Category: Uncategorized
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Note.
I was the one who was harassed at the tattoo place and they were calling my reaction to harassment as harassment. I was treated so poorly and when I called to speak about it, I was treated poorly again. Till people learn to treat me right, I’m going to continue being vocal about every single…
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Note.
Even when the world was hurting me, I didn’t understand what was happening. I didn’t know she lied. It took me a long time to understand what was going on. Next time please remember this. … It took me more than a decade to understand what Voldemort did as well. I think God was preparing…
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Note.
Since she was standing sideways and I was sitting. She was standing with her hand in front of my face. When I looked down while speaking after looking at her sleeve, she must have assumed I was looking at her. It might have been a misunderstanding. She was projecting her feelings and seeing it in…
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If the whole world speaks to me directly, I’m scared I might die. I can’t do a lot of things like others. I have limitations and a lot of problems. I couldn’t handle whatever happened in August-October. I was going to fall on the road/floor and die several times. I’ve lost a lot of weight,…
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Please check my mygate conversation with someone called Ankan Roy from my apartment. I deleted it. But I think you can retrieve it from the data storage? He misbehaved with me and I gave it back nicely. This was in 2023. …
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Someone please ask the delivery partners who come to my house to not gaslight me intentionally. I’ve had enough of this BS.
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Note.
I want each and every person who did me wrong to face the full consequences of what they did to me. I want even Dudley to face the full consequences of what she did to me. I went through so much BS because of her. I want karma to hit her in full circle. I…
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Note.
Mother was constantly torturing me since this started because she wanted me to suffer and die. Father was constantly sexually assaulting me. Mother was also extremely jealous and she was continuously stabbing me for a reaction to fuck sympathy. Whenever I reacted, she would put on theatrics and the world hurts me for my reaction.…
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Note.
I’m not interested in repeating myself, hence I’m not. I don’t see a point dragging this. What the fuck am I waiting for?
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. It’s not going to change no matter how much you drag this shit. I’m not interested in repeating the same things forever. You didn’t drag things when people tortured me and wanted me dead. What the fuck am I waiting for now?
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Note.
I think the flower thing, I didn’t communicate it properly. At least I thought I did. This is what I was speaking about adapting to the changes. Because whatever I say gets amplified and ripples all over the world. And sometimes the message gets lost somewhere in the middle. It’s scary when you think about…
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Note.
I don’t understand what is the point to continue to taunt me and dragging this shit. The truth is already out long ago man. It’s time to end this. The truth is not going to change no matter how much you drag this. Understand when things have run its due course and end it. I’m…
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Author’s Note.
I’m taking a break for now. The waiting and everything is getting in my head. I’m anxious, angsty and feeling meh. Once this is over and I settle into my new life. I will brainstorm ideas on how to go about this and come back. I love you all so much. Take care. Rach. x…
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Note.
As I mentioned before, I’ve already spoken about every single thing and repeated it multiple times since August. I refuse to go round in circles about the same things. The truth is already in front of the world long back with valid and legit proofs. It’s time to end this. I’m not going to repeat…
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Note.
The only thing I said was I love thoughtful gifts compared to expensive meaningless gifts. I gave an example of roses somewhere in the middle. I don’t know how flowers got dragged into all this. I literally love flowers. People are just doing it for the gram and to defy me. I have nothing to…
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I’m not signing a contract with everyone I speak to, to be best friends forever. I’m allowed to take a step back, change my mind and disengage based on their behaviour and actions. When someone is clearly saying, “I’m not interested in speaking to you” and setting a clear verbal/non-verbal boundary, You are supposed to…
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Note.
When I said I hug strangers, it was contextual to what we were speaking and the flow of the conversation. I casually speak, compliment and hug while leaving and they hug me back. I’ve done that so many times. Everyone always likes me. … The monster at social used to wear really disgusting color lipstick.…
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Note.
Note. This is what I said, What I said was, I don’t want princess kinda treatment from my partner. I don’t want him to shower me with expensive meaningless gifts. I love thoughtful gifts and I’d rather have fun playful moments with him. I love flowers. You’re totally missing the point. Anyway. Do whatever. All…
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People only stand up for things that are convenient for them and don’t cause any trouble or draw attention to them. Like they assumed I don’t like flowers, so everyone posted pictures with flowers. Firstly, I love flowers a lot. Like A LOT. That blog wasn’t even about flowers. Not only are you totally missing…
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When I met Neethu last time, she took a selfie and in the selfie my top was shining. She suddenly flicked her eyes on the front of my tight tube top and looked for one second and said, “nice top, you look good” and smiled. This is the context. … If you take this out…
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PSA.
Instead of spending all that time and energy to defy me online. By sitting on the edge of your seats and reading between the lines, misinterpreting what I say, invading my space and boundaries without my consent and scavenging. Like middle school children. Please spend that time and energy to stand up for a cause,…
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Dear Diary.
No, it’s not me who is the problem. I should stop blaming myself. As long as I exist in this reality and double life, shit is going to keep happening. People are going to continuously take advantage of my helplessness. Disrespect, gaslight and mistreat me. I’ve done everything to get out of this shit. I…
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Dear Diary.
I think people have trouble apologizing. I called the tattoo place today, expecting an apology for the way I was treated last time and to resolve the conflict. But they shooed me away. The conversation kept going round in circles. It’s 10pm and I still have a headache. I’ve been calling park pub for the…
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Note.
In case you get cancer tomorrow. The peers who are pressurising you and you are trying to please, won’t give a flying fuck either. FYI. Your body, your mind, your choices is your responsibility and yours alone.
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Note.
2 years ago, I spoke about keeping roads clean. And people were intentionally littering in front of me. That’s the mentality of people. FYI. … I spoke about smoking and I clearly mentioned, “it’s upto you, if you want to take my advice or not. I’m just giving you free advice” But people were intentionally…
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There’s nothing wrong if you hype up authors and their books. Because there’s no such thing as a bad book. That’s not what bothers me. The reason and intention behind it matters. Also, invading my space and boundaries without my consent and doing it is wrong. Understand when something you are doing is wrong.
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If I want to get things done, I’ll just express my strong dislike for it. That’ll do the trick more than polite requests. So yeah, I hate clean roads, it’s absolutely disgusting when it’s clean. Humor me. :P
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That blog that I wrote was not even about flowers😂 But people assumed I don’t like flowers somehow by reading between the lines and started hyping it up. I clarified that I love flowers and gave an example of roses. So they started hyping up roses. Now I clarified that I love roses. Are you…
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I love roses. I literally even have a rose tattoo. FYI. I’m fed up with all these people sitting on the edge of their seats waiting to defy me. They act on misunderstandings, half truths, they read between the lines, misinterpret and so on. I say something, they hear something and it becomes something else…
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Note.
I would like my space, boundaries and privacy to be respected henceforth. People need to understand that they cannot invade my life to this extent. They are doing it without my consent. This is wrong and this needs to end. I don’t owe an explanation for everything that I do. I need my space and…
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Note.
Also, When I was speaking about the 3 star review of dead romantics, I didn’t take the name of the book in my video. I don’t remember why I returned those books. I don’t know if they were pirated or if the cover was damaged. But something was wrong. So many things were happening back…
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Note.
What exactly am I waiting for? What’s happening? When the world gang up to throw things on my face, it happens so quickly and it’ll be all over the place. When people wanted me dead and tortured me, it happened so quickly without stopping to ask what happened and my side of the story. Now…
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Note.
I don’t have money to take care of even my basic expenses. Can someone please explain to me what exactly am I waiting this way for? What’s going on? Please answer me!!! Why is no one saying anything? What exactly am I waiting for? I know the whole world is reading this, can someone answer…
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The truth is already out long ago. Can someone please explain to me what exactly am I waiting this way for? What’s happening?
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I love documenting my life on YouTube. But considering that everyone are watching my videos, it doesn’t make sense to continue. It’s awkward and embarrassing to do it in front of the world. I have learnt how to speak now, what to say, how to say and so on. But I should adapt to the…
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All youtubers/booktubers that I watch, shit talk about the books that they dislike, all the time openly. They give really low ratings, DNF and even unhaul them on camera. … But when I do the same, it’s not acceptable. When I speak about something that I dislike for valid reasons, the world glorifies it. When…
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Note.
I’ve complimented so many strangers and hugged them. I compliment everyone I speak to. I hug everyone I speak to (with consent). I’m really sweet. I’m not trying to self brag. I’m saying this because I always think from a place of love. Also, I don’t have certain human emotions. Everyone always likes me. But…
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I don’t dislike the color green. What I meant was, Her uniform was filthy and dirty. It used to look really bad. So when it changed to grey and it was new. It looked better. Not good, but better comparatively. Since grey is one of my favorite colors, I said the same. I said it…
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Note.
Can someone please explain to me what exactly am I waiting this way for? How many times do I need to ask? Can someone please respect me enough to answer my questions? What’s going on?
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Note.
