions about it. Which I love a lot. She also sends me relatable reels based on something we spoke about. She was genuinely interested in me…

I think people are mistaking connection with finding similarities. No, when I say connection it isn’t really that. It just means you both are interested and invested in the relationship/friendship. You have a good rapport. You just need to know how to hold the conversation and be genuinely interested in the other person. Be curious…

Kindness, empathy, trust, compassion is the pre-requisite for me to date someone. If they care about your day and you enjoy talking to them and can go on speaking forever with comfortable silences in between. If you love the thought of coming home to them. Because they are easy to be with and love spending…

That’s why some people sit on the edge of their seats and wait to defy me. Because I’m really good and they need something against me to satisfy their demons. They see me as a threat. They are so bloody jealous. My light is so bright, they can never come close to it. So they…

Women are always insecure and jealous around me. Always. Because I’m really really good and everyone always likes me. They constantly try to bring me down. Starting from Voldemort, everyone has always been extremely jealous and they go to extreme lengths to bring me down. So extreme that they even want me dead. Even my…

Why are you keeping me in the dark? What’s going on? What the fuck am I waiting for? What kinda mind game is this? What’s happening?

I want justice for every single thing. Every single thing. What the fuck am I waiting for?

People are bullshitting in front of the world. So before you gang up and hurt me and call it karma. Please ask my side of the story. This has been going on my whole bloody life. Please have some sense at least now. I’m a human being not an animal or an alien.

I will be treating people based on my personal first hand experience with them. So before treating me shitty based on someone else’s lies and manipulations please think twice. Because it’s going to sever our relationship forever.

I know I keep repeating myself. I’m sorry, the trauma was just too much. Waiting this way doesn’t really help. I haven’t spoken to my therapist properly since January. I’ve been dealing with this alone. I’m kinda losing my marbles.

Every single time something happens people gang up and torture me. Every single bloody time. Based on someone else’s lies, manipulations, assumptions, insecurities, jealousy, theatrics and what not. This has been going on my whole bloody life. I don’t understand why people are so interested in my life. If you are sooo interested in my…

A random stranger lied and this is what you do man? After everything that we went through together, this is what you do? What was the world doing? An overgrown man was made to stalk me aggressively like a monster and the world was sitting and watching and forcing me to speak to that stalker.…

If anyone gaslights me or my family ever again, I want them to face charges of emotional distress and psychological assault. I want convention. What the actual fuck am I waiting for man? The whole world is benefitting out of me and I’m suffering in this double life. What the actual fuck is this? What…

I don’t feel safe even with women not just men. Women behave extremely questionable with me. Not just men. If anyone likes me, there’s nothing wrong in it. This is a free country. But you cannot encroach and overstep my space and boundaries. You cannot force me. You cannot try to lure me. You cannot…

Their defiance is as shallow and baseless as a puddle.. And I’m the mighty ocean. They got nothing on me.

What the fuck am I waiting for?

There’s a difference between having opinions, and sitting on the edge of your seats waiting to defy me and making defiance your entire personality. (like how haters like rachel catherine have been doing.) These people don’t have any valid opinions or views to support their points. They aren’t that deep, nah. All they want to…

I want justice for every single thing. What the fuck am I waiting for? Why are you keeping me in the dark? What’s going on man?

When someone misbehaves with me, behaves unethical, gaslights me, mistreats me or does any kind of shady behaviour, I will most definitely be writing here. I’m teaching people how to treat me. Until and unless people learn to treat me right, I’m going to be extremely vocal about it. This is the only thing I…

Also, even when I was speaking about the color white, I was speaking about myself and my personal preferences. I clearly said “everyone looks good in it” but I personally don’t prefer wearing it. But people personalized what I said and went crazy online. I don’t even understand why because I was speaking about myself.…

I have already spoken about why I made the DNF video and why I returned certain books etc on a deeper level. People need to learn to move on. I find the book community extremely hypocritical. Everyone has books that they dnf and dislike but I’m not allowed to have even the slightest of opinions.…

There are 1M+ books and fable only shows me the books that I added on my dnf list years ago on Goodreads and books that I returned because it was damaged/pirated on my explore page. They are permanent on my explore page. Like I’m constantly being taunted. I deleted fable. This is scrutiny to the…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

People were taking advantage of my helplessness. There was honestly so much shit that happened and that was going on. So much shit. I’ve spoken about every single thing these last three years. There’s nothing left to say now. Please put an end to this. I cannot wait this way. I’m fucked. I don’t even…

Voldemort was really young when whatever happened to me. So when she got to know I broke because of what she did, she must have panicked and did whatever she did. Also, during that time people were really narrow minded and homophobic because people didn’t understand it. There was a lot of stigma around things.…

What the fuck am I waiting for? How much more should I prove myself when the truth is already in front of you long ago with valid and legit proofs? Only I knew the truth so I fought through death to say it. Now that I’ve done everything in my power to show you the…