I’m sorry, I think that sounded a bit mean? The thing is, It’s kinda awkward speaking about my silly little life and personal opinions to the world. Now that I know and I’m aware that everyone are reading/watching. … When I didn’t know what was happening, it was kinda fun and I loved doing it.…
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Note.
I no longer want to exist in this reality and double life. I no longer want to live in this house. I don’t even have a fucking phone and money to do anything. The whole world is benifiting out of me, why am I continuing to suffer this way? What exactly am I waiting for?…
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Note.
When the BS was going on 7 months ago, the newly joined watchman in my apartment stopped me when I was stepping out and looked at me and smiled like a creep for 1 minute. The lady working with him said to him that I live here. I went back to him and said, can…
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Note.
I remember now that I mentioned, I read a negative 3 start review of “dead romantics by Ashley poston” in one of my videos. But that’s not why I returned her books. I returned the books because I didn’t like the quality of those books. They were pirated copies. Later, I forgot about the whole…
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Note.
Whoever was controlling my content previously also created a bug in my site. When I write few paragraphs, my blog freezes and I can’t continue or edit. I have to exit the web page and open again for it to work. I was busy proving myself till now, so I didn’t have time to mention…
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Note.
I can’t do anything without my phone. I’m already suffering existing in this reality, I don’t have money for anything. Also, The truth is already out, so I don’t appreciate the taunting. Everyone knows I don’t deserve it. I can’t even read books because my books are tampered. Can someone please help to fix my…
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Note.
My phone is dead and not working. I don’t have money to fix it. As you know, I cannot do anything without my phone. I don’t have money to even buy shampoo or speak to my therapist. Also, Tomorrow is my birthday. Can someone please explain to me what’s happening and why I’m waiting this…
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Note.
I want Akash KM to face charges of false accusations and defamation and sexually assaulting me on WhatsApp by speaking about my cleavage. I want each and every person responsible to face charges.
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Note.
Can someone explain to me what exactly am I waiting for? What’s happening? … Also, I love flowers. I buy them for myself all the time. I didn’t say I don’t like them. I mentioned a guy can’t win me over by showering me with roses and expensive gifts. If he learns my favorite flower…
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Note.
I’m not going to repeat the same things over and over again, forever and ever. The truth is already out long ago, with valid and legit proofs. It’s time to end this. Thank you.
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Note.
The person who was controlling my content and surroundings previously, was creating intentional typos and psychologically assualting me multiple times over the years. They were doing a lot of shit for entertainment purposes and also torturing me like an animal. They were constantly trying to silence me too and bury the truth. I want them…
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Note.
I want varsha vinod to face charges for calling me a dead body twice. I want savitha nair to face charges for false accusations and defamation. Dhruv for multiple counts of sexual assaults and defamation. I want each and every person who spread slander to face the full consequences of what they did to me.
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Note.
I refuse to go around in circles everyday and speak about the same things. I’ve repeated everything multiple times since August. The truth is already out long ago. It’s time to end this.
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Note.
I’m openly bisexual. I’m not going to hurt anyone or do anything. Because I’m not attracted to women in real life and I’m straight 95% of the time. Also, I know the basic etiquette and mannerism. I don’t like every tom dick and harry. Even before I came out as bisexual, everyone knew about it.…
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Note.
Imagine you are a woman and you ask a guy working at a restaurant to take your picture. He oversteps your boundaries and dumps his trauma. He calls you “really hot”. Next time you see him. You tease him in a friendly way and he calls you home. You don’t take it seriously. He constantly…
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Note.
What exactly am I waiting for? The truth is already out long ago. What’s happening? Why is this prolonging?
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Note.
She was lusting, forcing and projecting like a creep and psychopath, since day one. I was keeping it platonic. I was constantly pushing her. If I was interested in her I would have taken up her invitation to go to her house, I would not have deleted her number and I would not have unfollowed…
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You know what the worst part is? I’m not even interested in women in real life and I’m straight 95% of the time. Most of the women out there are bisexual too or maybe half of them. They are within the closet. They are lying if they say otherwise. And I went through so much…
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I must have written 3 thousand blog posts. I have given so many analogies and examples. I randomly used the word chess like everything else I’ve said here. And my whole existence was questioned and people are still sticking onto that word like glue. I’m not the one playing games. I persisted and put an…
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How long will this one incident be pulled when everyone in this world does what I did? Why is no one else being questioned when clearly most of them are bisexual too? Why am I the target and in the spotlight? Everyone clearly knows she is a liar. How long will you pull this for?…
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Did I mention I was sitting on the chair and she was standing sideways with her hand in front of my face? I was sitting. I looked for a fraction of second at her sleeve after that I looked down while speaking. My eyes was exactly at her sleeve. It was contextual. Everyone in this…
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Note.
I want the crochet place to face charges for false accusations, defamation, unethical behaviour, cheating me with my money, verbally abusing me. I want the dentists to face charges for unethical behaviour and defamation. I want each and every person who spread slander to face charges of defamation and false accusations. I have taken names…
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Note.
Father has sexually assaulted me my entire adult life. I wanted to die my whole life. I was on the verge of dying so many times. I’ve even felt like stabbing him when I was in the previous house. But I held on. The police made him to continuously sexually assault me again. That was…
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Note.
I’ve complimented almost every single person I’ve met. I have a habit of hyping up people and empathizing. I ask a lot of questions. Everyone always likes me. I don’t think too much into it. … When I was sexually assaulted at the restaurant, I didn’t understand why it happened. It happened so many times…
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Note.
Her uniform was the really bad green one. It used to look really bad. When it changed to grey, it looked so much better. It was not good but it was so much better than the previous one. She was cribbing since day 2. I always empathize with people. So I complimented. It wasn’t really…
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Note.
Can someone answer me what exactly am I waiting for? What’s going on? Please stop keeping me in the dark and tell me what’s happening. I’m fucking tired of waiting this way. The truth is already out long ago. What’s happening? Tell me!!!
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Note.
I’ve been speaking about projection since 2022. Since when Varsha Vinod called me a dead body at office. Most of my ideas are original and I’m the one making the impact. I don’t understand why people are trying to say someone else said this and said that and giving dates and showing old videos etc.…
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Dear Diary.
I was listening to ‘Can’t catch me now by Olivia Rodrigo’ while walking, whenever I listen to it, I feel like breaking into a run when she hits the high note towards the end. I can’t fr but imagine it in my head and feel like I’m flying. ‘Out of the woods by Taylor Swift’…
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When people go out of their way to give negative comments, express hatred and throw things on your face. It doesn’t say anything about you, but says everything about them. It’s a reflection of their insecurities and unhealed trauma and wounds. Probably even jealousy. Which they are projecting onto you in the form of hatred…
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I’m speaking the truth. I’ve already proved it long ago as well and cleared my name. The truth is not going to change, no matter how much this is dragged. This is prolonging unnecessarily. Everyone knows she’s a liar. It’s time to end this. Someone please step up and put an end to this. Stretching…
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself more than enough and cleared my name. Can someone please step up and put an end to this abnormal and unnecessary scrutiny? This is being stretched unnecessarily. I’m tired of feeling suicidal. Can someone please step up and ask them (whoever is responsible) to put an end to this? Please help…
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Note.
The truth is already out months ago but the torture doesn’t stop. When people wanted me dead it happened quickly without a second thought. Meaning. My life is not important and my side of the story is not important. But someone else’s life is so important that, even after getting to know that they are…
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Note.
Reading something because you like it makes sense. Reading something so that you can throw it on my face because I expressed a personal opinion. Or based on assumptions by invading in my personal space without my consent. Even after clearly saying, there’s no such thing as a bad book, just right book wrong time.…
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Please stop making me repeat the same things everyday. Stop going round in circles about the same things. The truth is already out long ago. Move on and put an end to this. …
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I’ve already cleared everything long ago with valid proofs. Everyone clearly knows that I’m innocent too. I’m not going to repeat the same things every day. The truth is already in front of the world. So please stop stretching this shit unnecessarily and playing twisted mind games. Whatever I’m going through because I’m bisexual since…
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I’ve already given more than enough proofs to solidify the fact that I’m not interested in that person at all. I’ve given more than enough proofs to clear my name as well. I’ve cleared every miniscule tiny detail. Please put an end to this. I’m fed up.
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Note.
For heaven’s sake stop dragging shit when the truth is already out. Please put an end to this.
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Note.
Everyone knows about the below incident, “In 2008, Robert Pattinson took his stalker out to dinner.” … Peter Pettigrew is a psychopathic sociopathic monstrous creepy fan. A vulture and predator. A malicious pathalogical liar. Period. I’ve already spoken about everything that happened and clarified every miniscule thing multiple times. I refuse to go around in…
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Note.
Please google the word “promise”. I don’t think the person who is repeatedly using the word “fake promise” understands the meaning of that word. When someone is a stranger everyone are always polite. When we get to know someone is a predator and a psychopath, we are allowed to take a step back from that…
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Celebrities sometimes take their creepy stalkers out for dinner. That’s not called as fake promise FYI. When someone forces them too much and stalks them, they take pity and ask for courtesy. When they get to know their stalker is a psychopath and a predator, they take a step back. No one uses the word…
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Note.
What exactly am I waiting for? I no longer want to live in this house with that man. I no longer want to exist in this reality. I’ve spoken about every single thing. Why is this prolonging? Please put an end to this. I don’t have money to take care of my basic expenses. I…
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Note.
I didn’t know that Pettigrew lied about me. It took me a long time to understand what was going on and why people were attacking me and wanting me dead. Unless and until you tell me what’s going on and clarify things with me, I won’t know what’s going on. So next time incase something…
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Note.
Before I didn’t have the ability to understand lying, manipulations, betrayal, sexual assault, rape, gaslighting etc. I didn’t know anything about the world. I loved everything and everyone platonically. I thought everyone are good. My mind was not developed and I had the understanding of a toddler. I couldn’t speak as well. I felt things…
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Note.
I asked Dumbledore on day one itself, “why are people speaking to me that way.” But he fucked up. He kept saying, “let them speak that way, you take medicines you are sick.” I asked him again and again and again. Whenever I went to see him I asked him. 6 years ago after the…
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Note.
Voldemort paved the way and it was a win win situation for the death eaters. They could do whatever the fuck they wanted and conveniently turn tables and the world conveniently believes them. When they speak to me, they get perks for speaking to me. When they use horcrux and I react, they get perks…
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Note.
That’s exactly what Lucius did as well. And everyone else who took Voldemort’s place as a death eater. Lucius told me she likes Lockhart and then made it look like I’m doubting her in front of the world. She did everything in her power to bring me down and get me out of the way…
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Note.
When my friends hurt me, with a horcrux or otherwise. I usually let things slide and forgive. Depending on the friendship. Because my threshold is really high. I guess people usually don’t do this. I think people usually stop talking or speak back. That’s the intention of using the horcrux. This is where it is…
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Note.
I saw a clip of nocturnal animals movie online and read about it on wikipedia. I usually read about movies on wikipedia when the movies are too triggering to watch. I had a nightmare exactly like the movie just now. I’m so scared, I can’t go back to sleep. I’m literally losing it. I don’t…
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Note.
My whole life people have been hurting me based on someone else’s manipulations, lies, assumptions and insecurities, my reactions and retaliations. My whole life. People have been treating me worse than an animal and torturing me my whole life. Now that the truth is out and real culprits are out. Where are all these people…
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Note.
All this started when varsha vinod called me a dead body because of her insecurities. I said to her, she looks different in a positive manner because of her hair and clothes. But she twisted it negatively. I had mentioned to her I don’t like any women in office because no one is my type.…
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Note.
What exactly am I waiting for? When people wanted me dead and tortured me, everything happened so quickly without stopping for a clarification or asking my side of the story. The truth is out long ago. What exactly is happening?
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Note.
Whatever happened to me cannot be forgiven even by God. That’s why the truth is in front of the whole world. I want each and every person who did me wrong to face the full consequences of what they did to me. I no longer want to live in this house with that man. I…
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Note.
Father has sexually assaulted me my entire adult life and I wanted to die my whole life. The police made him to sexually assault me again. The cruelity that I went through was insane. ..
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Note.
I met so many vultures who were forcing and lusting like psychopaths. Deepak GS, Dhruv, Pettigrew, monster at social, stalker old man etc. They were monstrous. God the hell that I went through. On top of all this, My parents were torturing me inhumanly at home and the world was continuously hurting me based on…
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Note.
I messed up the timeline a bit. Ginny said she’s in love with me on 2nd june 2023. At that time I was in talking stage with Nishant, but after she said that I couldn’t speak to him properly. In the end we stopped speaking. I asked Ginny what does that reel mean but she…
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Note.
This topic has passed it’s expiry date and it’s stinking. The truth is already out and I’ve already cleared my name. It’s time to end this. Now it’s plain annoying to make me repeat the same things over and over again. Understand when things have reached it’s due time. If this is how the law…
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Note.
I’ve already spoken about this incident and every single thing multiple times. I’m not going to repeat it again and again and again. Do you have trouble understanding english or is your brain not developed? The truth is already in front of the world man. It’s time to take action to end this. Stop picking…
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Note.
There was no weirdness to the conversation, it was in flow and contextual to what she was speaking since day 2. She was lusting, forcing and projecting since day one. She was forcing me because I’m openly bisexual like a monstrous flesh eating vulture. She was hurting me for not complying to her pathalogical force.…
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Note.
I didn’t compliment her tshirt btw. I just complimented the color. I’ve already spoken about it multiple times. Please go back and read. I said, I like the color it looks better than your previous uniform. I also said, the color is good but it looks like an uncle’s tshirt.
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Note.
People are bullshiting in front of the world. Please understand what’s happening at least now. Please don’t believe anything you hear about me, good or bad. Unless I say it. I’ve spoken about everything and cleared my name and proved my innocence and truth. I cannot exist in this reality and house anymore. Please put…
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Note.
The world has been hurting me my entire life based on someone else’s lies, manipulations, assumptions, insecurities, my reactions and retaliations. My whole life. It has been beyond traumatic. Also, the false empathy and so much bullshit. It took me three years to clear each and every thing. Atleast now please learn your lesson. Please…
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Note.
I don’t know what exactly I’m waiting for. I’ve already spoken about every single miniscule thing and proved myself more than enough. When people wanted me dead and tortured me like barbaric cavemen. Everything happened so quickly without stopping for a minute or asking my side of the story. Now that the truth is out…
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Note.
Dudley never saw me as a sister. She always saw me as a competition. She was in an extremely toxic and unhealthy competition with me since childhood because of her bitchy mother. That’s why she twisted my good gestures negatively. She was extremely jealous of me since childhood too. Literally so toxic. .. And people…
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Dear Diary.
I had a dream last night that Draco came to my apartment to see me. We were catching up on everything that happened since we last spoke. Then I woke up. Since the last time I dreamt about Draco, I’m no longer angry at him. And now this dream. I don’t know what it all…
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Quote of the day.
“ Bet you thought I’d never do it Thought it’d go over my head I bet you figured I’d pass with the winter Be somethin’ easy to forget Oh, you think I’m gone ’cause I left “ – Olivia Rodrigo.
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Note.
My family was in the spotlight and we went through tremendous pain and suffering because of the situation we were in. Voldemort ruined our life. Now finally things seems to be fixed. But in reality things are never fixed and sorted for good. We are always going to relapse as long as we are in…
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Note.
Father stamping me with his leg on my stomach with full force cannot be forgotten. Even if he apologized and I pretend like it didn’t happen. He has done so many things to me. The numerous sexual assaults, the domestic abuses, the verbal abuses and the monstrous violent anger. We pretend like it didn’t happen…
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Dear Diary.
I hope this gets over before my birthday. My birthday is an other regular day but having some peace would be a good birthday gift. I don’t think I can take this any longer. I’m depleted and beyond exhausted. When I was out soaking sunlight today morning, I was thinking it would be so wonderful…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. I’ve given more than enough proofs and spoken about every single miniscule thing. Every single person in this world knows that I’m innocent. There’s literally no point stretching this any further than this. I don’t deserve the life I’ve had. Atleast now, please put an end to this…
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Note.
Ginny saying she wants to marry me is called as a promise. Ginny saying that she’ll meet me when she’s in Bangalore is called as a promise. Me saying that I’m going to love her till the very end is called as a promise. … Asking a creepy fan to join me when I was…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. I don’t understand why people are sending cats whenever I go out for walks. And sending me game text messages. My books are still not changed back. I’ve already spoken about every single thing and proved myself more than enough. What the fuck is happening and why the…
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Note.
When you act on a misunderstanding and hurt someone intentionally, it’s going to sever the relationship. Later, when you realise it’s a misunderstanding and repent or even try to reconcile, the relationship isn’t going to be the same as before. There’s a possibility that person won’t take you back. It can even have repercussions beyond…
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Quote of the day.
“ Did you think we’d be fine? Still got scars on my back from your knife So don’t think it’s in the past, these kinda wounds they last and they last Now did you think it all through? All these things will catch up to you And time can heal but this won’t, so if…
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Note.
Moana shree knew I was really drunk, it was her idea to take pictures and she was the one who asked me to kiss her cheek while taking selfie. I want her to face charges of false accusations and malevolence. Also, assualting me at the pub in toit. … Someone was trying to hide the…
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Note.
Anusha ashok sexually assaulted once 6 years ago, btw. She looked exactly at my cleavage for few seconds with a creepy expression without context. She is a lesbian and she has told me many times that I’m pretty, again and again and again. … So many women and most men have sexually assaulted me too.…
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Note.