Draco and I used to hold hands while walking. We have hung out so many times in the decade that we were best friends. We walked a lot together. Draco told me I’m the only one he’s comfortable holding hands with, he doesn’t like doing it with anyone else. We must have said “I love…

Everytime mother relapses and speaks about something that bothers her, father keeps repeating “shut your mouth” and silences her. I hate that about him. Because he has done too much damage in the past which cannot be buried or swept under the rug. I know he has changed and is trying. But he should have…

I had cleared why I said “playing it cool” 7 years ago itself. I had messaged my sister 7 years ago I heard it in the song “say you won’t let go”. You can check my messages. I don’t understand why I’m being questioned now?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

When you are really angry, You can also go to the mall where you can pay money to break appliances with a bat, go for a run, go to the gym and so on. When you are horny, Watch something and masturbate or join dating apps and meet your needs with consent. You will find…

I’ve spoken about it before, saying it again differently. I like to believe my mind is my own personal safe space. We’ll have millions of thoughts in this lifetime. We speak to ourselves, imagine, ruminate, replay memories, beat ourselves up, hurtful memories keep repeating itself and so on. We are our own best friend. Also,…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

I’ve rejected foreigners and really hot NRI women as well 3 years ago. I rejected so many women. I was casually speaking to them. That’s when I realised I’m not attracted to women in real life. I kept losing interest. I used to get scared when they asked to meet. Because I’m not interested in…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Can the team at fable please look into this? Why are these same books permanently on my explore page?

Fable keeps showing me the books that I added on my dnf list on Goodreads long ago and the books that I returned because it was damaged/pirated. These books are permanent on my explore page. This is extreme scrutiny man. I will be deleting fable soon if this scrutiny doesn’t stop soon. You need to…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

I want justice for every single thing. Every single thing. I want to know what’s happening. Why am I waiting this way? I want to know what happened to each and every person who did me wrong. Please just tell me!!!!!! I want to know. Please stop keeping me in the dark.

There was so much internal manipulation. People were helping each other. They don’t care if they throw mud on my name and I die. They were helping each other save their asses. That’s why when a random stranger lied, they went berserk like barbaric cavemen and tortured and tried to kill me. They wanted to…

When I went to the dentist last year, there was blood whenever I brushed, I had not done scalling in 3 years, I could clearly see deposits. The dentist kept saying use mouthwash to make it look like I had a problem of bad breath. They said my teeth is clean and there is no…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

I think I’m overthinking about mother. I don’t know. My mind is going round and round. Please put an end to this.

You can check when that song was released and the date of the incident at Askaban. My internet history during that period on how many times I played that song. That was my favorite song back then.

I don’t remember why I said “playing it cool” 7 years ago during whatever happened at Askaban. And why people were stuck with it back then. I don’t remember the context. I heard it in the song “Say you won’t let go by James Arthur” and I was quoting the lyrics, that’s it. That was…

If you are doing something because you love doing it and you take a picture to remember it. Later, post it on the gram because it’s your own personal scrapbook. Yes, this is how it should be. If you do things just for the gram and a good picture. The likes, comments and stories. Why…

I think I’m losing it. I can’t exist this way for long. Please put an end to this soon.

When I said men can’t win me over with the grand gesture of roses. This is what I meant, She is being funny with this picture. Because MBF. Anyway. I do love thoughtful flowers when needed every now and then. That’s a yesss. Just because flowers? Yesss. But over doing it? Nah. Doing it for…

I don’t know if whatever I said about mother is true. About the subtle manipulations. As long as I exist in this reality, shit will continue forever. I want this to end once and for all. The monster at crochet class doesn’t know the basic code of conduct of a teacher. I had a doubt…

I spoke to mother and explained why I shouted. I tried to resolve the conflict. She was quiet though. I’m just waiting. I would be able to love and appreciate them better if there’s some distance. I’ve been saying this since last few years.

I stopped wearing shorts at home because father’s eyes are always on my body. I stopped long back. I’m just waiting to move out. I’ve been waiting since a long time.

Can someone please answer me what the fuck am I waiting for this way? I feel exploited. I know I’m supposed to feel flattered when someone copies me but I’m sorry I don’t. I feel extremely exploited. Because I’m suffering here in this double life. I’m not getting the recognition, perks, credit and convention for…

Every time my parents want to win an argument they say, “stop shouting”. It’s extremely manipulative because they trigger me and I react. Then they behave all calm and quiet and innocent and say, “stop shouting”. They do this to make me look crazy. The manager at 46 ounces did the same thing. After everything that…

Mother and I fought just now. We fought after a really long time. I can’t live in this house anymore. I’m fed up. I spoke about everything that happened. I’m fed up with everything, so I spoke about everything. Father said, Admit her in the hospital. So I started shouting. After everything that I went…

I want my space boundaries and privacy to be respected. I want to move out of this house. I don’t want to exist in this invisible double life anymore and suffer without money when I’m already successful. I want to know what happened to each and every person who did me wrong. What the fuck…

I think I’m still being watched. Because the other day, I was speaking to my niece and asking about school and mother intentionally said, “stop shouting” when I was speaking. I don’t know why she did that because I was not shouting. I was speaking normally. .. I don’t like it when mother interferes in…

I never close my nose and create a scene and make faces when someone has bad breath or bad body odor. If it’s someone close, I tell them gently. If it’s a stranger, I distance myself and move on. I never speak about it as well.. So many people in Askaban wouldn’t brush their teeth…

The cute guy I told you about, Nishant. He came to the date after doing night shift. I think he forgot to brush his teeth because I realised it when I pecked him on his lips playfully. I didn’t say anything though. I stayed quiet and didn’t kiss him after that. I hugged him while…

The monster at crochet class had a disgusting body odor but I didn’t close my nose and create a scene when she came near me. I kept quiet about it. Because I’m not an illiterate and unethical nincompoop like her.

I don’t like watching anything on my phone. I like watching on laptop or the TV. (I’m stating a personal preference. Please don’t go crazy online saying you watch on phone. If you watch stuff on your phone, good for you. Everyone has personal preferences.) That’s why I rarely watch stuff. I watch stuff on…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Waiting this way is weird because I don’t have money to do anything. So I’m just in bed doomscrolling and listening to music and very rarely watching something. With the regular everyday routine. Gosh!

Please read my blog posts, directly from my site. Like open and read on my site. I don’t know how this whole thing works, tbh. I edit things sometimes. So go read from the site. It’s so confusing because I don’t have clarity on what’s happening in the world and how people are consuming my…

It feels good to be normal. It feels good inside my head. I’m able to think clearly and my body feels good. When I was crazy, my body was anxious and fucked all the time, my mind was fucked, I couldn’t handle stress or any emotions rationally. It was hell. I never imagined life would…

When I keep saying disengage. I’m not asking you to cut people off every time a problem arises. If there’s a connection, fight for it. If it still doesn’t work, well at least you tried. You’ll have that satisfaction. I’ve already spoken about this. Saying it again because I don’t want you to cut everyone…

I don’t want to exist in this invisible double life anymore. What exactly is happening? What am I waiting for this way? I want to know what’s happening. I want to know what happened to each and every person who did me wrong. Please tell me what’s going on!!!!!

I don’t know if you heard me, The people who were controlling my content and surroundings did a lot of shit too. They were constantly assaulting me. They were constantly hurting me based on lies and manipulations. They were constantly trying to silence me and bury the truth. They created intentional typos in my blogs.…

Every single person in this world feels gasy and farts. Everyone. Everyone will have bad breath when they eat certain food or when they don’t drink water for a long time or if they don’t go to the dentist regularly. A few men I met on a date had bad breath when I kissed them.…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Note. I said this last year October, fyi. I have mentioned flowers multiple times since I started writing here. I don’t know if you’ve noticed though? I have spoken about sunflowers and roses since the beginning, here and there. Sunflower is my favourite flower and Ginny is my rose because I consider myself as the…

Apart from the fact that my stomach feels like it’s run over by a truck and there’s a crime scene in my underwear. I’m fine. I’m totally fine. I’m fineeeee. (Ross’s voice) My heart is used to being beaten up, so don’t worry about it. Also, crying and me go way back. I’m fineee. (sipping…

And just like that on a random friday afternoon, I’m not angry anymore.

List of updates you didn’t ask for. (part 2) It’s 23:18 PM I just woke up. I’ve been listening to “I miss you I’m sorry by Gracie Abrams” since yesterday and crying. I can’t relate but the feel is right. “i love being dramatic, because why would you ever deal with any emotion in a…

List of updates you didn’t ask for. Ginny blocked me on LinkedIn yesterday. There’s absolutely no way to speak to her now. I’m unable to stop my tears since. My heart is paining and so is my tummy. (period cramps, don’t ask) I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know if she changed her…

What exactly am I waiting for?

I want justice for every single lie, slander, manipulation and false accusation. Every single unjust pain that was inflicted on me.

Even when my parents don’t say anything, if they are feeling salty or sad or something, it makes me upset. I react to energy before words. I don’t know why I’m this way. Yesterday father was in a bad mood and grumpy, it made me upset and I reacted. I haven’t been feeling my best…

I’m fucking tired of living in this apartment with father and his extreme anger issues. I’m tired of existing in this double life without money when I’m already successful. I’m fucking tired of waiting this way. I’m this close to losing it. This close. What the fuck am I waiting for man?