Please ask the prison school what did they do after they silenced me. Then we’ll speak about my reaction to inhuman torture. … I told you about the blouse incident with sister. I asked sister where she bought the blouse while looking at the back of her blouse. And we were speaking about the design…
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Note.
I tried reading catching fire today and it triggered me badly. I have a headache now and I cried few times. I don’t know why people are doing this. Giving the negative characters the characteristics of my past misunderstandings or something that I said or did in a negative way. Or even incorporating the word…
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Note.
I had so much anger inside me since when I got to know about the betrayal. I had negative thoughts that I don’t want to speak into existence. I poured my heart out again, went out for walks and listened to my angry playlist. I kept biting the inner part of my lips to control…
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Dear Dairy.
I was thinking about what Hazel says to Augustus about oblivion. It used to bother me before because I always had so much to say. So many things that happened to me that no one knew about. There was so much I wanted to add to the world. I have this innate impulse of fixing…
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Note.
I had lot of problems at home and I was really fucked up most of the time in the past. 46 is the only park here. I always sit at the corner table because I wanted to look at the trees and calm down and recharge with nature. I love parks, when I was in…
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Note.
There was a person who was following me on Instagram. His name is susheer zindage or something. He is from my college so I said hey. He sent me flirty messages. So I blocked him. Because that was the time when I was speaking to Ginny. After Ginny left to Canada, during my serial dating…
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Note.
How many times do I have to repeat the same things? The truth is already on the table. It’s time to take action to end this. .. I need to take mother to the hospital. Her lower lip is swollen and badly cut. I don’t have money for it. … I don’t have money to…
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Note.
Father apologized what he did, today morning. He rarely does that. I don’t know. I still want some distance from them.
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Note.
2 years ago when parents were torturing me, someone called mother on the phone and asked her to psychologically assualt me. I don’t know who it was. Also, Dumbledore clearly knew what parents were doing. When I had tonsils and parents were torturing me, I called Dumbledore and told him what they did. He knew.…
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Note.
My head, chest and stomach is hurting after whatever father did today. He is a patriarchal malayali man who doesn’t have any sense that he is not supposed to hit a woman.
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Note.
One day I was going out for walk. The window was open. So when I closed the bedroom door, the door banged hard because of wind. Father was sitting on the couch bubbling with anger and when the door closed hard, he threw the remote in anger. I got angry and shouted at him asking…
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Note.
I think father hit Aaru that day. Because I immediately went outside and brought Aaru inside my room. We watched songs on laptop. Aaru was extremely dull and not herself. I kept asking what happened, but she brushed it off. I tried to cheer her up. … Whenever Aaru gets hurt, she never speaks about…
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Note.
Father one day fought with Aaru as well. I think he hit her when she was annoying him. I heard mother say, “Don’t do to them what you did to your children”. I heard them fighting over it and mother crying. I immediately called sister and told her. Mother came inside and told me, it…
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Note.
Someone please help me. Please give me what I asked for. I cannot live in this house with that man anymore. Please put an end to my suffering at least now. Please help me.
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Note.
Because I verbally abused father, he hit mother on her mouth and hand. Mother’s mouth and hand is bleeding and swollen. He is never going to change.
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Note.
Today my neices were not watching cartoons and getting bored. So I asked father give me the remote to play songs. I played the song that Aaru wanted to watch and gave the remote to father and was going to go inside. Father exited the song and was going to change it to cartoon. I…
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Note.
Stop dragging this. This needs to stop. I’ve spoken about everything multiple times again and again and again. I don’t fucking deserve this shit. Please put an end to this. I can’t exist in this reality or in this house anymore. Please stop.
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Note.
She asked me to go to her house 6 times I think. Starting from day 2 continuously every single time she spoke to me. I didn’t take it seriously at first. I pushed her and said a clear no. As I mentioned. Because her energy was off. She was forcing even after that. When I…
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Note.
My family and all my friends have looked at my chest and body contextually my entire life. And complimented me. … I don’t see anyone questioning them or sexually assaulting them for months together based on what they do. But I’m being taunted and sexually assaulted and tortured about it for 8 months again and…
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Note.
The truth is already out. I’ve cleared my name long back. Stop pulling this forever and ever. This has been going on since last 8 months. I’ve cleared every single miniscule thing. Stop making me repeat the same thing over and over and over again. This needs to stop. You need to question the people…
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Note.
Since day 2 the only topic of discussion was her uniform and the politics of the restaurant. I wasn’t interested at all. She was forcing herself in my life and dumping. I was constantly telling her, “speak to your manager and you are so lucky to work at such a good place. The ambience is…
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Note.
I clearly said I love grey because of BJ in my video too. I already showed you the video. I took that video before meeting her, FYI. You can check the timelines. …
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Note.
I love grey because of BJ and christian. I liked it before reading MPU too. But love it because of them. I copy everything that BJ and Magnolia do. I even have a bumble bee tattoo, I love them so much. I’m not going to stop liking grey because I know my truth and I’m…
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Note.
Also, I request people once again, to stop referencing me by wetting your lips and putting your tongue out. I’m not an animal or an alien. Please respect me. Whatever I did is a normal reaction to abnormal torture. Please for heaven’s sake stop copying that. …. As I mentioned previously, I’m waiting for the…
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Note.
Also, Please don’t try to lure me or make a move on me. Because I’m genuinely not interested. I will be taking actions and speaking up, if someone crosses my boundaries and space again. I know I’m repeating myself, I’m making things extremely squeaky clear. After whatever I faced throughout my life, whatever I’m doing…
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Note.
My YouTube and blog and other socials are the only places I’m available to public. I will always help as much as I can. If I have something of value to add to the world, I will definitely do it in these platforms. I no longer want to be watched this way. I want my…
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Note.
Life is like a dance. If you know when to take a step forward and when to take a step back. And maintain the peace and harmony. It’s easy to ride the wave. …
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Note.
Everyone wanted me dead and tortured me inhumanly like an animal right? Throughout my life. Again and again and again and again. Without stopping for a minute and asking my side of the story. Now that the real culprits are out. No one wants anyone dead? I don’t see any riots on the road too.…
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Note.
When I was on the verge of dying with tonsils, I went to Apollo hospital. They have first come first serve policy and don’t consider appointments. So I went there half an hour early. Because I was in a lot of pain and going to die and wanted to meet doctor asap. I was waiting…
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Note.
What exactly am I waiting for? Can you stop keeping me in the dark and tell me what’s going on?
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Note.
I’ve gone to 46 so many times since I moved to EC 4 years ago. Whenever I had problems at home or bored at home, I go there or to BLR. The staff there were always so nice. When I had tonsils for a year, they would give me hot water without asking. Everyone were…
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Note.
I compliment everyone I speak to. I compliment and hug even strangers outside. No one has said anything till now. But now I’m getting so scared to do that. I don’t feel good about it. It’ll take me sometime to forget the trauma.
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Note.
The satisfaction that I got by sending “IDGAF by dua lipa” to Lockhart and the perfect man when they tried to rekindle is unmatched. There were others too who tried to kiss my ass when I became successful. I gave it back nicely to everyone. If you’ve ever treated me like shit, please don’t show…
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Note.
Whatever Sunny Joseph did since day one was unethical and wrong. He sucked as a therapist. He didn’t do his job right or help me. When I went to meet Dumbledore whatever he said to me and the way he behaved was wrong. He said, you are going to meet a man with bed in…
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Note.
I’m already extremely stressed out waiting this way in this double life with no answers. On top of that my family adds to the trauma. Father is angry 247 and dysfunctional. He makes a big fuss about turning on the lights every single day. If I turn on one light in the bedroom it’s too…
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Note.
I can no longer exist in this reality and in this house. I don’t have money to take care of my basic expenses. I’ve already proved myself more than enough. I cannot take this any further than this. Everyone in this world knows that I’m innocent. Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m…
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Note.
I don’t have money to buy shampoo and even take care of my basic expenses. I don’t have money to speak to my therapist. What exactly am I waiting for? Why is this prolonging? Can someone answer me?
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Note.
I’m sorry that I’m bringing up things from the past. It’s a moo point now because white is like my favorite color. It’s done and dusted. But some things bother me so much even now. I guess it’s a part and parcel of creating content and I literally signed up for it. Honestly, some people…
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Note.
I’m not going to read again till the triggering contents of the books I’ve finished so far are changed back to neutral. Even the H&M comment by Magnolia in “the long way home”. Every single thing. Because I don’t deserve it one bit. I want to read the books I finished in the past once…
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Note.
I hate it when people encroach my privacy and space and assume shit based on whatever I do. Later, hype up those things and throw it on my face. Like they are literally so jobless. I agree, I made a DNF video by copying other booktubers when I was a newbie. I agree, I said…
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Note.
Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for? What’s going on? Someone please answer me.
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Note.
I’ve been feeling extremely suicidal since this started. I don’t have money to take care of my basic expenses or even talk to my therapist. I’ve already proved myself more than enough. Why is this prolonging? Everyone knows that I’m innocent. When people wanted me dead and tortured me, everything happened so quickly without a…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. Every single person in this world knows that I’m innocent. Please put an end to this scrutiny and inhuman torture. No one else can exist in my shoes even for a minute. Please end this. I don’t deserve this. I don’t have money to take care of my…
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself more than enough and spoken about every single thing. I no longer want to be watched this way. I want my space, privacy and boundaries to be respected. I do not wish to exist in this reality and in this house any longer. I want what I asked for as well.…
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Note.
Also, It’s basic understanding that there’s two sides to the story right? I have been screaming please ask me what happened since I started writing here. Why were people so busy hurting and torturing me like cavemen without clarifying things ? This is 2025 man not stone age. Next time if and when someone lies…
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Note.
Since I clearly said whatever I did was contextual in the beginning itself and cleared it. She exaggerated and manipulated that innocent incident so badly and I was questioned about it for 6 months again and again and again. This is the only thing that she had against me, so she added pepper, chilli and…
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself more than enough. Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for? Why is this prolonging? I no longer want to live in this house and exist in this reality.
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Dear Diary.
I’m out on a walk. I remembered the FMC in white nights bro zoning the narrator and then accepting his love when she got stood up. Later, when the guy she is in love with turns up, she abandoned the narrator in a jiffy and again goes back to bro zoning him. Lol. She played…
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Note.
Every single time I have confronted mother these last 3 years, about father or whatever she was doing. She has wet her lips and put her tongue out. I remember her doing this multiple times. You can watch the video recordings. I’m sure I was being watched.
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Note.
The truth is already out. Please stop prolonging this unnecessarily for no reason whatsoever. I’ve had a very difficult life and I don’t deserve this BS. Everyone clearly knows that I’m innocent. There is no point dragging this. Please put an end to this. No one in this world can survive in my shoes even…
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Note.
3 years ago, I kept asking mom what exactly happened in the past. When I used to question her continuously, she would do the same thing that I did. She would wet her lips and put her tongue out. You can check this, I don’t know if I was watched then. Whatever I did is…
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Note.
If Dumbledore told the world he already knew what I proved here, he’s lying. Please don’t believe him. He really did fuck up, I saw the truth clearly on his face. He is taking credit for my smartness.
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Note.
I’ve already given more than enough proofs and proved myself more than required. Every single person in this world knows that I’m innocent and I’m speaking the truth. There’s literally no point stretching this any further than this. Please put an end to this.
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Note.
As I mentioned previously, Please stop referencing to me by my reaction to torture. By wetting your lips and putting your tongue out. It’s really jarring. Please stop doing that. At this point, I don’t think anyone has to make it clear that they are talking about me. So going the extra mile by coping…
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Note.
My parents were torturing me because they wanted me to suffer and die continuously for years. I was really fucked up most of the time at home. But when I go out, I know the basic etiquette and mannerism when I’m speaking to someone. I have not done anything with my lips in front of…
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Note.
I’m sure I was watched since a long time. Considering whatever is happening. Please check if I have done anything with my lips then. Because I have not. I started doing that because of the scrutiny 5 months ago. It is a reaction to torture. I stopped few weeks ago. You can check. I don’t…
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Note.
I want to read the books that I finished once again without the taunting before I read any new books. So please change the books back. Till then I’m not going to read. It’s extremely traumatizing because they are my favorite books. …. I’m waiting for what I asked for. I’ve cleared every miniscule thing.…
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Note.
If anyone I spoke the truth about are ‘beloved people’. Please ask the ‘beloved people’ to behave. I’m speaking the truth based on my personal first hand experience with them. This is how they treated me and what they did to me. And wrong is wrong. …. People think they can do whatever the fuck…
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Note.
I’m not going to read again till the triggering contents of my books are changed back. As I mentioned multiple times previously. Whoever is making my niece to ask me to read, I request you to please stop. Because a no is a no. Period. Please stop involving my niece in this. …. I don’t…
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Note.
Every single person in this world knows that I’m innocent, it’s time to move on. Stop pulling this unnecessarily. The scrutiny that I’m going through just because I’m bisexual will go down in history for the barbarism. Even after clearing my name. I’ve already spoken about everything and proved it. Move on please.
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Note.
I never hurt anyone intentionally. I never think anything bad about anyone. I’m always minding my own business. I keep my side of the street clean. When I hurt people unintentionally or unknowingly, I always apologize. I don’t have certain human emotions. I always think from a place of love. Hence I always rise above…
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Note.
If you fuck with me. You are signing up for your destruction. You cannot destroy a person with God’s presence. Period. So please think twice before you do it. You can be rest assured that I won’t start shit. So please don’t start shit. Because I won’t rest till I end it.
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Note.
Please watch my YouTube videos once again from the beginning. Please do this. I use sentences like, “I love ….” “I really like …..” “that’s so beautiful/cute” etc multiple times. That’s how I speak. That’s my speaking style. I’ve been making videos since 3 years. I met the person in question last year march I…
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Dear Dairy.
1.13AM. I just woke up because mosquitoes. God. Anyway. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I haven’t complained about people who were good to me here. I have not said anything about their secrets that they confided too because it’s not mine to share. I might not be in touch with them but I…
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Note.
I gave you the example of what mother did by taking it out of context. Imagine she is scrutinized inhumanly again and again and again for that incident. And every time she tries to put things in context and clarify, people call her smooth, gaming, lying, Pinocchio etc. On top of that, she’s tortured in…
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Note.
I was crying most of the time when I was sitting at that restaurant thinking about Ginny and whatever I was going through. It’s like a park. I would sit at the corner seat and cry. Everyone knew what I was going through. It wasn’t a secret. I was minding my own business the entire…
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Note.
Also, Please don’t try to lure me and make a move on me. I’m not interested. I’ve been painfully clear on who I’m interested in. Please keep it platonic. Everyone in my community are my friends. But on a personal front it’s totally different, please remember this. Please respect my space and boundaries. Please remember…
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Note.
People do whatever fuck they want with me and they conveniently turn the table and the world conveniently believes them. People feel it’s okay to cross my boundaries and encroach my space. Because with me they don’t have to face any consequences. They feel it’s okay to gaslight me, assualt me and harass me and…
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Note.
I have more things which are grey. My comforter is grey and red. The cushion on my chair is grey. My bottle is grey. And so many other clothes and things which I threw away in the past. …. She was cribbing about her uniform since day 2 and drawing attention to her uniform and…
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Note.
Further proof to prove that grey is one of my favourite color. You can check the date when the picture was taken, it was before her uniform changed.
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Note.
Few weeks ago, sister was standing outside with parents and niece. When I saw her, I noticed cement on the back of her jeans. I pointed and said, “cement”. She started dusting her jeans. Mother looked at her jeans and started rubbing it with her dupatta. This was the context. …. If you take this…
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Note.
I’ve proved myself more than enough. I cannot read a book again until the contents are changed back. I don’t think I can again because I’m extremely suicidal just thinking about it. If anything needs to be communicated, it can be communicated online through reels. I don’t understand why I’m waiting. I’ve given so many…
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Note.
I do understand the misunderstandings that each person might have had. When I try to think from their shoes and from a bigger picture. But that’s no excuse for them to behave how they did. They were evil, period. No amount of misunderstandings can justify their actions. The worst part? I tried to clear things…
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Note.
Honestly, I didn’t even know people considered me as Jesus and how serious all this was. Because I didn’t know what exactly was going on. I was reacting to the gaslighting by affirming my truth again and again. Because it was psychological assualt and harassment. It’s brutally cruel when people do it. Fucks me up…
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Note.
My stamina really sucks. I was getting stronger but since I was scrutinized so many times, I started feeling weak again. Now I just don’t feel energetic and sometimes I don’t feel healthy. I walk like a grandma at times. Also, goodbye gym. I’ve lost so much weight as well. The bones on my chest…
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Dear Dairy.
I deleted Will’s number and removed all traces of his number from my phone. I have no way of contacting him again. I keep feeling it’s wrong to text him even though we are just friends. I spoke to him couple of times because I have no one to speak to and he’s one of…
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Note.
When things happen at the right time in your life. You have to work alongside God to make it happen. By fighting for what you want and taking action. You can’t stay stagnant and expect things to ring your doorbell when you are rotting on the couch.
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Dear Dairy.
I’m feeling restless again. Some days are so restless with all the love that I feel and no where for it to go. No, most days. I haven’t kissed anyone since I fell sick (except the one time which isn’t counted). Don’t feel like it with anyone else. Tbh, I don’t even know if I…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. I don’t understand how much this will be stretched unnecessarily? When people wanted me dead and tortured me, everything happened so quickly. The truth is out months ago and people are still sitting on the cow dung and picking at breadcrumbs. This needs to end once and for…
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Note.
Let’s make this extremely clear. I don’t bite my lips in anyone’s presence. I don’t have that habit at all. I did that more than a decade ago while reading twilight. That’s it. The end. I was biting my lips 5 months ago because I was scrutinized inhumanly. Which is a normal reaction to abnormal…
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Note.