I called 46 ounces and said what happened to me was wrong and they said, it happened so many months ago. I stated again what happened was wrong. They apologised. It felt forced but they did apologise. I was assaulted at the bier library by the staff and when I was leaving, I couldn’t find…

When you are getting married or getting into a relationship, Unless it’s a “fuck yessss”, it should be a no. Irrespective of age or whatever other factors. Love yourself and your own company so much that you recognise when someone is not for you and say no. You should be okay either way. If you…

According to google the number of people who cheat on their partner is, “Approximately 20% of men and 13% of women report having extramarital sex while married. However, this number varies significantly depending on factors like age, relationship type, and even geographic location. Some studies suggest that the prevalence of infidelity is higher in unmarried…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

When people tortured me and wanted me dead, everything happened so damn quickly. They didn’t even stop and ask me what happened. At that time “legal stuff” didn’t take time. The truth is out long ago and now apparently “legal stuff takes time”. Oh okay.

Also, RIP Cassandra. Let her lay peacefully in her grave. Thank you. Good morning, Good evening, Good night. (Truman’s voice) (Takes a bow.) It’s time to end this stupid thing. (P.S. I haven’t seen that movie, sorry if I’m getting the reference wrong. Then again I have not seen game of thrones as well. So…

Next time, Until you know both sides of the story. Please stfu. This applies not just with me but every single person in this world.

You can’t blame a liar for lying and hate a liar. Because news flash! That’s what liars do. What should the world do when you hear a rumour? Ask my side of the story? Ask me what happened? Clarify with me? This is basic man. I’ve been screaming “please ask me what happened” since I…

Invading my personal space and boundaries without my consent and finding out things to defy me is betrayal. Please be aware of this. If you are doing it based on something I’ve expressed on my public platforms. Makes sense. But again people read between the lines, misinterpret, assume, personalize and all that shit.

Also, the youtuber Rachel Catherine didn’t find me ugly when she was lusting at me and trying to lure me. But she constantly called me ugly after I rejected her. Interesting? Really interesting. She should look at a mirror. You can re-watch my videos. I clearly repeated “platonically” multiple times. She’s been throwing shade since…

Also, Most importantly, When I expressed my opinion about those books, I didn’t know that the world was watching my videos. If I knew, I would have handled things better. The world betrayed me and then they pointed fingers at me for my innocent mistake. And attacked me. I was copying other booktubers and doing…

“It was God’s plan to show y’all the liar” – Kendrick Lamar.

Amen.

When the first stone’s thrown, there’s screamingIn the streets, there’s a raging riotWhen it’s “Burn the bitch,” they’re shriekingWhen the truth comes out, it’s quietIt’s so quiet Taylor Swift✨

What exactly am I waiting for? When people tortured me and wanted me dead everything happened so quickly. The truth is out long ago. What’s going on?

Also, Just because I disengage with people doesn’t mean I want them to die or I will be filled with hatred towards them. I don’t carry any animosity and I always wish everyone well. I love them from a distance platonically. Unless you cross my threshold and do me so bad. Then you’re dead to…

Just because I didn’t prefer reading something, that doesn’t mean I don’t want that author to get hyped up or get movie adaptations etc. I’m genuinely happy for colleen hoover, ali hazelwood and the other authors for the movie adaptations and hype. It was already hyped up before I expressed my views on them. I…

What exactly am I waiting for?

I feel normal in my head now. I’ve been feeling normal for quite some time now. That’s why I have all these insights and knowledge. I still have problems. But I feel good in my head. I was crazy for so many years because of what happened. God. It’s kinda like a miracle that I’m…

Things happened the way it happened and wouldn’t have happened any other way. I’m glad in a way that I was able to clear every single miniscule thing about my past. And I’m finally here. I’m grateful everyone helped me. No one, literally no one, can use my past against me as a weapon ever…

Emily Henry’s book helped me figure out certain things, it was like a clue. Because in 2023 I was trying my best to gather clues and solve my life. So it happened for good. It’s good that she wrote that. Can’t complain if I think about it. But it did hurt me.

Stop glorifying people who hurt me. People need to understand what is right and what is wrong. People need to be held responsible for their words and actions. I want justice. I want convention. I don’t want to exist in this double life anymore. What exactly is happening? Why am I waiting this way?

Authors have even called me an ugly gargoyle in their book (abby jimnez). They have attacked me by calling my laugh bark laugh and other things (emily henry). And those books won Goodreads award and were also bestsellers. People have been extremely insensitive and cruel towards me and my feelings. There is a book tuber…

Everyone has books that they dislike or don’t read or DNF. But I cannot have them. I do understand that it’s because the audience is humongous in my case. But I find it hypocritical when people have books that they dislike themselves but it’s not acceptable for me to even remove it from my shelf…

I was using my Goodreads “want to read” shelf as my physical TBR. I would add books and buy them. If I returned books for certain reasons, like because it’s damaged or pirated or something, I would remove it from that shelf. I was also removing books from that shelf when I didn’t find the…

I miss Ginny so much my heart aches. I’m unable to string thoughts into words tonight. I’m drowsy and cannot keep my eyes open for too long. My heart is aching the familiar kinda ache that’s been constant since I last hugged her. All I want is to melt in her arms but I will…

” She needed cold hard proof so I gave her someShe had the envelope, where you think she got it from? “ – Taylor Swift✨

I want justice for what happened to me at Askaban and Ministry. I want justice for every single lie and slander that was said about me. I want justice for every single unjust pain that was inflicted on me. Can someone please explain to me what exactly is happening and why I’m waiting this way?…

I didn’t foresee what happened after August. Whatever I wrote here was impromptu and real time. You can understand from this that I’m good at what I do. I didn’t foresee whatever happened these last 3 years as well. But I had this thing in my mind that I wanted to prove my sanity and…

Note. This is what I said in the blog. Please read it again. I’ve said about, God always being with me, my consciousness always being clear, always thinking from a place of love and so many other good things. But why are people focused on only the word checkmate? Shows how you think. Not me.

You can fact check everything that I’ve said because I’m speaking the truth. It’s because I’m speaking the truth that I was able to prove myself. Also, I’m good at things. I can easily be a lawyer and a therapist. But I don’t have the stamina and mental strength for it. I can faint and…

I don’t understand why I’m being taunted even now? With “mastermind and chess.” Even after speaking about every damn thing and clearing everything with valid and legit proofs. I don’t understand what more do people want from me? What exactly are you doubting me for? After suffering for years without understanding what was happening and…

I really like that Ginny isn’t desperate. She is really chill and friendly. She doesn’t even sext or ask for nudes. She was okay with waiting till I was ready. She didn’t make a fuss about it. She didn’t get irritated when we wouldn’t kiss on some dates. She genuinely wanted to get to know…

It’s nice to see people are challenging my ideas and adding their own layers to it. As I said, whatever I say isn’t really set in stone. I might change my mind later on myself, as I grow and learn some more and get more insight on things. .. I don’t know if there’s a…

What exactly am I waiting for?

So many people look at my cleavage when I wear something slightly revealing and step out. Men and women everywhere. Even the fucking hospital staff. So many people. They look at me with their mouths open and up and down, without context. They look at my legs when I wear something short. They look at…

This is what I did with my parents. (what I explained in my previous blog) That’s how I forgave them and moved on from my pain. Now things are peaceful mostly. It didn’t happen overnight, took a lot of resolve and grace.

In a relationship or friendship, When one person is showing growth and change and is trying. And the other person is still stuck in the past and bringing up their hurt. It’s because they don’t feel seen, acknowledged and validated. Also, because the pain is too much for them to fathom and come in terms…

Most of the problems people have are first world problems. Gosh man!

I’ve said it before, saying it again. .. Why do you have to attack and defeat people when they don’t want to be your friend or in a relationship with you? Why can’t you just be an adult and both of you take a step back and maintain the peace and harmony? I’ve noticed this…

Honestly, I don’t even know what Will has and doesn’t have. The entire time we were best friends, we have never spoken about money and wealth. We were really close for a few years and I was in love with him during that time. .. Unpopular opinion, When I’m dating, I like to go with…

” Here’s a toast to my real friendsThey don’t care about the “he said, she said”And here’s to my babyHe ain’t readin’ what they call me latelyAnd here’s to my mamaHad to listen to all this dramaAnd here’s to you‘Cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do Hahaha, I can’t even say it with a…

When mother and I would go to Krishna temple during childhood. I used to pluck flowers from trees on the way to the temple and keep it in the temple. Always. I saw mother doing it. So I would do it every time. … When I was working at Askaban. I would always buy sunflowers…

I want justice for every lie that was said about me. Every single manipulation and false accusations. For every single unjust pain that was inflicted on me.

Sex addict Shushma GR and rashmi reddy bullied me for one whole semester. I’ve already spoken about it. Reshma bullied me for 2 years. Ragging in college is illegal right? The sex addict Shushma GR masturbated in the class in front of people while reading smut. In case you forgot.

I don’t know if I told you this, But I got lost one day during childhood. This is one of the most traumatic experiences I’ve had. I get scared thinking about it even now sometimes in the night. .. During my PU college, I went to Majestic with father to make bus pass. They called…

The truth is already out long ago. I’m not interested in repeating the same things forever and ever. I’ve been repeating it since August. It’s time to take action and put an end to this. Stop playing stupid mind games. When people tortured me and wanted me dead you didn’t drag it. The truth is…

Also, most importantly. There was no friendship between us. For there to be friendship, there should be connection and rapport between us. There was absolutely nothing between us. She was constantly overstepping my boundaries and space and forcing herself in my life since day one. She is a creepy fan.

I meant, “I will love you till the very end” Aahhh typo.

Ginny saying, “I will meet you when I come to Bangalore” “I want to marry you” Me saying, “I will love till the very end” “I will come to Canada” .. These are a few examples of the word promise. Please understand the meaning of that word before using it.