I haven’t gloated about anything till date. Neither have I played any games. People are playing games, lying and manipulating and what not. All I’ve done is persist and show the truth. They started shit and I ended it. That’s all. I’m not dead because I’m good at things. Everyone clearly knows it because my…
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Note.
I don’t understand why I’m made to repeat the same thing over and over and over again. It’s so easy for people to lie about me. Do you see how easy it is? Voldemort paved the way and the death eaters just have to follow when they are bitter, jealous, when they want to save…
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Note.
She spoke to me in march or april. Her uniform changed around july I think. Since she was cribbing I looked at the color and complimented because it’s one of my favorite color. I didn’t slide my eyes on her body. I looked at her sleeve, she was standing sideways with her sleeve in front…
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Note.
I’m speaking the truth. Everything I’ve said here is the truth. I don’t understand why I’m made to repeat the same things over and over again. I’ve given valid proofs for everything. Why the fuck is this prolonging?
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Note.
After I asked Dumbledore, does everyone think I’m sexually attracted to them? His expression changed. Because I think I framed the question wrong. So I clarified immediately saying whatever sunny joseph did. My question was within context of what sunny joseph did. You can go back and watch the video. I’m sure I was recorded.
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Note.
I didn’t understand why I was sexually assaulted. That’s why I called her after going home. If I knew she lied, I would have spoken the entire truth on day one itself. But I didn’t understand it until later on. No one said anything to me and I didn’t get it.
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Note.
The only reason I asked her out of courtesy to meet was because she gave me something to eat when I went there. When someone is a stranger everyone are always polite. So I caved and tried being friends because of the forcing. But once I understood her true colors and true intentions I took…
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Note.
Firstly there was no friendship, she dumped her trauma on me when I asked her to take my picture and started lusting. After that, she kept forcing the friendship and inviting me to her house and outside like a psychopath. I deleted her number, declined her invitations, never approached her, pushed her. Because her energy…
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Note.
I picked up the invisible life of Addie from where I left off. I don’t understand why I’m reminded of the same thing over and over and over again in books. I do understand that I’m being taunted by words like slide, smooth, grey, cat, pleasure, promise, biting of lips, tracing freckles, lie, paved etc.…
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself enough. Every single person in this world knows that I’m innocent. Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for?
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Note.
I’ve proved myself enough. I cannot exist this way any further. I want what I asked for. I don’t understand why I’m waiting this way?
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Note.
I read white nights yesterday. If people are changing the contents of my book to empathize with me. It’s not working. It is doing quite the contrary, it is traumatizing me further every time I read. Please stop doing this. Please just stop. I’m the kind of person who likes to keep moving forward in…
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Note.
When I called them for a refund. The crotchet class begged me to take up classes with the manager or other timings and asked me to think about it. I called back and said no. They did not send me a full refund. I called back again for a full refund and they disconnected my…
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Note.
I had a doubt while crocheting. I couldn’t continue with the crochet until I knew what I should do next. So I looked at the teacher and raised my hand which was within context. I was already anxious because it was a new place and traumatized by the teacher’s unethical behaviour initially and I had…
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Note.
Before dating Ginny, I dated perfect man. I already told you about him. I started watching YouTube while dating him because he wanted to go to Canada. I started watching people in Canada and booktubers and felt like doing it too. That’s when I had the idea that I should do YouTube and get a…
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Note.
I can’t blame the man at the reception of California burrito alone for staring at my cleavage. Because most of the men and so many women do it too. That’s why I didn’t speak about him before. So many people have done it since I started dressing hot 3 years ago. So many. It’s like…
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Note.
As I mentioned previously, I always say sorry 2 times. Once, after I realise I fucked up. Also, After the wildfire it caused and when I see the repercussions and unintentional hurt that I caused. I genuinely feel sorry again and apologize once again.
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Note.
Saying sorry doesn’t mean that you are weak or you’re bending your knees in front of someone. It shows strong character to understand and acknowledge that you are human and you aren’t perfect. And sometimes humans fuck up and it caused hurt and repercussions. For which you are sorry and putting your ego aside and…
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Note.
Ginny was friendzoning me 3 years ago because everyone could read my messages. Before that, she would say so many things to me. We were so close. She suddenly changed, it was because people got involved and shit happened. I didn’t understand what happened back then. I got it later on, after couple of months.…
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Note.
I don’t know if Ginny was really going to get married or she simply said that. Whenever I met someone these last 3 years, I kept thinking I’d rather have a labelless relationship with Ginny or I should have gone to her house or something about her. I just couldn’t be present with them. Nothing…
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Note.
When I joined Shaadi.com initially 3 years ago, I started receiving requests from profiles with pictures of really good looking men. But when I spoke to them, I found out that they were fake profiles. There were so many like this. Back then, men weren’t interested in me like how they are now. That’s when…
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Note.
I’ve said it before, saying it again. Most of the hurt in this world is caused by people acting on misunderstandings. I wish people gave the benefit of doubt and asked for a clarification more often. Instead of sparring. Misunderstandings are seen through the lens of assumptions and insecurities. Acting on the misunderstanding is projecting…
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Note.
Sometimes even I behave like a 2 year old in kindergarten. So can’t blame the world. Everyone has a inner child, I suppose?
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Note.
When I said, I would have said yes to Milan Mehta if Ginny wasn’t there, it was a hypothetical situation. If Ginny hadn’t been there I would not be alive today, so saying yes to Milan is out of the question. Anyway.
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Note.
When you fuck up and it causes a wildfire. Even if you are genuinely sorry, apologise and say things. Sometimes it won’t be heard in the heat of the moment. You need to stay composed, keep repeating your points and give it sometime for the fire to cool. After that, try apologising again and communicate…
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Note.
The lesson might not be clear soon after something happens, like a break up, failure or something of the sorts. But when you look back down the lane. It’ll all make sense.
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Note.
Oh and for the record, …. That woman who switched seats that day in social? She looked like a fucking ugly aunty. …. The man who switched seats in Dyu art cafe looked like a fucking disgusting uncle. …. I was assualted by the public in the bus for speaking about this, Highlighting that I…
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Note.
Can someone please explain to me why the contents of my book hasn’t been changed back and what exactly am I waiting for? Why is this prolonging?
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Note.
If my books aren’t changed back, there’s going to be no YouTube videos going forward too. Because my YouTube is mostly about books. So yeah, your call. If you want me to read and do youtube, please change it back. Otherwise, I will give away my books when I get tired of checking. And when…
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Note.
Any normal person will react and retaliate, abuse, get angry when they are assaulted, harassed and scrutinized to an extent to which it was done to me for absolutely no fault of theirs. It is normal, valid and justified. Invading in my space and hurting me for my reactions is not justified and it is…
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Note.
Even if I’m angry, abusing, reacting or retaliating it is valid, normal and justified. Based on the pain, harassments and assaults that were inflicted on me. The person on the receiving end is well deserving of it. Also, Whatever I say is just 20% or less compared to what they did. I don’t understand why…
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Note.
I don’t deserve the taunting, attacks and questioning in books. I have never hurt anyone intentionally till date. I might have hurt people unknowingly or unintentionally. In such cases I do apologise. But the attacks in my books were based of off someone else’s manipulations, lies, assumptions and insecurities, my retaliations and reactions. I don’t…
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Note.
Just because I’m not interested in engaging with creepy vultures doesn’t make me a lone wolf. Also, I do like socialising but people don’t know how to behave around me. After multiple crappy experiences now I’m not interested. I was interested in making friends when I moved to this apartment initially, but not many reciprocated.…
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Note.
Please change my books back to neutral so that I can start reading again. Even the books that I finished in the past. I do not wish to keep books in my shelf where I’m being taunted and attacked or even questioned for no fault of mine. I keep checking the books I finished everyday.…
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Note.
Now father is behaving like I’m the villian for confronting him for staring at my body my entire adult life. I don’t understand this.
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself enough. Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for? Why am I still suffering living this way in this house?
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Note.
He started verbally abusing me. So I verbally abused him back. I didn’t start anything. Apparently they don’t like it when I speak the truth.
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Note.
I confronted father just now. Father and mother got angry and started behaving as though I’m the one who is wrong. Father said, bring a sword and cut her legs off and started verbally abusing me. As though I’m wrong and he didn’t do anything. I kept repeating don’t shout at me, I’m not the…
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Note.
There were two ladies who were sitting in the entrance of my apartment block in the afternoon. I passed through them yesterday and they were ogling at my legs the entire time. The man at the reception of California burrito stared at my cleavage two times, when I went there starting of last year. There…
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Note.
Everytime I wear shorts, father’s eyes are always on my legs. He was staring at my legs even today. No matter how many times I ask him not to stare at my body, it’s of no use. Because he just doesn’t change his ways. He just doesn’t stop. I no longer want to live in…
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Note.