When Will and I were speaking for 2 years, I said to him that I want to meet him. He promised, “Rach I will definitely meet you one day when I come to Bangalore.” This is called a promise. Please google the meaning of promise. .. The person who is repeatedly using the word promise…

When someone is setting a clear verbal/non-verbal boundary and saying, “I’m not interested in speaking to you.” You are supposed to stay away. .. Unless you are a family member, best friend, boyfriend/husband, you have no right whatsoever to approach them after that boundary. Because you don’t have that kinda rapport or connection with them.…

A promise is, “I will definitely meet you one day.” Asking a person, “I’m going out, do you want to join me.” Is not a promise. … Imagine you are speaking to someone and you make plans with that person 2 times but the plan doesn’t happen. After two times you stop because that person…

All the chats on my Instagram are monochrome theme. Black and grey. I changed it in 2022. You can check the record. I used to love neutral colours a lot. A couple of months ago, I started adding different colours to my wardrobe and revamped it. You can also check my orders list from H&M…

I want St John’s hospital to face charges for calling a psychiatrist whenever I went into the emergency room in 2023. I was sick because of tonsils and wound in my throat which I clearly repeated multiple times. They termed it as a “panic attack” and falsely diagnosed me with psychosis. I want them to…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Will is one of the best people I know. He cares about me as a friend. He will never reach out and gaslight me brutally. I know someone is behind all this. Please stop testing me like a lab rat. I’ve proved myself enough and already spoken about everything and proved myself. Put an end…

When people tortured me and wanted me dead, you didn’t pull it this way. Why the fuck are you pulling it unnecessarily now? The truth is already out long ago.

I’ve proved myself more than enough. The truth is already out long ago. Every single person in this world knows Pettigrew is a liar long ago. I don’t understand why this is being stretched unnecessarily beyond this. Will reached out and gaslighted me brutally. I was fucked up for 2 whole days. I already spoke…

Psycho perfect man even had a problem with the way I show my teeth and smile in photos. He kept taunting me saying that I should not show my teeth. He had a problem with every damn thing about me and constantly assaulted me. He is a maniac. I’m so happy God saved me from…

Waiting this way is affecting my mental health badly. I want to know what exactly is happening and why I’m made to wait this way. Please stop keeping me in the dark and tell me what’s going on and when this will end. I don’t have money to do anything. I want convention. I don’t…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

I didn’t know what exactly Pettigrew was doing and what exactly happened. Now when I reflect upon that incident. It makes sense. That’s why I’m repeating myself. Even my past with Voldemort and Bellatrix and Lucius. They were really evil and demonic.

Pettigrew used to look at me with her eyes bulging out of her socket and mouth open. She was continuously forcing me to go to her house. Again and again and again like a broken record. I didn’t know she is bisexual and what exactly was her intention. At first I thought she was being…

When I rejected Pettigrew I was extremely polite. I said, “I’m sorry I don’t make friends easily, don’t feel bad.” I also added, “That’s the reason I kept deleting your number and unfollowed you on Instagram” She clearly knew I wasn’t interested in her. I rejected her advances so she spread slander. .. Even after…

The incident with Pooja happened when I was in college. People have made fun of my clothes and shoes my entire college life. I didn’t have the money to buy what I wanted, so I silently took it. They have body shamed me, called me ugly, made fun of my hair. Everything. On top of…

One day I went shopping with Pooja Saushimath. I was wearing a white kurti with flowers in it and jeans. After she took the dress from the hanging, she went to ask me the price when she clearly knew I was with her. Then she looked at my face and said “oh”. After that, she…

When you mind your own business, you can’t go wrong. Even if life throws shit at you, which life is infamous for. Your side of the street will be clean.

Just because the stalker old man is lonely, that doesn’t give him any right to continuously stalk me, force himself in my life and consistently mistreat me. Also, I clearly said to him, “I’m sorry I don’t think this is working” Later when I became successful, the stalker old man started kissing my ass and…

Even when no one believed me. God didn’t leave my side. God sent my therapist to help me, God sent Ginny to love me, God sent Dr Mahesh Meda to save me, God showed me mother’s truth and mother saved my life in the end. God gave me the strength to prove myself and help…

When I was suffering because of my throat, no one believed me and they called it “psychological problem” When whatever happened with Voldemort, I clearly said she’s speaking about me. No one believed me and they called it “psychological problem “ When whatever happened with Lucius, I clearly said she betrayed me. No one believed…

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck is happening??? What the fuck am I waiting for?? My parents are sick. Mother is suffering and sick. There’s something in my eyes and it’s not going. We have to go to the hospital. What’s happening man? When people wanted me dead and tortured me,…

I was sick for one year because of my throat. There was a wound in my throat because of which my tonsils was not going. I couldn’t breath and I kept going to the emergency. And people in St John’s emergency kept calling the psychiatrist whenever I went there and termed it as “panic attack”…

I was crying and now my eyes are fixed. But I have to take my parents to the hospital. What exactly am I waiting for? The truth is out long ago.