I request people to stop wetting their lips and putting their tongue out while referring to me. All that was a reaction to torture. And referring to me this way is inhuman and cruel because I’m a human being not an animal or alien. It is jarring to see people referring to me by my…
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Note.
I want the contents of my books to be changed back to the original content so that I can start reading again. Even the books that I finished in the past. I do not wish to keep a book in my shelf or even read, with such content where I’m being attacked. I already mentioned…
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Dear Dairy.
My throat still feels weird at times when I eat certain food that doesn’t suit me. I feel better after an hour or so. But sucks that I haven’t completely recovered. I’m okay otherwise though. I’m grateful for that, considering I almost died because of my throat last year. My stamina still sucks sometimes because…
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Note.
My books still haven’t been changed back. Also, Why exactly am I continuing to wait in this reality this way? What exactly am I waiting for? Can someone please explain this to me? I know the whole world is reading this. Can someone please answer my questions as to what’s happening? How many times do…
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Note.
So many women and most of the men ogle at my cleavage and legs whenever I wear something revealing and step out. With creepy disgusting expression on their faces. Next time I catch someone doing it, I’m going to create a scene and blow it out of proportion. Period. People tortured me for something innocent…
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Note.
I love collecting books but I do not wish to keep books which is of this form in my shelf with me. You do not understand how traumatizing this is for me. Please change it back. I’m literally at the end of my rope. I’m done feeling this way and feeling suicidal every single day.…
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Note.
Also, since I’ve cleared everything. I want what I asked for. I don’t understand what exactly I’m waiting for and why I’m made to suffer this way. Can someone please respond? Because it’s affecting my mental health. Waiting and suffering this way without money in this house, when I’m already successful and the whole world…
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Note.
I do not wish to keep books in my shelf where I’m being taunted or hurt for no fault of mine. Or even being triggered in the form of empathy. And even being questioned for the trial. There is nothing left to hide anymore, I know everything that’s going on to an extent. So please…
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Note.
Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for? And why I’m shown old triggering contents online of few months ago which is already cleared. The truth is already out long ago. What’s happening?
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Note.
I’m waiting for people to change my books back to it’s original content so that I can start reading again. Even the books that I finished in the last 6 months. Can someone please confirm if it’s done? I will not be reading again till this is done. Can someone please answer me? Also, Can…
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Note.
Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for? I’m literally losing it waiting this way. I haven’t stepped out of the house in 2 months. I don’t have money to do anything. I cannot take this anymore.
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Note.
Mom is sick. I don’t have money to take her to the hospital. This is the right time to give me what I asked for. I don’t have money to even take care of my basic expenses.
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself and cleared everything. Please explain to me why this is prolonging? Someone please answer me so that I can calm down. I’ve been feeling suicidal everyday and I’m fed up. Tell me what’s going on.
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Note.
If this continues any further I will fall on the floor and die. I will not end my life but my body will definitely fail.
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Note.
I spoke about those 3 men because they were good compared to others. There were few others who were good too. Like Sid and others. I would have probably said yes to Milan if I hadn’t met Ginny. But I don’t know. I can’t picture myself with him. But I would have probably tried to…
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Note.
If you want me to start reading again, please change my books back to its original content. Even the books I finished these last 6 months, including daisy hates. I’m genuinely not interested in being taunted anymore. I’ve had enough and I’ve lost interest to read too. I’ve already said everything. I’m fed up and…
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Note.
Milan Mehta was chasing me last year saying he loves me and calling me hot. If I was deprived of physical intimacy I would have met him. But I didn’t. He is really good looking and filthy rich, if I wanted those things I would have said yes to him. There were couple of other…
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Note.
Everything is proved and spoken about long ago. I no longer wish to participate in this games. I want what I asked for, content will continue after that. Thank you. I don’t understand why people are prolonging this shit unnecessarily, I don’t wish to oblige anymore. I’ve spoken about everything multiple times. If the law…
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Note.
I’ve uninstalled Goodreads and audible. I’ve unfollowed everyone on Instagram too because I don’t want to see anything book related. I will be throwing away all my books soon. I’m done. I no longer wish to be scrutinized this way. I’ve spoken about everything. Everything was cleared long ago. How many times do I have…
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Note.
I’ve lost interest to read. I don’t feel like reading anymore. If people want me to read again, please change my books back to its original content and let me know when you do it. Until then, I’m done. I no longer wish to go through this trauma and scrutiny. Over and over and over…
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Note.
My eyes didn’t slide on her body. I looked at her sleeve because she was drawing attention to it. I’ve already spoken about it million times. I might have looked down when I was speaking because I always look down. Honestly, I don’t even remember the incident. I’ve said everything that I remember. How many…
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Note.
I’ve added all the books that I DNFed and couldn’t read in the past, on my TBR once again. I was thinking about it. I understand the enormity of my words and the impact that I have now. When other booktubers do it, maybe the impact isn’t that huge. Since literally everyone are watching my…
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Note.
The monster at social intentionally served me manipulated food when I had tonsils and was smiling when I was eating it. This is called as attempt to murder. I was also sexually and mentally assaulted by her on several occasions. …. Every unjust pain that was inflicted on me should hit the perpetrators. This is…
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Note.
When I went to Sunny Joseph a decade ago. He was really bad at his job, one. Two, I wrote him a letter to thank him. He started behaving as though I like him because of it. I was so confused. He said to me, he wants me to meet a man and there’s a…
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Quote of the day.
…. “sometimes the fire you founded Don’t burn the way you’d expect Yeah, you thought that this was the end” – Olivia Rodrigo. …. “You did some bad things, but I’m the worst of them” – Taylor Swift✨ …. “You asked me for a place to sleep Locked me out and threw a feast. The…
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Note.
I want injustice to be answered with justice. I want each and every person who did me wrong to face the consequences of what they did to me. Starting from prison school to Peter Pettigrew and his flying monkeys. I’m teaching people how to treat me. I want people to clearly understand that there’s going…
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Note.
I cannot live in this house anymore. Father was staring at my legs even today. He has sexually assualted me my entire adult life. Because everyone thought my perception was faulty and every time I spoke about it, people were trying to change my perception instead of asking him to stop. He had that leverage,…
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Note.
I’ve said this before but saying it again. When someone has changed and grown, please don’t bring up what they did in the cold winters of 1991. Please keep up with their growth. Everyone are always changing and growing as we gain experiences, by constantly learning and just life. It’s constant and a verb. ….…
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Note.
A conversation between people is supposed to be a dialogue. Not a monologue and information/trauma dumping by one person. Also, the first time you meet someone, please don’t dump your history and trauma on that person. It’s the first time you are speaking to them, that person literally doesn’t have the ability or mindspace to…
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Note.
I’ve already spoken about everything multiple times. Even proved it multiple times. Can someone please explain to me why this is prolonging? I know everyone are reading this. Someone please answer me. Please don’t keep me in the dark. I’ve been feeling suicidal every single day my entire life. I’ve had enough. What’s going on?…
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Note.
Neethu and I were taking selfie last time we met, after taking the selfie neethu suddenly looked at my chest for one second and said nice top. I was wearing a tight tube top btw. It was within context. Every time Draco and I meet, the first thing she does is look at my chest…
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Note.
I don’t know how many times I have to repeat the same thing. I have already spoken about everything and even proved it. When people wanted me dead and tortured me, it happened so quickly. But when the truth comes out. I have to repeat the truth for 6 months and still people are not…
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Note.
All my friends Draco, Lucius, Neethu etc and my family have looked at my chest, ass and body multiple times to compliment my clothes. Every single one of them. They have done it all my life. My mind is clear and I know it is within context, so I don’t blame them for staring at…
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Note.
I’ve already spoken about everything multiple times since 6 months. How long will this be pulled for? She is a psychopathic monstrous vulture who was lusting on me and forcing and projecting. I have explained and spoken about everything. How long will this go on for?
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Note.
When someone declines your invitations continuously and deletes your number and pushes you and never approaches you. It’s clear that they aren’t interested. She forced me to message her when I was stepping out. She was forcing so much even after I deleted her number. So I took her number again and I asked 2-3…
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Note.
I was being extremely clear that I’m not interested to engage. I was constantly pushing her, declined her invitations and deleted her number. Which is a clear, no I’m not interested. People don’t have to read my mind to understand this boundary. It’s a clear no. But that didn’t stop her. She was forcing like…
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself enough. Can someone please explain to me why I’m waiting? I know everyone are reading this. Someone please answer me.
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Note.
I want what I asked for. Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for and why I’m waiting? Why is this prolonging?
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself enough. What exactly am I waiting for? When everyone wanted me dead based on lies and tortured me, it happened so quickly. Why is this prolonging?
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Note.
I called zivame again before giving up on them completely. They said it is marked as delivered and made me repeat the same thing once again. And they are making me wait again. I honestly don’t know what’s going on.
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Note.
Also, I did not ask Peter Pettigrew to meet willingly. I asked her to join me 2-3 times when I was stepping out because she was forcing me like a psychopath. She was forcing herself in my life whenever I went there and forcing like a vulture. She forced me to message her. Because of…
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Note.
I bought something from zivame app in November. I wanted to cancel the product so I called them to cancel and they asked me to reject the product at the doorstep. When the delivery agent called, I asked him to cancel the delivery. He gave me an otp to cancel. I gave the otp to…
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Quote of the day.
…. “I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want ’em all” – Taylor Swift✨ …. “I loved you before I knew you.” – Maddy, Everything Everything. …. “take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)” – Taylor Swift✨ ….
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Note.
I say white lies because I don’t like hurting anyone. People lie to bring me down and to save their asses. I have no words. None.
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Note.
Please don’t try to lure me, don’t make a move on me, don’t blame me for liking your face. If you do this, I will show you a mirror and abuse you till my heart’s content. You’re not going to like it when I reject you. So please don’t start shit. Please keep it platonic…
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Note.
I want what I asked for. Can someone please answer me. I know the whole world is reading this. Why is this prolonging?
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Note.
Disclaimer. Whatever advices I have given here on relationships, marriage and dating, is textbook and precocious knowledge and whatever little experiences I have by dating a bunch of men in the past. I have spoken to more than 100 men since 2019. I’m good at certain things, so I observed and noticed things during that…
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Note.
Can someone please explain to me why this is prolonging? The truth is already out. Can someone please answer me?
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. How long will you pick at the same breadcrumbs for? Why the fuck is this prolonging? When people wanted me dead based on lies, everything happened so quickly. But when the truth comes out, people pick at breadcrumbs forever and ever.
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Note.
I had a crush on neethu when I was bisexual 3 years ago. When I said this to her, she called me fucking hot and started calling me home when she was alone. If I was attracted to women in real life I would have gone to neethu’s house when she called me back then,…
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Note.
I’m allowed to change my mind about a person, after I get to know their true colors and true intentions. And take a step back. No matter who it is, a random stranger, boyfriend, friend, colleague etc. You cannot bring up the past where we had few good exchanges and use words like false hopes…
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Note.
When Peter Pettigrew lied, people tortured me and wanted me dead so quickly. Without a second thought or asking my side of what happened. I spoke the truth long ago and even proved it. But people are still picking at breadcrumbs after 6 months. And prolonging the shit unnecessarily. What would you call this exactly?
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Note.
I’ve already spoken about everything and even proved it. Could someone please explain to me why this is prolonging?
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Note.
Whenever I listen to hukkum song, I skip the first 1 minute. You can check this information. I don’t relate to this song entirely. I posted it for whatever reasons I told you earlier. …. After everything that father did, it took me a lifetime to get out of the trauma and forget and forgive…
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Note.
One of my glasses is grey. I bought these in January 2024. I met the person in question on feb or march, not sure. I had an other grey glasses that I bought in 2022. FYI. You can fact check on my lenskart app.
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Note.
time stamp : 7.20 further proof for grey. this video is 2 years ago. one year before i met the person in question.
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Note.
I don’t speak against weak people. I haven’t till now. I always help and support them. But going forward if someone crosses my boundaries, I will definitely be speaking up. I will not be thinking about saving their job. They should be thinking about saving their jobs themselves and behave accordingly. After my experience with…
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Note.
Please stop playing these stupid mind games. I want what I asked for. I cannot exist in this reality a day longer. Please stop prolonging this.
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Note.
I want what I asked for and I want to be treated conventionally. I do not want to live this invisible life anymore. Please stop speaking to me in a special way. Why am I waiting and what exactly am I waiting for? Why is this shit prolonging? I know the whole world is reading…
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Note.
Try gaslighting Taylor Swift or any other celebrities or public figures out of their achievements and keep undermining their value and worth. You’ll understand my value. Existing in this double life is not easy. Where I’m already successful but I’m suffering in reality when the whole world is benefiting out of me. Inspite of this,…
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Note.
I want what I asked for. Can someone please answer me why I’m waiting? I cannot take this any further.
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Note.
Can someone please explain to me why this is prolonging and what exactly I’m waiting for? I cannot take this any further.
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Note.
I don’t know what kinda games people are trying to play by mentioning and wearing grey and white. And continuing to taunt me about the same thing in all my books over and over again. And making my family be pessimistic and intentionally gaslight me. And making father to intentionally sexually assault me. I’m standing…
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Note.
I know everyone knows that I’m innocent and everyone are supporting me and everyone already knows the truth. So I don’t understand the intentional mind games and the intentional taunting. And why this is prolonging unnecessarily. Are people trying to benifit out of me by playing these stupid mind games for content generation purposes? Or…
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Note.
I’ve already spoken about everything. I would like an explanation for what exactly I’m waiting for and why I’m waiting? Can someone please answer me?
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Note.
I’m not even fucking deprived of physical intimacy to do whatever she accused me of. You should see how men chase me. I have that thing about me, if I want it I can easily and effortlessly get it. I had spoken to few women when I was bisexual years ago. They wanted to meet,…
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Note.
Honestly, I don’t understand why the shit is being stretched so much. That aunty is not even my type. I already explained and proved everything. I wasn’t even fucking interested in her uniform or even to speak to her, she was cribbing and drawing attention to it and since it’s my favourite color, I said…
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Note.
I know everyone knows I’m innocent. Please stop playing stupid mind games and prolonging shit unnecessarily. I’m not falling for it.
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Note.
I can’t handle this trial anymore. I’m feeling extremely suicidal everyday. I can’t keep a brave face anymore. I’m exhausted and depleted. I might fall on the floor and die if this continues one more day. I have no strength left to fight. Please put an end to this. I don’t think I can handle…
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Note.
Peter Pettigrew didn’t say sorry because she was sorry. She said sorry because her manager asked her to apologise. It was a half assed fucked up apology. FYI. She started questioning me as to why I spoke to her manager and stuff. Like what she did was ethical. (sarcasm)
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Note.
Every single person in this world knows that I’m innocent. Can someone please answer me why this is prolonging? The truth is already out. Can someone answer what’s happening please? I know the whole world is reading this. I can’t take this a day longer.
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Note.
Also, The whole point of me making content was to prove my innocence and sanity. It became whatever it is now. Success is an added benefit, that’s it. So I took advantage of it and asked for things I want because I deserve it. Because I don’t wish to work again. That’s all there is…
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Note.
People in the public eye might have spoken about something in the past. Whenever someone is in the same situation, it’s quite normal to experience the same things. I say certain things based on my experience which might be similar by coincidence. I don’t understand why the person who is controlling my content is pulling…
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Note.
Does someone want to explain to me why I’m being taunted even now in my books? I know everyone in this world are reading this. Can someone answer me? What kinda pleasure people are gaining by repeating the same thing over and over again and making me feel suicidal every day. Even after proving myself…
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Note.
How many times will I be taunted about the same thing over and over again in my books? By using words flick, cat, gawk, stare, unabashedly, smooth? How many times? Even after clarifying and speaking about every damn thing. How long will this go on for? Why is no one taunting my family and friends…
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Note.
Also, I did not kill anyone. I take absolutely no responsibility for how fully grown adults are handling the truth. They spread slander and manipulated the truth. They took zero responsibility for me. I came out of it myself like an adult, cleared everything and spoke the truth. I had some help too. So teamwork.…
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Note.
People are putting on theatrics to make it look like they have a problem with me being different. And make it look like I have bad breath instead of cleaning my teeth. Make it seem like I’m the problem in front of the world. By pointing out and saying unnecessary things. Whereas otherwise, the same…
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Note.
I’ve said this before but saying it again. Because well, Anyway. You aren’t a 2 year old in kindergarten to fret about someone not wanting to be your friend or not wanting to be in a relationship with you. We feel what we feel. You can’t and should not force it. Go with the flow.…
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Dear Diary.
When I said hungry, I meant I want something to eat. But I can’t go out of this room because parents are asleep. I’m craving McD. I’m waiting for Ginny to speak to me. I have dreamed and imagined all possible scenarios. Everytime I think about seeing her, I start to cry. I don’t know…
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Dear Dairy.
5.37AM. I miss Ginny so much. The moon was at the top yesterday and it was half and white. It’s so amazing how the moon moves with me while I walk. It’s like we are moving together to our secret melody and dancing. I smile whenever I see it. Late in the night, I went…
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Note.
Everything I’ve said about Peter Pettigrew is the truth. I honestly don’t know why it is being stretched this way because we barely spoke. She is just a random person. There was nothing between us for this to go on for 6 months to be completely honest. But after what happened to me, I want…
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Note.
I spoke to Him my entire childhood when I was silent. That’s why “God saw what you did” comes out of me naturally. Because I was speaking to Him.
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Note.
I’ve been saying “God saw what you did” to the people who wronged me since a really long time. I didn’t even know to speak back then. I didn’t even know I would be able to prove myself one day. All my life, no one I liked has loved me because I was crazy and…
rachana rajan <3 