Whoever is responsible for this shit, answer me!!!! What the actual fuck is this??? I AM SICK!!!! I have to go to the hospital!!!

Is someone listening? When people want to throw things on my face it’ll be all over the internet. When people copy me and my content, it’ll be all over the internet. When people make movies and series and write books, it happens so quickly. I AM SICK!!! I have to go to the hospital. No…

I’m sick, something fell into my eyes in the afternoon and it feels irritating now. I have to go to the hospital. But I don’t have money for it. Both my parents have been sick for a really long time because of old age issues. They can’t take me. I went to my sister’s house…

Please keep me safe. I’m scared of my safety. There are too many crazy people and nemesis out there. Please respect my privacy, boundaries and space strictly.

I request women to stop behaving questionable with me. I request everyone to keep it platonic with me. Men and women. I have my own close circle of family and friends. I already have someone I love a lot. There’s literally no moving on. I’m not really looking for anything from anyone. I can only…

My parents have changed drastically and have redeemed themselves long ago. I have forgiven them long ago because it all happened based on misunderstandings and external shit. The world didn’t know me and there were all these preconceived notions about me. So I’m not really mad at the world as well. We’re finally here now.…

I’m sure there will be someone out there who will appreciate the men I’ve rejected and love them for who they are. My definition of them is not a definite definition. I had my reasons to reject them. I wish them well and I hope they find someone. Men have rejected me as well, I’m…

I said whatever I said about our ancestors in an attempt to end the war. I said it without any research and prior reflection. I was speaking about the cruelty aspect of the past, that’s it. I didn’t mean to undermine anyone. That wasn’t my intention.

I’ve kissed some really questionable men with consent. So if I’m saying someone didn’t have my consent, it’s the truth. I never have sex though. I have to be in love to do it. That’s why I relate to Magnolia Parks in book one. Because I was in my serial dating phase after Ginny till…

Pettigrew is a bloody aunty man. A fucking nobody in my life. I don’t think about her at all. She’s just a random person whom I met in a random restaurant. She was constantly forcing, but I forgave her because I don’t speak against weak people. And all this BS happened because I rejected her.…

I forgot to mention, Abhit has luxury cars, there is a “s” in that word. Also, I forgot to tell you. Milan’s family is affluent. He is filthy rich, he’s the software engineer manager in Amazon. He is so fucking hot. He’s 29 and we have an amazing rapport and chemistry even. He told me…

Men never understand when I say, “let’s hang out and watch TV.” They always bring condoms and always assume I want to have sex. I don’t understand where the communication gap is to be honest. Because I always tell them explicitly, “I don’t want to have sex.” I stopped saying that after a while because…

I met someone in November 2023 and March 2024. I was looking for a friend. But they weren’t interested in being friends. After that I stopped trying to make friends. .. Since I started dating in 2019, I would have spoken to around 200-250 men. I fell in love just twice. With Will and Ginny.…

Leslie was really cute too. I kinda liked him. I already told you what happened. I started crying after what happened in the lift. That was the last time I kissed someone. It was in July 2023. … Then there was Arun Babu whom I met in 2022 when Ginny friendzoned me. I spoke about…

When I met Nishant in 2023 june, we were speaking about our exes and I said to him Ginny was really good. He raised his eyebrow and made an expression like “really?” I kinda liked Nishant, he was really cute. I didn’t have any feelings. I was trying to be present and see if I…

I will not tolerate anyone trying to bury the truth and avoid accountability and avoid responsibility for what they did to me. I want convention. I want each and every person who did me wrong to face the full consequences of what they did to me. I want justice for every unjust pain. I want…

Dumbledore really did fuck up. He must be trying to put the blame on my family and saying he was just doing what they said to him. But it was his responsibility to ask questions and answer questions before giving medication. He did not know what I proved. He fucked up. I will not let…

People destroyed and sabotaged my life in the name of help and caused insurmountable pain and suffering. If people were so interested in my personal life and wanted to know something, they could have just asked me.

As long as I exist in this reality shit will continue forever. I want convention. I want to know what happened to each and every person who did me wrong. I want to know what’s happening and why I’m waiting this way. Stop keeping me in the dark and tell me what’s going on. I…

Psycho divorcee is a misogynistic incel patriarchal malayali man. He was a disgusting and creepy monster. I was innocent and I didn’t know anything about the world when I was with him. He was psychotic and monstrous. I didn’t know I could just end things with him. I’ve already spoken about everything that he did.…

The people who were controlling my content and surroundings were evil. They were continuously trying to bury the truth and caused psychological pain and tried to silence me. They were hurting me continuously based on others manipulations and lies and calling it karma. They were creating intentional typos in my blogs. They were responsible for…

Father clearly knew I was asking him to close his mouth with his hand and sneeze. Because he was sneezing like a caveman. Instead of doing that he was putting on theatrics and trying to stop his sneeze to fuck sympathy and make me look bad. And everyone was sneezing like him intentionally, online and…

I wish my parents had let me tell my story peacefully. Even the world. I went through insurmountable pain my whole life. These last 3 years were extreme. God!!! I’m glad I was able to say everything and I’m still alive. I’m grateful that the world helped me and supported me when in need. I…

“and it’s a battle for your songyou had to hide away for so longwhen they say your self is wrong” – Coldplay✨

“Do you believe me now?” – Cassandra.

Can someone please explain to me what the fuck am I waiting for?

I have been consistently speaking the truth since day one. And I have also proved every single miniscule thing with valid and legit proofs. (She ate and left no crumbs your honor) I rest my case. I do not wish to participate in this anymore. Please put an end to this. It’s time. Thank you.

If I bit my lower lip and looked at her from top to bottom, she should have spoken about it in the beginning itself because it’s something huge. You can clearly observe that, she kept changing her words and she kept adding salt and pepper every single time I cleared that incident. She is a…

I wanted to say I’m retiring, so I wrote that whole blog. Everything else that I said, the whole repeating, was trauma response. I’m waiting for this to be over. I’m so done with this shit. So done. God please put an end to this.

I’ve given it much thought and honestly, I’m not looking for anything much. I wanted to prove myself and that’s done. I want convention because I’ve had enough of this BS. I don’t want to be gaslighted ever again in this lifetime. I want to openly speak about what’s happening and what happened to whomever…

I had watched yeh Jawaani hai deewani many years ago. The only thing that stuck out to me in that movie is the scene where naina walked away from bunny. And also the songs. The sunset scene in that movie was inconspicuous to me. I didn’t know it existed until I watched it in the…

“You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes“ – Taylor Swift✨

I spoke the truth about so many people who sexually assaulted and misbehaved with me. Are you continuously sexually assaulting them and creating riots to torture and kill them? Or are you interested in doing those things only to me based a random stranger’s lies?

I clearly said, “Some things that our ancestors did we still carry forward because of its relevance.” Also, “Some of them paved the way for what we know and understand now.” The main focus of my blog was to speak about the cruelty and chaos that happened in the past. Because there was just so…

I’ve been asking what exactly am I waiting for and what’s been going on for so long. People conveniently ignore that. But if anyone wants to throw something on my face, “oh well, yes here you go”.

In case I want sex. I just have to download bumble, upload a picture and wait for one hour. My bumble will blow up like crazy. After that I just have to choose my favorite. If I want a pretty boy with a luxury car, I can easily and effortlessly get it. Most of the…

I cannot do more than this. I’m always generous with my compliments. My female friends have hyped me up my entire life. They have said so many things to me. They were always generous with their compliments. I’m a girl’s girl. I’ve had way too many friends. I think it’s because of what happened with…

I’m speaking the truth. Everything that I’ve said here is the truth. I cannot do more than this. You have to understand that I went through something serious my whole life and these last 3 years was hell. I didn’t deserve what happened in August and after that. Before people didn’t know me. But I…

Please keep me safe. Everyone knows everything about me and there are so many crazy people out there. Since whatever happened with Pettigrew, I overthink and spiral sometimes. I get really scared. I don’t think I will compliment anyone ever again. I have so many thoughts sometimes, it gets too heavy. I want to just…

I don’t know if the battle is over? I still see things online and it fucks me, so I vent vent vent. I’m a bit slow so I also speak about things that happened in the past because I didn’t speak about it in the past. Honestly, I’m so done speaking about it all. I…

My used worn out clothes and things, I usually put in the trash.

A working staff from my apartment stole my expensive bra 3 years ago. They are okay wearing my used bra but my brand new shoes that I kept in the manager’s office was termed as “garbage”. Also, I have been leaving things there based on the old manager’s word that he will donate it. He…

The old manager in my apartment told me, if I have clothes or anything else to donate I can leave it in his room. He said someone comes every Saturday and he’ll give it away to that person. So every time I don’t want something, I leave it in the manager’s room. I’ve been doing…

I’m sorry but it’s getting really frustrating as the days pass. Mother is really sick, I have to take her to the hospital. Also, I’m fed up of repeating the same things. It’s time to end this.

What the fuck am I waiting for? Can someone answer me what’s going on? What’s happening? When will this end? I’m fucking tired of waiting this way and doing absolutely nothing everyday. And repeating the same old BS again and again and again when the truth is already out long ago. What the fuck is…

I’ve already spoken about every single miniscule thing and repeated everything multiple times since August. The truth is already out long ago. I’ve already cleared my name. This needs to end. Stop making me repeat the same things again and again and again.

I’ve been straight for the last two years. Since mid 2023. I’m straight 95% of the time. I compliment everyone I speak to no matter who it is. I compliment everyone’s DP on WhatsApp before I text them. Every single person. It’s a normal texting protocol that everyone follows. Everyone who speaks to me compliments…

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for? Can someone answer me?